Jeff and Jamie's Amazing Heterosexual Buddy Bonanza of Joy, Wednesday

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"Hello everyone!" Jeff called. For reasons unknown, the classroom had been packed full of sofas. Big sofas, tiny sofas, sofa sofas... look, Jeff wasn't a sofa-expert, all right? "Today Jamie and I will be talking..." his voice dropped to a More Serious Note, "...about subtext."

"Which by the way has nothing to do with a sandwich or reading a book on a submarine," Jamie added oh-so-helpfully.

"My mother always taught me that Captain Subtext could see everything, 'cause he had the secret power of truth-detection," Jeff continued happily. (If sounding like his happiness was a little laced with fear.) "See, sometimes you say things, but you're actually thinking other things, and it appears in what you're saying through subtext!" Thank you, Jeff. "Captain Subtext can always tell if you're lying. There's a few ways how..."

"And believe it or not," Jamie said as he turned on the projector and displayed an image on the screen behind Jeff, "Most of them don't involve text at all."

"Prickles," Jeff continued doggedly, tagging that off on one finger, "Blurts. Headlaughs. If you notice any of these symptoms in succession in another human being, I can tell you, they're lying." He jabbed his finger up in the air to underscore his point. "But that one, you'll have to see in action! Today, we're bringing Captain Subtext's Helmet of Truth Detection right here in the classroom with you!"

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

"It's really very impressive," Jamie said with a nod of affirmation as he switched the image on the screen behind Jeff for another featuring everyone's favorite coupling from Wendy the Werewolf Hunter.

Meanwhile, a mechanical voice loudly proclaimed, "CAPTAIN SUBTEXT TRANSMITTING. TRUTH HELMET ACTIVATED. AUTO-TRANSLATE OPTION ENABLED."

The lights in the classroom suddenly flashed and became green.

"It is of the greatest importance known to man that you learn to understand the power of subtext," Jeff proclaimed, sounding Very Intense Indeed. "You will find someone and talk to them and the Helmet of Truth Detection will chime when it senses you are lying. It will translate your real thoughts and project them on the walls!"

The only message on the walls right now? JEFF HAS ISSUES WITH HIS MOTHER.

Words like 'Cleft' and 'Gusset' also began to flash briefly on the walls.

"Not that you have any embarassing thoughts we'd like to see," Jamie added as another message reading I WISH MY HAIR WAS PRETTY AS ANAKIN SKYWALKER'S. He also switched the image again to show some teammates from X-Factor back home.

"Which is why we'll be wearing these," Jeff finished, holding up two bizarre helmets with sunglasses attached. He handed one to Jamie. "Get to talking!"

Comments

Sign In

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Subtextually.

Re: Sign In

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam Puckett

Re: Sign In

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara

Re: Sign In

[stars_and_money]

Jeremy Darling does not do subtext of any kind

Listen to the Lecture

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Oh boy.

Partner up and... Talk!

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Yes, you absolutely have to find a partner and talk to them. And if anything you say is laden with subtext at all, a chime will go off and the nature of the subtext will be projected at the walls.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Re: Partner up and... Talk!

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara looked so friendly and approachable with her arms crossed like that, really she did.

Re: Partner up and... Talk!

[i-am-the-rat.livejournal.com]

Hank DID look friendly and approachable!!!

He also looked very silly, with all the aluminum foil sticking out from underneath the helmet.

Yes, aluminum foil.

"Hey, baby," Hank said to her. "You look cold as ice. Need some help warming up that cold shoulder?" His helmet fizzled and clicked sadly, and the wall behind him filled with static.

Why had Hank been carrying aluminum foil in his bookbag? Because you never know when you're going to get mind-probed. THAT was why.

Re: Partner up and... Talk!

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara gave Hank a look. "Not from you."

The wall behind her filled with text.

GUESS HOW MANY WAYS SHE KNOWS TO HURT YOU.

SHE LIKES TO HIT THINGS.

RUN, HANK, RUN.

Re: Partner up and... Talk!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla still wasn't entirely clear about subtext (which was why a good many conversations flew right over her head) but she was eager to learn!

Re: Partner up and... Talk!

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

"Hi," Juliet said, pouting just a bit. "I don't get what we're doing. This helmet itches."

The walls said, SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. THE HELMET ITCHES.

Juliet ... didn't so much do subtext.

Re: Partner up and... Talk!

[dressedinblood]

Anna was standing off to the side looking nervous, if anyone could see that for the helmet. At least this answered the question of whether she could wear hats. Would the subtext give away her secrets? She hoped not...

Maybe she would just...remove the helmet and disappear when no one was looking. Yeah, that seemed like a good plan. Now she just had to wait for an opportune moment and hope no one tried to talk to her first.

Re: Partner up and... Talk!

[didntchewgrass.livejournal.com]

"You look as uncomfortable as I feel," Elphaba remarked to Anna, her own helmet on.

The walls declared, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS AT ALL.

Which wasn't too subtextual, admittedly.

Re: Partner up and... Talk!

[answer2bheard.livejournal.com]

Jim was... only mildly worried, really. What was the worst thought that could possibly cross his mind while he was wearing one of those helmet things, anyhow?

Talk to the TAs

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Who have the unenviable task of overseeing you today while the teachers stand in the corner with helmets on.

Re: Talk to the TAs

[hurtingzeebo]

They had to mention subs, didn't they?

"Dammit, now I'm hungry. And they got me thinking about my screwed up family."

DAMMIT, said the wall, NOW I'M HUNGRY. AND MY FAMILY IS SCREWED UP.

Sam's subtext was frequently just flat out text.

Re: Talk to the TAs

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"Blonde TA!" Jamie said trying to approach where he thought the TA was. Really he was just walking into a corner. "I have a new list for you!"

Re: Talk to the TAs

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

Miley was looking a bit like she'd rather not participate today, thank you. She was the proud owner of some rather important subtext. So.

Sadly, she was also very, very likely to be talked into it anyway. Woe.

Re: Talk to the TAs

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"Brunette TA!" Jamie called out after he had located Sam. "I have a list for you as well!"

Talk to the Teachers

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Who can hear it if you don't talk, just so you know.

They won't be seeing much with those helmets on, on the other hand...

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Jeff thought he was brilliant! And guarding these children against a desperate future of being governed by subtext!

He was also trying not to think about his mother's threats with regards to Captain Subtext and how subtext leads to him 'removing another segment'.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"Jeff?" Jamie asked as he was reaching out with his arms to make sure he didn't run into anything. "I can't see anything with this helment on."

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Jamie had a helmet on that didn't allow him to see a thing. Which because he couldn't see anything meant he kept walking into things which meant he would occasionally duplicate.

This could be a very long class.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[answer2bheard.livejournal.com]

It took Jim a few minutes of poking at the helmet and trying to figure out how it worked before he just gave up and approached the... slightly more sane of the two teachers, hands stuffed casually in his jacket pockets.

"Hey," he greeted, waving a hand in front of that helmet, there. "I don't suppose you've got a moment?"

OOC

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Writing this class brings out the madman in me.

Inspired by this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxVHealguGs) - NWS, but then what Coupling clip isn't?