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ethics

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Tara grins broadly at the students as they enter, her good mood almost super-human.

"Hey. Only three weeks until the end of term, huh? I don't know about you, but that kind of snuck up on me! So today we've got a pretty heavy discussion topic, and I want you to remember that this is just a class. Emo Closet is there if you need it, although I hope we call all be gentle enough with one another that it won't be necessary, okay?

"Because today, folks, we're going to be talking about rape - and all I'm going to ask you folks to do is define it."

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This is a biggie, folks - and I've talked to several students out of character about it earlier in the term. I am a survivor of sexual abuse myself, and I'm putting that out there so you know that I'm not trivialising the topic, or trying to discuss something I know nothing about.

I also know that the overwhelming majority of rapes do not go reported, often because the victim is unsure whether the word 'rape' can really be applied. The TV image is too often a stranger in a dark alleyway. Real life isn't like that. What I want to talk about here is real life - including cases where one partner believes they have been raped, and the other partner didn't even realise they had transgressed the boundaries of consent.

If you are upset by any of this out of character, just let me know. I promise I will not penalise anyone's character for their player's reactions.

I'm not upset about it, it just caught me off guard. Having survived a rape several years ago and an assault last yera, this is a touchy topic for me. I'm not sure how chatty Phoebe and Buffy are going to be in this class.

That's fine, and thank you for letting me know.

*hugs you*

It should be a touchy topic. This is the sort of thing no-one should ever be blase about.

This is going to be super hard for V to deal with... she spent a year thinking she was raped and then found out she "consented" but was drugged.

I'm going to stick Lisa in the emo closet for all of class. Not that her backstory includes a personal sexual assault, and in reality she'd probably be very vocal with her opinions, but I personally don't want to go there right now. Thanks.

No problem. I'll just leave her be, shall I?

Thanks. I'll definitely have her do the assignment :)

Just to clarify, Bel is kinda wiggy, but his mun is not.

Thank you for the clarification! I really appreciate it. Also? Get your ass over to my office hours (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fandomhigh/415820.html) to pick up That Things Which We Discussed.

*g* There are Reasons IC -- I can tell you OOC if you want to know why.

And okay, okay, pushy witch! ;)

Hey, I'm probably going to sit this one out. I'll sign her in, and everything, but I don't know if the discuss-y part's a good, for me. Sorry. Maybe later?

No problem at all. Thanks for letting me know.

*hugs*

_{[ooc: Well, I had a few weeks to mull answers. If Parker's so blunt she's offensive, zap her responses. Not sure if I can expand on those in any way that won't upset either me or someone else.]}

That's fine. I respect Parker's right not to answer if I ask a question that pushes your buttons!

*hugs you*

Rory's going to leave class. I think I already told you the reasoning.

No problem.

OOC: I'm fine for this debate - Hell, I went to Barnard, pick a day when we didn't talk about sexual assault. But Angel is very much not and he's not going to be quiet about it. Esp not since he already came into class wondering what on earth Tara was thinking both having a party for Crowley and thinking Angel would want in on it.

So this is where I give fair warning in return that he's heading towards some brutal honesty, and with Angelus's memories in his arsenal the word "brutal" means it. Let me know if that's going to be upsetting/triggery for you in turn. There's ways I can keep him IC without going on a rant, but the rant is his first gut instinct here.

Not to be too drama queeny, but for the record, when a subject pisses me the hell off this bad, I don't want to play it. My character doesn't want to play it. This? Is not fun.

And on a very slightly different topic, the mood of this post does not help players' pissiness about the subject.

Not to go meta or anything but Tara's good mood has no bearing on the subject matter.

It's a serious discussion and an even more serious subject, I will grant you that, but ... this is ethics class. Talking about good and evil and exploring all of the twisty aspects and gray areas. You signed up for this class... you've seen what kind of excercises and discussions and projects there have been so far. I'm not saying that you don't have the right to be pissed or unpleasantly surprised, but... you literally signed up for this. *shrug*

Unfortunately, if you're not following the Tara plot, there's no way to know that, and it looks inappropriate. And I'm not the only one who thought this.

