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fandomhigh2012-12-12 11:23 am
gladigotburned.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-12-12 11:23 am
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Personal Improvement Through Science: Aperture Laboratories Presents Physical Education (Wed/Per 2)
There was music in the entry corridor before class today. Not the usual tinny, monophonic samba from the radios, either, though the change wasn't exactly comforting: it sounded like someone was humming "Pomp and Circumstance" over and over again. In a minor key. Echoing off the corridor walls.
How reassuring -- just as reassuring as the number of test elements on the sign outside the door, undoubtedly.
"It's the end of this testing track," GLaDOS told them, sounding Very Sincerely Sad Really about the situation. "And all of you survived! Impressive. The Enrichment Center prides itself on never valuing your safety above the pursuit of science, but you've all beaten the odds and contributed to the ongoing welfare of both."
Cue a very loud sequence of three claps. Very slow claps.
"To mark your achievement, I've got a surprise for you at the end of this final test." GLaDOS was very perky about that. Be afraid. "But since this is the culmination of the testing track, you'll be required to go through the Aperture Science Terminal Comprehensive Evaluation. You've made it through this many tests so far, which means your odds of making it through this one are --"
Wasn't it comforting when she sped up into high-pitched nonsense?
"Oh, one more thing. This test is not a part of the Cooperative Testing Initiative. Chamber doors are calibrated to allow only one person through at a time, but don't worry. If you're a little too eager, we here at the Enrichment Center promise to repurpose your lost limbs in the most effective possible manner. Good luck."
[OOC:Don't ping into this post. Only a trained Pre-OCD Pinging Associate can ping into this post before the OCD is up. You're not qualified. OhgodsomuchOCD. It's up. You can go back to doing whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility while waiting for the OCD to be up.]
How reassuring -- just as reassuring as the number of test elements on the sign outside the door, undoubtedly.
"It's the end of this testing track," GLaDOS told them, sounding Very Sincerely Sad Really about the situation. "And all of you survived! Impressive. The Enrichment Center prides itself on never valuing your safety above the pursuit of science, but you've all beaten the odds and contributed to the ongoing welfare of both."
Cue a very loud sequence of three claps. Very slow claps.
"To mark your achievement, I've got a surprise for you at the end of this final test." GLaDOS was very perky about that. Be afraid. "But since this is the culmination of the testing track, you'll be required to go through the Aperture Science Terminal Comprehensive Evaluation. You've made it through this many tests so far, which means your odds of making it through this one are --"
Wasn't it comforting when she sped up into high-pitched nonsense?
"Oh, one more thing. This test is not a part of the Cooperative Testing Initiative. Chamber doors are calibrated to allow only one person through at a time, but don't worry. If you're a little too eager, we here at the Enrichment Center promise to repurpose your lost limbs in the most effective possible manner. Good luck."
[OOC:
Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Sign In [PITS, 12/12]
Locker Rooms: Before Class [PITS, 12/12]
During the Lecture [PITS, 12/12]
Re: During the Lecture [PITS, 12/12]
Also, still wearing that awful Christmas sweater with the usual gear.
Test Chamber 1
When the corridor doors open, they let you into a very low-ceilinged room (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/94428/94428_original.jpg) with no portal-holding surfaces and only one possible exit (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/94703/94703_original.jpg): to jump down into the much taller adjacent room.
Chamber 1A
You have to get up to the next ledge (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/94928/94928_original.jpg), but you won't be able to portal up to it, which means you have to find the Edgeless Safety Cube that fits in the Safety Cube Supercolliding Superbutton next to the lift platform (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/95326/95326_original.jpg).
It's high up on a ledge (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/95758/95758_original.jpg) in one corner of this room; you can portal up to the ledge, grab it, and jump down, or if you're lucky enough to place your portal right (it's a pretty blind shot) you can just reach through and grab that sucker (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/96211/96211_original.jpg). Get on the lift platform, put the "cube" on the button, and ride on up to the next section.
Re: Chamber 1A
Chamber 1B
That should be easy enough to cross; there's a hard light bridge on the far side of the moat, and from here you can place a portal to extend the bridge over the water (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/98078/98078_original.jpg). Hey, you can even keep walking right into the next section of the chamber, where you can --
Chamber 1C
-- see the telltale motion detector lasers of a bank of turrets down below. There's also a Thermal Discouragement Beam laser across the far side of the room, and a Discouragement Redirection Cube on the floor.
There's one portal-holding panel you can see, positioned so you can use the hard light bridge to block off the turrets' sensors (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/100446/100446_original.jpg). You'll just need to reposition the other portal at the bridge generator by rotating it 90 degrees, otherwise you'll end up with a horizontal bridge extension that won't block those turrets off at all.
If you don't manage that before you jump down into this last section, you'll just have to run really fast past the turrets to grab the Redirection Cube and use it to explode them with the laser. Hope you have good reflexes. Either way you can explode the turrets with the laser (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/102018/102018_original.jpg); you're just less likely to get covered in bright orange paint if you block them successfully.
Once the turrets are dealt with, redirect the laser into the receptacle on the floor (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/104756/104756_original.jpg) to unlock the door to chamber 2.
