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fandomhigh2011-04-05 09:09 am
nojackassfile.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2011-04-05 09:09 am
Entry tags:
Paranormal Activity
"Welcome back, guys. Glad to see you're all your own age again," Alaric remarked with a smirk. "I bet you'll be glad to get back to the student life after spending the weekend as adults."
Oh, Ric, no they weren't.
"So today we're gonna cover the succubus, the plural of which being succubai. It's one of those Latin words, yes. It comes from the word meaning strumpet which is...oddly appropriate," he had to admit. "Succubai are female demons that seduce men to either try to kill them or collect their semen. Before you girls breathe a sigh of relief, there's a male version as well, known as an incubus."
Alaric launched into a lecture about succubai and incubai and, no, he didn't stop sparing details like the fact that incubai had really cold penises and that succubai had spikes in their vagina to punish adulterers. He also described how they attacked and famous cases of succubai or incubai assaults. He then described the five ways that they can be dealt with: exorcism, confession, excommunication, the sign of the cross and just getting the hell out of the way.
"Right, now that everyone is thoroughly uncomfortable, I'm going to distract you with a pop quiz," he said. Wow, he was evil. "Basically all you have to do is tell me one thing you've learned in the semester so far and you pass. And you also get candy."
Candy totally made up for the trauma he just passed out.
Oh, Ric, no they weren't.
"So today we're gonna cover the succubus, the plural of which being succubai. It's one of those Latin words, yes. It comes from the word meaning strumpet which is...oddly appropriate," he had to admit. "Succubai are female demons that seduce men to either try to kill them or collect their semen. Before you girls breathe a sigh of relief, there's a male version as well, known as an incubus."
Alaric launched into a lecture about succubai and incubai and, no, he didn't stop sparing details like the fact that incubai had really cold penises and that succubai had spikes in their vagina to punish adulterers. He also described how they attacked and famous cases of succubai or incubai assaults. He then described the five ways that they can be dealt with: exorcism, confession, excommunication, the sign of the cross and just getting the hell out of the way.
"Right, now that everyone is thoroughly uncomfortable, I'm going to distract you with a pop quiz," he said. Wow, he was evil. "Basically all you have to do is tell me one thing you've learned in the semester so far and you pass. And you also get candy."
Candy totally made up for the trauma he just passed out.
Re: Listen to the Lecture
She'd twitch if this ended up giving her nightmares, though.