fandomhigh | Ethics [Tuesday, April 6, 2nd period]

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Ethics [Tuesday, April 6, 2nd period]

"Much of life--especially in the realm of ethics--is about balance," Anakin began, making a show of not looking concerned that the seat Leia normally filled was empty today. "For every vice there is a virtue. We have covered the seven deadly sins--" he began ticking them off on his fingers: "Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride. We've also discussed some of the seven virtues: temperance, which balanced gluttony, and diligence, which balanced sloth."

He began pacing the room. "The key to living these virtues is restraint, which is a very Jedi concept. We've already briefly touched upon chastity in our talk of love, so that leaves us with charity, patience, kindness and humility."

None of which exactly described Anakin. "Which of those four do you have the easiest time embracing in your own life?" he asked. "And which requires work? Do you think it's worth learning restraint to live these virtues?"

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Who is trying to learn patience.

Zack was still a bit anxious to get back to the weapons locker to retrieve the Buster Sword, but it wasn't as though anybody was going to take off with it without him. It would be okay. See? Stuff was okay.

He'd keep telling himself that as he stepped up to Anakin after class.

"You, uh... Wanted to talk to me?"

Anakin nodded, trying to look as unthreatening as possible (no easy feat for a man who glared as a default expression). "I wanted to see if you were interested in talking about your weekend somewhere without as many people around."

Zack had kind of figured it was something like that. Heck, he probably needed to just blurt it all out to somebody, sooner or later. He was sleeping outside so that he wouldn't have to spend more than an hour or so at a time away from a sword.

Still, he gave his shoulders a small shrug while his insides tried to tie themselves into knots.

"It's a long story," he cautioned after a moment. And he wasn't entirely certain he'd be able to make it all of the way through, at that.

"I'm made of time," Anakin replied with a tiny smile. "Would you like to sit down?"

Zack shook his head, no. And then bit his lip, and then nodded a yes and reached for a nearby chair. Every now and again, he had the capacity to exercise his better judgment. It wasn't often, but it did happen.

"I'm not entirely sure where to start. I guess... Have you met my teacher from back home? He... He was here, over parent's weekend."

"I did," Anakin said, nodding. "Angeal, correct?"

There was a bit of a lump in Zack's throat that needed to be swallowed before he could nod again and reply.

"Angeal, yeah." ... Yeah. "He deserted a while back. Not... Not really deserted. He was trying to find a friend, who had, and things got bad, and then worse, and then he did desert but he came back and left again and there were wings and he thought he was a monster but he wasn't and, and--"

... Okay, Zack. Once more, but coherently?

"He wanted me to kill him."

Anakin blinked rapidly before scooting his own chair closer. "Did you?" he asked softly.

Breathe. Breathe. In and out. It wasn't difficult. Okay. Okay.

"I didn't want to," Zack mumbled, eyes shut tightly and arms crossed over his chest as though maybe he'd just explode if he didn't curl up a little. "He... attacked two of my friends. Threatened to go after more people if I didn't."

And Zack had still made the attempt to reason with him.

"But... But then he did become a monster. And... I mean... I had to."

Anakin reached a hand out toward Zack's shoulder, easily avoided if Zack wasn't feeling up for contact just yet.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I've been there, and I'm sorry."

Zack was absolutely okay with the contact. He thrived on it, really. A hand on the shoulder was just a little more proof that he wasn't alone.

He nodded a little, sitting in silence for a moment before looking up.

"What do I do now?"

"Learn how to live with it," Anakin said quietly. "Remember the good things, don't dwell on the negative. Try to get some sleep."

And another small nod while Zack hung on those words, clinging to them for all he was worth.

Live. Remember. Sleep. It was good advice.

"Thank you."

"And find someone to talk to," Anakin added. "This sort of thing will poison you from the inside if you try to shut it aside."

Zack nodded a little more, attempting a tiny smile on for size.

"Ino's been good for that," he replied. "She's been staying with me at night, outside."

"Why outside?" Anakin asked, brows furrowing.

Deep breath. Shrug.

"Angeal gave me his sword," Zack admitted. And the dorms, with their no-weapons policy, meant that he'd have to part with it, and he didn't want to break the rules, and the weather was nice anyhow...

Anakin's heart broke just a little bit for the kid.

"Oh," he said. "I'm sure that Principal Winchester might make an exception if you'd like to sleep in the cabins for a little while..."

"Or I could pay for a hotel room for a while, or there are the warehouses or whatever that don't have anything in them," Zack added, biting his lip. "I don't really... need anyone to make exceptions to the rules for my sake. I can manage."

He was stubborn. If the weather turned sour, he might consider looking for alternatives... But that would be more for Ino's sake than his own. The elements didn't tend to bother him so much.

"Oh, young one," Anakin sighed. "It would not be an inconvenience. You're not sleeping in a warehouse."

You never knew when some evil genius would show back up and need a lair, after all.

But would some evil genius mess with a kid who wielded a six-foot sword that had to weigh about the same as a small car? That would be a very silly person, indeed.

Zack twitched a hint of a smile. "Okay, maybe not the warehouses, then."

"Or up a tree," Anakin continued, eyes sparkling a little, "or in the preserve. A soldier's life is full of terrible sleeping situations. You should take the soft bed option as often as possible here."

"Did you know that there are pillow and blanket trees in Ino's garden?"

... Which sounded weird to Zack even as he said it, yes. But it was true. Still weird. "There's, like... a little nest out there, now. It's not uncomfortable at all."

They had used a lot of pillows.

"...blanket trees?"

Way to lose focus, Anakin.

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