fandomhigh | Library [12/03]

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Library [12/03]

It had been almost a month since the explosion and Sam still wasn't sleeping well, so he'd headed to the library even earlier than usual today. (It was that or pretend to sleep so Illyria would have something to watch, and that still hadn't gotten less creepy.) Luckily, he'd been working in the library for so long that he could slip into autopilot when getting ready for the day, and finish everything without having to think.

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Chuck nodded. "Yeah, a snow monkey. He was a gift from a girl I used to screw. Dean's seen him."

"That's...seriously adorable," Sam said. "Is that why he's not here, 'cause he might ruin your fierce image?"

"Are you kidding me? Sweetie's awesome. Way cooler than half the people here," Chuck said. "I had him here for a while but he's more of a city monkey, I think."

"As opposed to an island monkey?" Sam said, laughing now. "I'm sorry you can't have him here, but it's nice of you to help Castiel. I think he can use all the help he can get sometimes."

"It's not like I have anything better to do," Chuck said with a shrug. "I think I can relate to him a little too much. I don't know, feels like he and I are on the same emotional level most of the time."

"Really?" Sam asked, before he could tone down the surprise in his voice. "I just meant...you know, he's an angel and all, and you're...you."

Chuck smirked. "I said emotionally, not morally. I don't know if you've noticed but we're both not the touchy feely type."

"That's true," Sam admitted. "You're both more logical, and impossible to read sometimes too." Not that Sam tried that a lot with Chuck or anything.

"Yeah, well, if there's one thing my father taught me, it's to never let people know what you're really thinking," Chuck said. "You don't want to give anybody an easy way to take you down."

That was also the moral lesson from The Godfather but it sounded much better coming out of Bart Bass' mouth.

"Maybe, but you're not always around people who want to take you down," Sam said. "Sometimes, you shouldn't have to worry about that."

"You can never be too sure. My father doesn't even trust his own brother." Probably for good reason. Uncle Jack was borderline crazy. "Besides, it's not like I have to think about it or anything. Just comes naturally by now."

"Just like I bet it does with Castiel. Although, he was probably created that way," Sam said thoughtfully. "I guess it's good that you get along with each other so well."

"It's kind of screwed up but it works," Chuck said with a shrug. It's not like he was used to having normal relationships anyway.

He took a sip of his own hot chocolate and when he spoke next, he was saying the entire thing to the cup rather than to Sam. "I know we just spent time talking about how much of a failure I am when it comes to the whole emotional thing, and that it doesn't concern me anyway, but if you wanted to talk about what was bothering you, I mean, I'll listen. I care, you know."

"I know you do," Sam said, although honestly, he hadn't been completely sure about that until Chuck had said it first. "I like talking to you because you make me think about everything else except for what's bothering me. I don't want to bring you down or anything. I'd feel bad about that."

"You shouldn't," he said. "I mean, you've listened to me talking about my emotional baggage enough. It comes with the whole friends territory. I want to do whatever makes you feel better."

Somehow, knowing that Chuck thought they were friends too made Sam feel better enough to open up.

"The guy who killed Peter is still alive," he said. "I mean, he's the one who gave Peter the power than made him explode and...I don't know, I guess I just assumed it would hurt him too. But it didn't, and he's still out there."

"Oh." Chuck still didn't exactly know to how to react to the whole people with powers thing. It seemed a lot harder to get revenge when it came to them. "So, what, you want to go after him?"

"I--yes," Sam admitted. "But I don't think it'd do any good. He's too powerful. I mean, if Peter couldn't stop him...I'm not strong enough, not like that."

Chuck frowned slightly, not exactly liking the sound of that, but he didn't want to discourage Sam from going after the guy. He didn't have any moral ground to stand on when it came to putting people off revenge. "It's not like anybody is going to let you go alone if you do decide to go after him."

"They will if I don't tell them I'm going," Sam said plainly. "Getting rid of Sylar is my responsibility, not anyone else's."

"How is it your responsibility alone? Look, I'm no great supporter of teamwork but even I know when to get help," Chuck said. "If this Sylar guy is the psycho you're making him out to be then going after him alone seems like a truly stupid and painful way to get killed."

"If I don't succeed, I don't want anyone else getting killed with me," Sam said. That might have sounded healthier in his head.

Chuck's eyes widened. "Are you listening to yourself right now? What if Dean said something like that to you?"

"Don't bring Dean into this," Sam said with a scowl. "He wouldn't understand."

"He's your brother, he's going to be brought into it whether you want it to happen or not," Chuck pointed out.

Library [12/03]

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