The Science of Sexuality, Monday

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

Fortunately for both the students and John this week, there were no anatomically correct drawings of the subject on the board. If only because Sherlock couldn't be bothered to deal with this part of the subject matter.

"Today," John said, trying desperately not to look horribly stereotypically English and uncomfortable about it all, "We'll be discussing, ah, forms of... engaging with your partner that don't involve penetration, making the risk of accidental pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases smaller than in regular intercourse. We'll... be going into the anatomy of it all next week. This week, we'd like you all to sit down and discuss how, er, viable you find these forms of copulation."

Save him, Sherlock.

John was an utter coward about the silliest of things.

"Since we are aware that the majority of you will no doubt engage in sexual activity these are, as previously said, the safer alternatives. The safest being phone sex. Or texting, or 'cybersex'. As your desired partner is not with you, there is little to no chance of exchanging bodily fluids," Sherlock said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Beyond that, there is heavy petting and frottage. Both of which are what you disease infested little monsters seem to do instead of dancing."

He was just so kind!

John was a doctor. He was fine with the essentials of all of this; he just wasn't built to speak to a group of teenagers about it. Still, he was going to try it. "The latter still comes with its fair share of risks, of course," he said - look, that, he was comfortable talking about - "Especially in the case of such conditions as herpes and genital warts. Also keep in mind that even a stray drop of fluid can lead to a pregnancy, meaning that this is not an excuse not to wear a rubber."

"Even more risky of the forms of 'safer sex' are interfemoral intercourse and mutual masturbation," Sherlock continued as though giving a lecture on the properties of blood on different fabrics. Which he had done once, much to the annoyance of DI Lestrade.

"Interfemoral meaning between the thighs, but without penetration." John had a feeling there was a certain zone of zen for this manner of lecture that he just couldn't reach. "Increasing the risk of possible pregnancy, as well as forms of STDs that involve some contact with the sexual organs." There was a reason he was terribly glad Sherlock had decided to go without the drawings today. They could leave the drawings to the internet, thank you. "Likewise for mutual masturbation. I suggest you make sure everything is as sanitized as it can be."

At least they weren't bickering today?

Somehow that was what got Sherlock to grin. "Or you could end up like one unfortunate fellow in Clerkenwell." It was a distinct possibility that only one person in the room got the joke.

The mildly uncomfortable expression on John's face vanished to make place for amusement that was really only barely contained. "And having your-- liquids-- tested--" he tried.

At which point he lapsed into a brief, sedate burst of giggles chuckles.

Dear lord, were they both giggling like schoolgirls chuckling? "Now, John, that was a perfectly standard test."

"Yes--" John said, attempting to get his snickering under control, "So that's-- today's lesson-- don't wind up in a position where you need a standard test--" He pressed his palm to his mouth. "...Sherlock, we're teaching." They shouldn't be giggling while they were teaching.

John coughed. Yes. Let's get to it.

[[ academic terminology for sexual acts behind the cut. Open, have at! ]]

Comments

Sign In

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

Like you're on the outside.

Re: Sign In

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

Princess Ariel

Re: Sign In

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

Nathan Young

Re: Sign In

[icecoldfrost]

Emma Frost

Listen to the Lecture

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

Ignore the inappropriate giggles.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

See, this sort of display was just giving Nathan's 'oh they are so doing it' theory more credence. And the giggling was a little infectious which meant he started laughing just because, well, he liked laughing.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

Being a mermaid and everything, sexual activity without penetration was taken as a given up until becoming human, though the human interpretation of such activities were still pretty fascinating for Ariel.

Not that she knew much about the mermaid version of doing things, either, beyond the whispering giggles that came with having six older sisters. But Ariel was certainly determined to act more experienced and knowledgeable.

It still wasn't fair, though, their giggling chuckling. It just had Ariel snorting and having to clear her throat a little to keep herself from following suite.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Quinn narrowed her eyes a bit as she listened. She was sort of a grinding expert -- look, technical virginity was important -- but it was weird to have it discussed all clinically.

Also, interfemerol? That sounded like an invitation to play "oops, I slipped."

Not that they'd asked her.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[glacial_queen]

Oh. Of course. They had to learn about all the other activities now that the pants rule had been abolished.

On the other hand, some of the ones listed anyway--like interfemoral--would have required no pants anyway, so...

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[icecoldfrost]

Right. Emma was just going to bang her head against the desk, in an attempt to spontaneously develop the ability to set people on fire WITH HER BRAIN.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

"Are you quite done with your little display, Ms Frost?" Sherlock asked, focus shifting from the source of his amusement over toward her with a lazy roll of his eyes.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[theotherpeter.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. The inappropriate giggles were the most pertinent part.

These teachers really were something else, Peter thought.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

Bruce could have done without the giggling, but the topic was interesting if relatively elementary.

Ahem.

He was still taking detailed notes.

Discuss!

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

Find a partner and, er, talk about the subject matter.

Or what might have happened in Clerkenwell.

Re: Discuss!

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

Nathan considered himself something of an expert in all things (even if he wasn't) so he tapped his pen idly against the desk while waiting for a partner.

Re: Discuss!

[glacial_queen]

In all honesty, this was probably not the best conversation to have with a stranger, especially not a strange male. But Karla was distracted by the sight of her teachers practically tittering, and had turned to Nathan with a wry grin. "If we wait long enough, do you think they'll share the joke?"

Re: Discuss!

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

Well, this was going to be...interesting to discuss. As Ariel looked around for a partner, she couldn't help thinking, girl, girl, pair up with a girl.

Sure, it'll most likely wind up ending with nothing but a giggling mass of giggling giggles, but that would be a bit more fun than how it could turn out otherwise...

Re: Discuss!

[angelo_wings]

At least it would be a fun giggling mass?

"Intrafemoral?" Rinoa asked, by way of starting the conversation. "Are they joking? Why would anyone ..."

Re: Discuss!

[theotherpeter.livejournal.com]

Knowing he couldn't possibly team up with Ariel without making some severely inappropriate fish jokes, he decided to look around for a partner for a discussion that wouldn't end with him getting slapped or worse.

Re: Discuss!

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

As long as Helen wasn't stuck with Nathan she wasn't particularly picky about a partner. So, rolling her eyes at her teachers, she turned and nodded at Peter. "Did you want to partner up?"

Re: Discuss!

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

Despite Bruce's tendency to go big or go home and wait until he could go big later (so to speak...), he had some thoughts on this subject to share with a partner, certainly.

Talk to the Teachers

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

When they've calmed down a bit.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

John was composed, now. Honest!

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

They were the height of formality. As long as Sherlock looked nowhere near John. Oh, shut up. He was allowed.

OOC

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

New Being Human today, om nom.