And honestly? If I'd known that we were going to be doing master/slave assignments and discussions of rape, I never would have signed any of my girls up for this class. But I didn't. The only reason I didn't drop Quinn after the m/s bit was because I figured we wouldn't be going through this same thing again, and then the add/drop period was over. As it is, I'm looking forward to the end of the semester.

That's entirely at people's discretion, of course, to make assumptions based on what they see. They'd be wrong... but they're within their rights to make those assumptions.

And looking forward to the end of the semester is just fine. Once again, perfectly within your rights. However... taking it out on Tara - not only IG but OOG? - is unnecessary, uncalled for and immature.

Quinn's reaction is IC, not that I need to explain any of my actions IC or OOC to you. The only reason she went along with the m/s assignment was because she was in charge, and even then she threatened to sue the school if she ever got another assignment like this. Therefore, we don't have a happy Quinn.

As for OOG, I'm sure you would have been completely fine with me saying something if I said "Good job". It's not unnecessary, because this all upset me and I am not only entitled to say so, but isn't that what the OOC comments are for? It's not uncalled for for the exact same reasons. And it's not immature, as I'm stating my opinion, and not throwing a whiny hissy fit. If Tara has a problem with any of this, she can come to me IC or OOC and I'll say the same things, but I'm not discussing this with you anymore.

I'm ending the conversation here, as I've already gone to the mods with my feelings on this and have encouraged the others complaining about this to do the same.

Re: OOC Discussion

shane-mcc.livejournal.com - 2005-12-03 04:39 (UTC) - Expand

I've been thinking about this a lot today, and there's something I'm not seeing. As the person who seems the most upset, I'm hoping you can help me understand.

I get that Tara's good mood might have upset some people. She has IC reasons to be in a good mood, but that's not really relevant.

What I'm trying to understand is why this topic is pushing buttons so badly. I tried to phrase the questions very carefully, and these topics are things I discussed in my own high school. No-one is even hinting at suggesting rape is ever acceptable or excusable.

I absolutely understand that when a subject pisses you off, you don't want to play it. What I don't understand is why this has pissed you off. If you'd be willing to help me to that understanding, I would really appreciate it.

Yeah, the mood thing? Seriously, imagine you're in a class, where you walk in and the teacher is happy and smiling and cheerful, and suddenly it's "Okay, today we're talking about rape." It looks bad, whether Tara has IC reasons for yay happy or not.

Rape is not a topic I like to discuss. Ever. It raises my blood pressure, it makes me testy, and last night I was honest to god clenching my jaw about the whole subject. No matter what Shane says, my reaction was not knee-jerk. In fact, I'd phrase everything the exact same way now. The mood coupled with the topic is one thing. The fact that it comes on the heels of the whole Angel situation doesn't help (see Rory's IC reaction for explanation of that). I did not read the Tara bit with Crowley because of the warning. I had trouble reading the Angel-Rory bit because of the subject matter. When 1 in 4 girls are the victim of rape/sexual abuse/assault by the time they're in college, it's going to be one of those subjects that are going to get people fuming, especially when it's brought up casually, for discussion. I know you talked about your own experiences, and while I've never been raped myself, I've held the hands of way too many of my friends through this sort of thing to not find the manner of the questioning or the questions themselves acceptable, especially for a game that's supposed to be fun. I do not like sending my character to class and getting stressed about it. And coming on the heels of the master/slave assignment that I had massive problems with (and really, if Quinn had been the slave, she would have raised IC hell then, and the fact that she wasn't was the only reason she or I went through with it), where I saw you say OOCly that you hadn't expected it to become such a big thing, the fact that we're now discussing this honestly kind of boggles.

So that's where I'm coming from.

*I've held the hands of way too many of my friends through this sort of thing to not find the manner of the questioning or the questions themselves acceptable,

Should be unacceptable. It's early.

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