fandomhigh | What NOT To Do In A Fight / Period III / Week 9 (Atreides/Deadpool)

The class was ~~handwavily~~ told to meet up in the dangershop today. The dangershop that mysteriously looked like a bumper car set up from a fair.

"We apologize for missing class last week," Ghanima began smoothly. "I was indisposed-" which was a polite way of saying she'd had a precognative migraine and spent the week cursing the name of Atreides, "-and...I don't actually know what Mr. Wilson's excuse is."

Deadpool shrugged. “Free tacos on the mainland.” THAT COUNTED.

Ghanima bit down on a sigh and turned back to the students. "So today, we go back to your lesson of moving and shooting, and how impractical it was. Today, we look at driving a vechile while in combat."

“In that sassy Paul Walker/Vin Diesel ‘we’re not gay, but we just have these feelings that we can’t explain’ sort of way,” Deadpool continued, poking at one of the cars. “I mean, seriously, have you guys watched those movies? They make your average comic book seem like it’s not thinly veiled homoerotic metaphor that makes your average teenage boy feel better about their own scary feelings for Ratman’s ass that you could bounce quarters off of.”

Ghanima gave him a strange look. "That seems like a poor use for quarters."

“It’s better than all those years of therapy they’ll need to go through,” Deadpool replied cheerfully. “So! Who wants to see what happens when you try shooting at something while moving really, really fast?”

A beat.

“When you’re not awesome like Ghanima or I, that it.”

"There's a number of phrases for this sort of combat," Ghanima continued. "Car Fu, which uses the car as a weapon. There's mounted combat, on a horse, and that horse is NOT going to stand still calmly like in the movies."

Those poor horses...

“And there is the need for some mad improbably aiming skills when you’re driving or riding on a horse.” Deadpool frowned. “Who rides a horse anymore? Other than Fraser.”

"I do not know; I only drive 'thopters or ride worms," Ghanima replied with a shrug. "But none of you are badass drivers, and burning rubber isn't going to get you out of the fight alive. The car will not escape with not a scratch on it, and shooting the fuel tank does not work."

Deadpool had to think about that last one. “Unless you’re in a genre that is filled with those cliches. Happens all the time back home,” he said. “Oh, cliches. I love them so much. It’s how I managed to got mailed FedEx after a failed job.”

"Unless they dismembered you, you would not fit in a mailbox well." Now Ghanima was considering the best way to carve you up, Wade. And it's not the fun-kinky way, either. "Irrelevant. We have bumper cars, and you can try and drive and shoot, or have someone else be your getaway driver."

“It’s fun!” Deadpool informed the class, shooting Ghanima with a Nerf gun.

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So fast... so furious...

Karla

Ben Skywalker

Leo Valdez

Kennedy

Momoko Akatsutsumi

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And curse the name of TV Tropes!

Ben, as usual, had very little idea what Deadpool was talking about, but kind of wanted to find the movie now. It sounded astral!

Jaime frowned thoughtfully. And took a moment to be grateful for the Scarab's ability for aiming assistance. That made things a lot easier when moving.

Then he leaned back and glanced around, half-listened as he eyed his fellow students.

If Scarab was all that good, it'd be warning Jaime right now. Possibly with something akin to the Jaws theme, as Karla beelined over to him.

"So," she said, folding her arms across her chest, Dinah's voice still ringing in her ears. "Jaime. We meet again."

You are so doomed, Jaime. So. Doomed.

Jaime blinked.

"Um... yeah?"

Why was there a shiver running down his spine? It was only Karla!

Oh, wait. That might explain it.

"I hear tell you've been...busy," she added, giving him a cool look.

"Um... I guess I have?"

Busy was good, right? Unless she meant something bad by 'busy'. Wait... did she mean something bad? OH CRAP! WAS THIS GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE CONVERSATIONS?

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While Momoko was used to aiming at things while she or they were moving, she was still fuming over the stupid drones in Centurion's class he other day. Also, she'd never tried shooting from a car. She was totally blaming Triela if she didn't do well here.

James listened to the lecture. Horses, at least, could fend for themselves, though temperamental at times. Cars...he was less sure of.

BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR. YES, I’M GONNA BE A STAR.

Momoko was a bit excited to be in a bumper car. She was going to be her own driver, at least at first. Totally more control that way.

She was driving the circuit, her nerf gun at the ready and looking for anyone silly enough to be within range.

Edited 2011-03-10 03:32 (UTC)

James was not used to driving a car. Horses he had a more-than-passing familiarity with (and the resulting saddlesores), but these cars, though small, seemed to be tricky. His Nerf gunne lay untouched until he could figure out the controls.

Uh, sorry about any accidental bumps.

"Hi, James!" Momoko laughed as she pressed her GO pedal and aimed her gun at him.

Sorry about any intentional nerf-shot heading towards the side of your head.

"Hi, Momo--" He whipped his head back to avoid a Nerf dart--a very close Nerf dart--and twisted in the seat a bit. In doing so, he turned the wheel and jammed his foot on the gas pedal.

The vehicle charged into action at a furious walking pace right at Momoko. Look out!

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When they ping in.

Ghanima was there, if anyone had any questions.

Deadpool, of course, was also there. With a Nerf gun.

With James bouncing and swerving all over the place, one of Momoko's attempts to nerf him out of his misery went a bit wild and headed for Professor Deadpool.

Oops.

Of course, it may be noticed that Momoko didn't call out a warning to him as she reloaded and took off after James again.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

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