Personal Improvement Through Science: Aperture Laboratories Presents Physical Education (Wed/Per 2)

[gladigotburned.livejournal.com]

There was music in the entry corridor before class today. Not the usual tinny, monophonic samba from the radios, either, though the change wasn't exactly comforting: it sounded like someone was humming "Pomp and Circumstance" over and over again. In a minor key. Echoing off the corridor walls.

How reassuring -- just as reassuring as the number of test elements on the sign outside the door, undoubtedly.

"It's the end of this testing track," GLaDOS told them, sounding Very Sincerely Sad Really about the situation. "And all of you survived! Impressive. The Enrichment Center prides itself on never valuing your safety above the pursuit of science, but you've all beaten the odds and contributed to the ongoing welfare of both."

Cue a very loud sequence of three claps. Very slow claps.

"To mark your achievement, I've got a surprise for you at the end of this final test." GLaDOS was very perky about that. Be afraid. "But since this is the culmination of the testing track, you'll be required to go through the Aperture Science Terminal Comprehensive Evaluation. You've made it through this many tests so far, which means your odds of making it through this one are --"

Wasn't it comforting when she sped up into high-pitched nonsense?

"Oh, one more thing. This test is not a part of the Cooperative Testing Initiative. Chamber doors are calibrated to allow only one person through at a time, but don't worry. If you're a little too eager, we here at the Enrichment Center promise to repurpose your lost limbs in the most effective possible manner. Good luck."

[OOC: Don't ping into this post. Only a trained Pre-OCD Pinging Associate can ping into this post before the OCD is up. You're not qualified. OhgodsomuchOCD. It's up. You can go back to doing whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility while waiting for the OCD to be up.]

Comments

Re: Talk to GLaDOS [PITS, 12/12]

[dollpocalypse]

"Thanks!" he said brightly. "I could help you test the, uh, tests if you want."

Meta testing. It was the new hip thing.

"Oh, b-t-dub, you're good after the bird thing, right? You seemed pretty distraught."

Yep, GLaDOS, he was actually asking how you were feeling. Because for whatever reason, evil vengeful AIs were the only people he could contemplate even having feelings.

Re: Talk to GLaDOS [PITS, 12/12]

[gladigotburned.livejournal.com]

BECAUSE EVIL, VENGEFUL AIS TOTALLY HAD FEELINGS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Nice of you to at least acknowledge that, Topher.

"Two plus two is . . . ten. IN BASE FOUR. I'm fine," GLaDOS said with as much dignity as her processors could come up with and a little undue emphasis. Probably because she wasn't, really. "It was an enlightening . . . sociological experiment."

Re: Talk to GLaDOS [PITS, 12/12]

[dollpocalypse]

Eh, he'd take that at face value. GLaDOS was totally an honest, trustworthy person.

Or... none of those things.

"So are you gonna teach here still?" he asked, bouncing a little on his heels. "'Cause, you know, tests generally need to be run a bunch of times..."

Shut up he was totally not sad at the idea of her leaving. SHUT YOUR FACE.