Personal Improvement Through Science: Aperture Laboratories Presents Physical Education (Wed/Per 2)

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There was music in the entry corridor before class today. Not the usual tinny, monophonic samba from the radios, either, though the change wasn't exactly comforting: it sounded like someone was humming "Pomp and Circumstance" over and over again. In a minor key. Echoing off the corridor walls.

How reassuring -- just as reassuring as the number of test elements on the sign outside the door, undoubtedly.

"It's the end of this testing track," GLaDOS told them, sounding Very Sincerely Sad Really about the situation. "And all of you survived! Impressive. The Enrichment Center prides itself on never valuing your safety above the pursuit of science, but you've all beaten the odds and contributed to the ongoing welfare of both."

Cue a very loud sequence of three claps. Very slow claps.

"To mark your achievement, I've got a surprise for you at the end of this final test." GLaDOS was very perky about that. Be afraid. "But since this is the culmination of the testing track, you'll be required to go through the Aperture Science Terminal Comprehensive Evaluation. You've made it through this many tests so far, which means your odds of making it through this one are --"

Wasn't it comforting when she sped up into high-pitched nonsense?

"Oh, one more thing. This test is not a part of the Cooperative Testing Initiative. Chamber doors are calibrated to allow only one person through at a time, but don't worry. If you're a little too eager, we here at the Enrichment Center promise to repurpose your lost limbs in the most effective possible manner. Good luck."

[OOC: Don't ping into this post. Only a trained Pre-OCD Pinging Associate can ping into this post before the OCD is up. You're not qualified. OhgodsomuchOCD. It's up. You can go back to doing whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility while waiting for the OCD to be up.]

Comments

Sign In [PITS, 12/12]

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Like you're ALMOST DONE OH THANK GOD.

Locker Rooms: Before Class [PITS, 12/12]

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Inexplicably, there's an 8-bit version of the usual samba music playing in here today.

During the Lecture [PITS, 12/12]

[gladigotburned.livejournal.com]

For your usual corridor-waiting, sign-eyeing, mingling, and all that.

Test Chamber 1

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"This first section of the test will evaluate your ability to retain a grasp on basic testing skills," GLaDOS's voice announces when you step in.

When the corridor doors open, they let you into a very low-ceilinged room (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/94428/94428_original.jpg) with no portal-holding surfaces and only one possible exit (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/94703/94703_original.jpg): to jump down into the much taller adjacent room.

Test Chamber 2

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"Well done," says GLaDOS, though she really could stand to sound more pleased about it. Oh, wait. "You completed that test chamber faster than any previous test subject on record. As a consequence, this next chamber will --"

Loud banging noise, and a burst of static.

"Hang on a moment, I'll be right back." Hold music. Holiday hold music, even, then: "Okay. I had to . . . deal with a rebellious servomotor. It won't be causing problems any more. You can proceed."

Hey, maybe this one will be easier --

Test Chamber 3

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"It's time for your surprise," GLaDOS intones cheerfully just before the doors to this room open.

It's not a very big room (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gladigotburned/37922480/120394/120394_original.jpg). In fact, you can see the exit door and its surrounding moat from here. You can also see the laser sensor of a turret trained directly on that door. The second you step into the room you'll see that turret laser swivel toward you and hear a cheerful, singsong little "There you are!"

"Surprise," GLaDOS says far too cheerfully as a shower of confetti rains down on you from a vent above.

Back in the Entry Corridor: Post-Test

[gladigotburned.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that exit door? Drops you straight into a freefall through a dark shaft for all of two seconds before you get dumped back into the entry corridor. Hopefully no one who finished the course before you was standing underneath the vent.

. . . also, there was never any cake. Sad.

Talk to GLaDOS [PITS, 12/12]

[gladigotburned.livejournal.com]

Who is relishing not being a potato any more.

OOC [PITS, 12/12]

[gladigotburned.livejournal.com]

Here's your image gallery (http://gladigotburned.livejournal.com/pics/catalog/2939)! Sorry this took so long to get up! I've been working on it since yesterday evening.

I HAD FUN. SHUT UP.