fandomhigh | What was the School Board thinking blah blah blah

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madrox

What was the School Board thinking blah blah blah

When the students entered the dangershop they would find that the shop had been transformed into a mad scientist's lab. Complete with Jamie duplicates. In lab coats again.

"Welcome back students," Jamie said his hair looking... almost normal. Definitely a few shades darker than normal and closely cropped to his head. "Today we are going to answer one of the most difficult questions asked throughout time..."

He paused for dramatic effect. Then thought it needed more drama so he paused more. Now it was too much. Oh well.

"That question? Simple. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop."

Jamie sighed in delight. "Now the world will finally know."

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Who is probably all about scientific experiments. As long as they don't involve her brother.

Absolutely.

"You know, if we could measure the amount of dissolving power in an average human lick, we could create a licking machine to figure this out way more efficiently."

Perhaps too much about scientific experiments, really.

"And you could make a machine that produces saliva and licks?"

...

"For some reason that creeps me out."

"You standing around staring at my classmates licking lollipops seems a bit creepier, to me."

"... I'm counting," Jamie protested. "And it's for science!"

"Dude, your scientific method kind of sucks. Where's your control group? Did you test the PH balance of everyone's mouths, first? How are you accounting for variables between flavors?"

"What's my control group supposed to be? Someone not licking a Tootsie roll?" Jamie countered. "And I'm using the variables between flavors as a sampling data."

Don't mock the lab coat. Jamie know one or two things. Mostly. Hush.

Claudia tilted her head, then nodded at her classmates. "What flavor does Mercy have, then? How does your hypothesis account for the way that ester varies from the one in Warren's tootsie roll pop? Come to think of it, what is your hypothesis, anyway?"

~~"No one came to my house for treats so I needed to get rid of the candy."~~

"That the owl is stupid and it doesn't take three licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop!"

Claudia stared at him for a long moment.

"And you call yourself a scientist."

"I said this was for science. I didn't say I was a scientist," Jamie said lamely. "Besides, haven't you ever wondered what the answer was?"

"344," Claudia said, looking somewhat sheepish.

Honestly, she may have bitten it. She'd been five.

"... What flavor?" Jamie asked as he pulled up his trusty clipboard.

"Cherry."

"pH level?"

"I don't have my records memorized, dude."

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What was the School Board thinking blah blah blah

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