fandomhigh | Ethics [Tuesday, April 6, 2nd period]

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Ethics [Tuesday, April 6, 2nd period]

"Much of life--especially in the realm of ethics--is about balance," Anakin began, making a show of not looking concerned that the seat Leia normally filled was empty today. "For every vice there is a virtue. We have covered the seven deadly sins--" he began ticking them off on his fingers: "Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride. We've also discussed some of the seven virtues: temperance, which balanced gluttony, and diligence, which balanced sloth."

He began pacing the room. "The key to living these virtues is restraint, which is a very Jedi concept. We've already briefly touched upon chastity in our talk of love, so that leaves us with charity, patience, kindness and humility."

None of which exactly described Anakin. "Which of those four do you have the easiest time embracing in your own life?" he asked. "And which requires work? Do you think it's worth learning restraint to live these virtues?"

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"Worried that you might have a similar flaw?" he asked quietly.

... Ooooh. Good call, Anakin.

Zack's eyes were searching out his toes, now. They were far more interesting than his knees.

"Terrified," he admitted. "That weekend where... people were... uh. When they were other people, I mean? That alien was here." And here came the guilt, grabbing at his chest again. "She made me hurt a friend of mine. I wasn't completely me. But I was me enough."

Anakin understood that sort of guilt and fear all too well, which was why the look he was currently giving Zack was pure sympathy.

"Were there any warning signs with Angeal?" he asked.

Zack gave his head a little shake. "Nothing in particular, really. He... He left, for months and months, with no warning at all. I thought it was just because his friend was missing. I thought he just wanted to get Genesis back."

And so did they all.

"The worst was... was all at once. Nobody saw it coming, not really. But then, he was gone for a while."

"I'm sorry," Anakin repeated because some things were worth saying twice. "Do you think he might have been captured and altered?"

"I..." Zack bit his lip and glanced up slightly. "I didn't think about it much," he confessed. "I had orders to bring Genesis in. Nobody ever said why."

He winced as he did think about it. Bad move, thinking.

"'All evidence of misconduct must be erased,'" he mumbled, after a moment. "They might have altered him. Both of them. If we'd brought them in. Orders changed. We were supposed to eliminate them both."

Anakin frowned hard. "Sounds like someone's covering their tracks."

Edited 2010-04-08 22:37 (UTC)

Zack shrugged a little.

"Maybe." Yes, Zack. Absolutely. "Genesis sorta... wanted to take the world with him, though. So it makes sense they'd want to get him, right?"

There was a hopeful note in his voice, there. He had to be fighting the right fight, here. Had to. Or else what was there?

And Anakin knew that look even more. It had stared out at him from a mirror for the latter part of the Clone Wars. It went along with the mental refrain that reminded him that good people fought for good, and if you were a good person, that meant you were on the right side.

For Anakin, that had resulted in a war they couldn't win, a master manipulator, a mask and a suit. He wasn't going to think about that part.

"If you need to believe that, then yes," he said very, very softly. "But I think you're smarter than that."

There was a long silence then, while Zack lifted his hands and pressed his palms over his eyes. Which was totally normal, and didn't mean anything at all, and he was fine, honest. Never better. Really. You could tell by how he wasn't crying. He was just... catching his breath a little. But he wasn't crying.

Almost. Not quite.

"The company firebombed their hometown. Genesis and Angeal's, I mean. But... But everyone was already dead. Genesis did that. A whole village. His parents. But nobody's noticed Banora's gone. It was months ago, and nobody's noticed."

Anakin looked anguished. "Or maybe they just want people to know they've noticed. Reprisals can be a terrible thing."

Zack, meanwhile, was trying not to look as anguished as he was.

"Maybe, but I don't... I don't do that."

Which was true, to some degree. SOLDIER existed to do whatever would look the prettiest in newsprint. They had the Turks for the dirtier work.

"Which isn't the same as it doesn't happen," Anakin said quietly.

"But it doesn't have to be because of me." Protect your honor as SOLDIER. "There are still parts of my job that are... I mean... They're right."

He needed to believe that, too.

"Of course they are," Anakin assured him hurriedly. "Things have just gotten a little more complicated, that's all."

Zack gave a small nod. At least that was something that he could accept readily. "They're not about to get any simpler any time soon, are they?"

It was very much a rhetorical question. He was a SOLDIER mentally, a kid physically, a monster genetically, and beyond that he was a fighter and a lover and a killer and yes, even a puppy. Things were going to always be complicated. "Something else to sleep on, I guess."

"As long as you do sleep," Anakin said, who knew all about his grandson's insomnia.

The corners of Zack's mouth turned upwards into another wry smile.

"Ino would never let me get away with staying awake all of the time," he replied. "I sleep."

It wasn't the most restful sleep ever, but it involved closing his eyes and more or less shutting down for the night, which was close enough at a glance.

"Good," Anakin said. "Dreams are the way your mind processes trauma. Let it work."

"I can do that," Zack agreed with a nod. And then he furrowed his eyebrows and gave Anakin a questioning look. "And nightmares?"

"From what I was taught, part of the same thing," he said, looking sympathetic. "I'm sorry."

"I'll cope," Zack replied, and then he shifted his weight uneasily, trying not to look too antsy. "If I can handle real life, then a few bad dreams shouldn't keep me down for long, anyhow."

"If they do, tell me," Anakin said. "Jedi have some power over the mind. I might be able to help."

"Thank you," Zack said, once again. It kind of seemed like it was something worth repeating. "I'll try to remember that, if it becomes a problem."

There was another moment of quiet, and then a bit more fidgeting. "I probably shouldn't keep you too long, huh?"

He was starting to feel off without Angeal's sword handy.

Re: Talk to Anakin [4/6]

sith_happened - 2010-04-10 01:52 (UTC) - Expand

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