fandomhigh | Ethics [Thursday, April 25, 2013, 2nd period]

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ethics

Ethics [Thursday, April 25, 2013, 2nd period]

"Welcome to our final class together," Anakin said as he passed out the exams. "I hope you've learned something about yourselves in our time together so that when you're faced with a tough situation, you can make a choice you can live with."

That's what passed for as touchy-feely from Anakin, folks. Sorry. "There are no right and wrong answers on this exam, but I do want you to explain your answer. Don't answer what you think I want to hear--answer how you'd honestly react."

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"Or that," Anakin agreed, smiling faintly in response before that expression faded into guilt. "It's too easy to do that when I'm beating myself up for my mistakes getting others killed."

Anakin nodded. "I did that for every single clone I lost during the war," he said softly. "It's what makes you better at a really awful job."

"I didn't ask for this," Anakin said with quiet frustration, though part of that was because he knew perfectly well that he loved playing the hero, and therefore he'd set himself up for it. "I never set out to be some shining symbol of -- of everything."

"I know," Anakin said. "Even when you want some of it, the hero-worship can be a bit much."

Anakin just looked at him for several seconds, silently, and finally gave a hesitant smile. "You get it. I'm . . . really glad."

It seemed like a little thing, but it made a surprisingly big difference.

Anakin smiled back. "I'm glad you're all right with having anything in common with me at all."

"I've been warned all my life about turning out too much like you," Anakin replied. "And I've been warned about my anger more times than I can count. And it wasn't until after I got here that I understood this, but . . . it's either accept what we have in common or resent the comparisons for the rest of my life."

Anakin nodded. "That's more wisdom than I demonstrated in forty years," he admitted. "I focused on resentment."

"I might have," admitted Anakin. "It's tempting. Really tempting, most of the time. But it's a comparison that no one will ever, ever let me forget and to be honest I don't have the time to spare for resentment."

"You are your own person," Anakin said. "A name doesn't magically imbue you with my terrible decision making powers."

"I know," Anakin said very seriously, though to be fair he made a lot of his own rather terrible decisions. "It took me a while, but I think I've figured that out."

Would it stop him from possibly trying too hard to prove it to others, though? Probably not.

Well, some of...both of those...was probably genetic.

"And as long as you know, you can try to shunt aside the well-meaning but stupid comments from others who haven't figured that out."

"I wish," Anakin said after a moment, "I'd had a chance to actually know you -- you, not him -- earlier."

Genuine regret flickered across Anakin's face. "Me too."

Anakin caught that look, and adopted a mock-stern expression. "Don't you start on that now, too. We can't both do that at once."

Anakin's lips quirked up. "I'm sorry my legacy is such a heavy one."

"That's not your fault," Anakin reassured him. "I understand that now."

"My choices were entirely my fault," Anakin said, "but I was certainly never expecting them to passed down to multiple generations."

Anakin laughed ruefully. "I don't even do very well at anticipating the ramifications of my choices the next day."

"The Force knows I was tired of hearing this, but that sort of thing comes with age and practice," Anakin replied. "When you start leading groups of people, you have to start thinking bigger than you, or else you get the crushing guilt of screwing up their lives as well as yours."

He was going to remember this soon, wasn't he?

"When you put it that way, it's better than 'when you're older you'll understand,'" Anakin remarked -- lightly, but that mood faltered. "Enough beings have died because of me already."

Anakin gave him a small, sad smile. "I know the feeling."

"I thought you would." Anakin's eyes widened about a fraction of a second after the words were out of his mouth, and he quickly added, "I don't mean that badly."

Anakin waved it aside. "I know you didn't."

Anakin's relief showed clearly on his face, as well as in the Force. "My first Jedi Master sacrificed himself to give us a chance to escape," he said softly.

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