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fandomhigh2011-01-24 05:34 pm
justhisblogger.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2011-01-24 05:34 pm
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The Science of Sexuality, Monday
Fortunately for both the students and John this week, there were no anatomically correct drawings of the subject on the board. If only because Sherlock couldn't be bothered to deal with this part of the subject matter.
"Today," John said, trying desperately not to look horribly stereotypically English and uncomfortable about it all, "We'll be discussing, ah, forms of... engaging with your partner that don't involve penetration, making the risk of accidental pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases smaller than in regular intercourse. We'll... be going into the anatomy of it all next week. This week, we'd like you all to sit down and discuss how, er, viable you find these forms of copulation."
Save him, Sherlock.
John was an utter coward about the silliest of things.
"Since we are aware that the majority of you will no doubt engage in sexual activity these are, as previously said, the safer alternatives. The safest being phone sex. Or texting, or 'cybersex'. As your desired partner is not with you, there is little to no chance of exchanging bodily fluids," Sherlock said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Beyond that, there is heavy petting and frottage. Both of which are what you disease infested little monsters seem to do instead of dancing."
He was just so kind!
John was a doctor. He was fine with the essentials of all of this; he just wasn't built to speak to a group of teenagers about it. Still, he was going to try it. "The latter still comes with its fair share of risks, of course," he said - look, that, he was comfortable talking about - "Especially in the case of such conditions as herpes and genital warts. Also keep in mind that even a stray drop of fluid can lead to a pregnancy, meaning that this is not an excuse not to wear a rubber."
"Even more risky of the forms of 'safer sex' are interfemoral intercourse and mutual masturbation," Sherlock continued as though giving a lecture on the properties of blood on different fabrics. Which he had done once, much to the annoyance of DI Lestrade.
"Interfemoral meaning between the thighs, but without penetration." John had a feeling there was a certain zone of zen for this manner of lecture that he just couldn't reach. "Increasing the risk of possible pregnancy, as well as forms of STDs that involve some contact with the sexual organs." There was a reason he was terribly glad Sherlock had decided to go without the drawings today. They could leave the drawings to the internet, thank you. "Likewise for mutual masturbation. I suggest you make sure everything is as sanitized as it can be."
At least they weren't bickering today?
Somehow that was what got Sherlock to grin. "Or you could end up like one unfortunate fellow in Clerkenwell." It was a distinct possibility that only one person in the room got the joke.
The mildly uncomfortable expression on John's face vanished to make place for amusement that was really only barely contained. "And having your-- liquids-- tested--" he tried.
At which point he lapsed into a brief, sedate burst ofgiggles chuckles.
Dear lord, were they bothgiggling like schoolgirls chuckling? "Now, John, that was a perfectly standard test."
"Yes--" John said, attempting to get his snickering under control, "So that's-- today's lesson-- don't wind up in a position where you need a standard test--" He pressed his palm to his mouth. "...Sherlock, we're teaching." They shouldn't be giggling while they were teaching.
John coughed. Yes. Let's get to it.
[[ academic terminology for sexual acts behind the cut. Open, have at! ]]
"Today," John said, trying desperately not to look horribly stereotypically English and uncomfortable about it all, "We'll be discussing, ah, forms of... engaging with your partner that don't involve penetration, making the risk of accidental pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases smaller than in regular intercourse. We'll... be going into the anatomy of it all next week. This week, we'd like you all to sit down and discuss how, er, viable you find these forms of copulation."
Save him, Sherlock.
John was an utter coward about the silliest of things.
"Since we are aware that the majority of you will no doubt engage in sexual activity these are, as previously said, the safer alternatives. The safest being phone sex. Or texting, or 'cybersex'. As your desired partner is not with you, there is little to no chance of exchanging bodily fluids," Sherlock said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Beyond that, there is heavy petting and frottage. Both of which are what you disease infested little monsters seem to do instead of dancing."
He was just so kind!
John was a doctor. He was fine with the essentials of all of this; he just wasn't built to speak to a group of teenagers about it. Still, he was going to try it. "The latter still comes with its fair share of risks, of course," he said - look, that, he was comfortable talking about - "Especially in the case of such conditions as herpes and genital warts. Also keep in mind that even a stray drop of fluid can lead to a pregnancy, meaning that this is not an excuse not to wear a rubber."
"Even more risky of the forms of 'safer sex' are interfemoral intercourse and mutual masturbation," Sherlock continued as though giving a lecture on the properties of blood on different fabrics. Which he had done once, much to the annoyance of DI Lestrade.
"Interfemoral meaning between the thighs, but without penetration." John had a feeling there was a certain zone of zen for this manner of lecture that he just couldn't reach. "Increasing the risk of possible pregnancy, as well as forms of STDs that involve some contact with the sexual organs." There was a reason he was terribly glad Sherlock had decided to go without the drawings today. They could leave the drawings to the internet, thank you. "Likewise for mutual masturbation. I suggest you make sure everything is as sanitized as it can be."
At least they weren't bickering today?
Somehow that was what got Sherlock to grin. "Or you could end up like one unfortunate fellow in Clerkenwell." It was a distinct possibility that only one person in the room got the joke.
The mildly uncomfortable expression on John's face vanished to make place for amusement that was really only barely contained. "And having your-- liquids-- tested--" he tried.
At which point he lapsed into a brief, sedate burst of
Dear lord, were they both
"Yes--" John said, attempting to get his snickering under control, "So that's-- today's lesson-- don't wind up in a position where you need a standard test--" He pressed his palm to his mouth. "...Sherlock, we're teaching." They shouldn't be giggling while they were teaching.
John coughed. Yes. Let's get to it.
[[ academic terminology for sexual acts behind the cut. Open, have at! ]]
Re: Discuss!
Said the girl who was too chickenshit to have gone there yet.
Re: Discuss!
"You and Squall haven't....have you?" she asked, with all the appropriate girly teasing and nudging in her voice.
Re: Discuss!
"Not even close," she said. "I mean, not that I haven't, you know, thought about it?"
Because Squall had an on switch. Once that was flipped, he could go from apathy to pinning-you-to-the-bed-and-grinding in way less than 60 seconds.
"I almost did, with my ex," she confessed. "But I kind of thought it'd be a bad idea. We just ... fooled around."
In ways that did not include anybody's 'interfemoral.'
Re: Discuss!
Oh, goodness, the giggles were not going anywhere.
"Your ex before you came here? Or someone here that you were totally holding back on me about?"
Re: Discuss!
She was now digging her cell phone out of her purse. Cell phones may not work back home, but computers did, and once she got a cell phone here, she had totally moved some of her pictures onto it.
"Seifer," she said, still showing a trace of fondness in her voice. "Trouble. But the good kind. Usually."
Re: Discuss!
And hoped Rinoa would forgive her and chalk it up to the giggling disposition class had put them in for her little laugh.
"Man," she said. "And I thought Squall was Mr. Serious Business. If it weren't for Christian, I'd almost say you had a type, Rinoa."
Re: Discuss!
"Big difference," she said. "Seifer knew exactly how good he looked, and was holding the pose so everyone else could see."
She was going to sidestep the matter of 'type.' Ariel didn't need to know that the two of them were both mercenaries.
Re: Discuss!
Re: Discuss!
Both scars had looked fresh, at graduation.
She shook her head, this time allowing a smile to play over her lips. "He's larger than life," she said. "He smiles, he laughs, he screams, he dances ... he's so cocky, but I think he's got a good heart under it all."
Which stung, a little, to think of now. He was under Ultimecia's spell; that meant he was working for the enemy. Dammit, Seifer.
Re: Discuss!