Paranormal Activity

[nojackassfile.livejournal.com]

"Welcome back, guys. Glad to see you're all your own age again," Alaric remarked with a smirk. "I bet you'll be glad to get back to the student life after spending the weekend as adults."

Oh, Ric, no they weren't.



"So today we're gonna cover the succubus, the plural of which being succubai. It's one of those Latin words, yes. It comes from the word meaning strumpet which is...oddly appropriate," he had to admit. "Succubai are female demons that seduce men to either try to kill them or collect their semen. Before you girls breathe a sigh of relief, there's a male version as well, known as an incubus."

Alaric launched into a lecture about succubai and incubai and, no, he didn't stop sparing details like the fact that incubai had really cold penises and that succubai had spikes in their vagina to punish adulterers. He also described how they attacked and famous cases of succubai or incubai assaults. He then described the five ways that they can be dealt with: exorcism, confession, excommunication, the sign of the cross and just getting the hell out of the way.

"Right, now that everyone is thoroughly uncomfortable, I'm going to distract you with a pop quiz," he said. Wow, he was evil. "Basically all you have to do is tell me one thing you've learned in the semester so far and you pass. And you also get candy."

Candy totally made up for the trauma he just passed out.

Comments

Sign In

[nojackassfile.livejournal.com]

Seducing somebody.

Re: Sign In

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

Caroline Forbes

Re: Sign In

[therewaslife]

Nobody Owens

Listen to the Lecture

[nojackassfile.livejournal.com]

Try not to be too traumatized.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[therewaslife]

The lecture was a little wince inducing and Bod decided he didn't really want to meet one of these...things. His life was complicated enough without them. They could do their thing and he'd do his.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[notlikejack.livejournal.com]

Bobby was focusing on his desk very, very closely. Focusing on the desk meant that he didn't have to meet anyone's eyes during that lecture and possibly actually set something on fire by blushing too hard.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

Seriously, Caroline thought the most entertaining part of class was watching Bobby's neck turn redder and redder.

No wonder he became a priest in some other world.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[vanillajello]

Kate was choosing to look decidedly unimpressed throughout this entire lecture, yes. Everyone else could wince for her.

She'd twitch if this ended up giving her nightmares, though.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[notmyownage]

Please, Claudia was taking sex ed from Sherlock Holmes. Sex demons were nothing compared to that.

And she was sure she'd read that cold dick thing somewhere in fanfiction before.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[showmetheproof.livejournal.com]

"So, do you remember why we were planning on using a magic mirror and some kind of disco light to defeat aliens, Sunday night?" Scully asked.

She'd woken up in the middle of about a hundred papers of Fighting the Future (Alien Invasion) plans.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[showmetheproof.livejournal.com]

Scully was just looking ironic. And thinking that Mulder would find the one succubi in a crowd, should they ever be within five miles of one.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[trigons_child]

Raven was actually taking careful notes. She had to wonder if her brother was an incubus, given that Jacob claimed Lust as his sin.

Pop Quiz

[nojackassfile.livejournal.com]

Give one fact, any fact at all. And then grab candy.

Re: Pop Quiz

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

Yeah, good luck getting Caroline to just write a fact. What she had learned turned into a page-long rant about vampires that strangely related right back to her personal experiences over the weekend.

Odd how that worked.

Re: Pop Quiz

[notmyownage]

Digging up graves takes a really long time. But it's kinda required if you wanna salt and burn a ghost. There. That should earn her some candy.

Re: Pop Quiz

[showmetheproof.livejournal.com]

Scully resisted from giving more than one fact-- she'd learned a bit in here-- and stuck with the facts about the dragon she'd had to research.

Re: Pop Quiz

[trigons_child]

"I learned about vervain tea and how drinking it may incapacitate some vampires who drink your blood," Raven said.

And she totally hadn't taken to drinking it frequently. Really.

Re: Pop Quiz

[notlikejack.livejournal.com]

Bobby seriously needed candy. So he wrote a long-winded paragraph on bows & arrows and how movies weren't the best way to research.

Re: Pop Quiz

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

I wrote a report about Cerberus. Who is the three-headed dog that guards Hell. Also I found out that there are all kinds of weird fucking people here. And I mean that nicely. It makes me feel like less of a freak. Plus there's a kind of tea that vampires hate and the name had a lot of V's in it.

Re: Pop Quiz

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen recapped some of her report, but passed on the candy.

Talk to the TA

[nojackassfile.livejournal.com]

Once she pings in.

Re: Talk to the TA

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

Oh God, this was totally the lecture Caroline needed today.

Really.

She worked hard to listen to the lecture just in case someone asked her about it later. Though really, why would they want to?

Talk to Alaric

[nojackassfile.livejournal.com]

He was there, eating candy.

OOC

[nojackassfile.livejournal.com]

Feel free to handwave the quiz. I wish I could handwave this paper I have to write.

Re: OOC

[therewaslife]

Write the paper, Sam. Jake Abel is counting on you.