Detention

[spyprincipal.livejournal.com]

Dean Bristow stands in an empty and unprogrammed Danger Shop. "Mr. Williams has yet to arrive, so I'll be your Detention person until such time as he does. Please sign in below."

Known detentions:
conathon
master_of_fear
maias_notebook
neptune_wallace
julian_lawless
studentwillow

Comments

Lecture: Zombies Are Not Your Friends and Loved Ones

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

*Ash clears his throat, and the interior of the Danger shop shimmers away and is replaced with a dark, sullen graveyard*

Pull up a tombstone, kids. This is gonna be a happy, happy time.

*clears throat*

When throughout the course of zombie events, you may find yourself confronted by your mother, father, brother, sister, pet goat, or other associate, in handy dandy creepified zombie form.

Here is a key lesson, kiddos. They ain't them. They're just a shambling, rambling, gonna nibble on your gray matter zombie. They don't love you, they love the taste of your flesh. You might as well abandon all hope that the process is reversible, or that there is some tiny glimmer of who they once were in their eyes. They're walking meat sacs, looking to eat you, and if you're unlucky, turn you into one as well.

Now, how do you get rid of the inevitable stupid shiny humanistic feelings towards people who look like your mom, for example? You use the likeness to your advantage. You remember all that your mom ever did mean to you, like, steal your action figures, or force you to walk around crying all day because she refuses to pull the one inch splinter out of your butt cheek, or made you watch Golden Girls. That's some serious rage material. And you bring up all that rage, and you HIT 'EM! Or, if you're lucky enough, you shoot 'em right in the brain!

...this is not me advocating violence to your parents, kids. This is solely in the case of Zombies. If any of you shoot your parents and blame my lecture? You and Me have a personal date with Locker 327, that I will definitely not stand you up for, got it? *sips coffee*

Any questions, punks?

Re: Lecture: Zombies Are Not Your Friends and Loved Ones

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia sits on a cross tombstone nodding in agreement with the lecture. She had experienced the zombie weekend and had no questions about their grotesque features. She also had no problem shooting them.

Re: Lecture: Zombies Are Not Your Friends and Loved Ones

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

"Is it a definite fact that nothing can make zombies be unzombified sir? or is it simply a case of better safe than sorry?" Jonathan chirps.

Re: Lecture: Zombies Are Not Your Friends and Loved Ones

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

There's a possibility involving quick and effective amputation to prevent zombification, but that's very, very risky. Better safe than sorry in an emergency situation, I say.

Re: Lecture: Zombies Are Not Your Friends and Loved Ones

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

"Thank you for the clarification sir, should zombies ever return to FandomHigh, I'm glad I'll be able to defend myself."

Re: Lecture: Zombies Are Not Your Friends and Loved Ones

[conathon.livejournal.com]

Sawyer listens intently to the lecture that Coach Ash is giving them. He looks really interested in what the man has to say.