Re: Chamber 1C
"Stupid turrets," he muttered to himself as he finally managed to block them off successfully, then lasered them with a vengeance.
Test Chamber 2
"Well done," says GLaDOS, though she really could stand to sound more pleased about it. Oh, wait. "You completed that test chamber faster than any previous test subject on record. As a consequence, this next chamber will --"
Loud banging noise, and a burst of static.
"Hang on a moment, I'll be right back." Hold music. Holiday hold music, even, then: "Okay. I had to . . . deal with a rebellious servomotor. It won't be causing problems any more. You can proceed."
Hey, maybe this one will be easier --
Chamber 2A
Or not so much, because as soon as you open the doors you can see a ten-foot-high laser field stretching from wall to wall. No portal surfaces here, except a protrusion (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/108304/108304_original.jpg) high up on the left-hand wall. Oh, and the target spot for the Aerial Faith Plate in front of you, so you get to fling yourself up over the lasers straight through a portal and into an area you can't actually see from here, thus putting the 'faith' into Aerial Faith Plate.
Chamber 2B
Your trajectory clears the laser field easily and catapults you onto a high ledge facing a floor-to-ceiling Material Emancipation Grill separated from a floor-to-ceiling glass panel by a column. Once you pass through the Grill your established portals will disappear, but there's a convenient opening in the glass for you to shoot a portal across to the ledge with the Weighted Storage Cube (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/111940/111940_original.jpg).
You'll need that to hold down the button here, unless you want the lasers (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/112654/112654_original.jpg) blocking off the final section of this chamber to get you nice and toasty.
Chamber 2C
Whoa, hope you didn't just jump down into this section all willy-nilly -- there's three turrets blocking off the exit door, directly facing you.
How nice that they're all standing on portal-holding floor panels, though, and that the upper walls and ceiling of this room are also portal-holding surfaces. Just shoot portals underneath the turrets to drop them from the ceiling. Mwahahaha.
Re: Chamber 2C
Then he hopped down, feeling pleased with himself.
Test Chamber 3
"It's time for your surprise," GLaDOS intones cheerfully just before the doors to this room open.
It's not a very big room (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/120394/120394_original.jpg). In fact, you can see the exit door and its surrounding moat from here. You can also see the laser sensor of a turret trained directly on that door. The second you step into the room you'll see that turret laser swivel toward you and hear a cheerful, singsong little "There you are!"
"Surprise," GLaDOS says far too cheerfully as a shower of confetti rains down on you from a vent above.
Chamber 3A: The One With The Surprise (Not)
Re: Chamber 3A: The One With The Surprise (Not)
Seriously, those never got old.
Chamber 3B: The One With the Twist
Except that doesn't open the door. It just activates an Excursion Funnel instead. So how do you open the exit door? With that . . . button on the ceiling? With the convenient portal-holding panel on the floor beneath it?
Yep. Use portals to point the Excursion Funnel toward the button (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/125483/125483_original.jpg), then drop the spare Redirection Cube in. Ta-da! The Funnel will push the cube all the way up against the button and hold it there.
Now hop into the Funnel to cross the moat, hop out (careful to avoid the laser beam), and exit.
Re: Chamber 3B: The One With the Twist
He set up his portals, hopped into the funnel and dropped off the cube, then carefully jumped down and headed for the open door.
Back in the Entry Corridor: Post-Test
. . . also, there was never any cake. Sad.
Talk to GLaDOS [PITS, 12/12]
Re: Talk to GLaDOS [PITS, 12/12]
Look at that grin, GLaDOS. You'd made a kid happy. Nice job breaking it, villain.
Re: Talk to GLaDOS [PITS, 12/12]
One of the wall panels seemed to pull back just a fraction of an inch, as if in indignation.
"You did pretty well, much as it pains me to say it," GLaDOS replied. "I'm obviously going to have to work on making the tests more challenging."
And lethal. Why couldn't she make them be more lethal?
Also, note how there was no gratitude for the bird rescue here? ONLY CHELL GOT THAT. Sorry, Topher.
Re: Talk to GLaDOS [PITS, 12/12]
Meta testing. It was the new hip thing.
"Oh, b-t-dub, you're good after the bird thing, right? You seemed pretty distraught."
Yep, GLaDOS, he was actually asking how you were feeling. Because for whatever reason, evil vengeful AIs were the only people he could contemplate even having feelings.
Re: Talk to GLaDOS [PITS, 12/12]
"
Two plus two is . . . ten. IN BASE FOUR.I'm fine," GLaDOS said with as much dignity as her processors could come up with and a little undue emphasis. Probably because she wasn't, really. "It was an enlightening . . . sociological experiment."Re: Talk to GLaDOS [PITS, 12/12]
Or... none of those things.
"So are you gonna teach here still?" he asked, bouncing a little on his heels. "'Cause, you know, tests generally need to be run a bunch of times..."
Shut up he was totally not sad at the idea of her leaving. SHUT YOUR FACE.
OOC [PITS, 12/12]
I HAD FUN. SHUT UP.