Bad Ash's Art Appreciation, Lecture #3

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

::"Bad" Ash stands in front of the class in his bathrobe and slippers, a clipboard in his hand. He is quietly humming "Mmmm Bop"::

::He patiently awaits for all the students to take their seats, and when he is sufficiently satisfied the students are all here, he removes his robe and stands in front of the class, wearing nothing but slippers and a smile::

"Today, we will be discussing the classical nude!" ::laugh::

"First, I welcome any other students to embrace the classical nudity as well! Today's class is clothing-optional!" ::laughs again::

"Now kids... why is the naked body so damn awesome?" ::starts doing muscle flexing poses:: "Especially the King's naked body? Why do artists usually believe that people in art should be naked? Why don't normal people believe people should be naked? And most importantly... why is it suddenly cold in here?"

"Bad" Ash stands, awaiting answers and discussion.

Comments

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

*Callisto is concentrating very hard on her notepad*

*Callisto is concentrating very hard on not revisiting her breakfast*

*Callisto is cosidering making like Oedipus and gouging out her own eyes*

*Callisto would be willing to do any of her classmates who asked her first*

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake claps a hand infront of his eyes. "Oh, god, I think I'm blind. I hope I'm blind. Please tell me I'm blind."

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

You're blind. Everyone in the room has been struck with a sudden case of blindness. We should all go to the clinic.

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

"Oh god, yes, please, let's do that!" Jake starts to get out of his chair.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's the fact that Ash is naked....

Maybe it's the fact that he just ate a grilled ham and cheese from the cafeteria.

Marty tries to look away and say something snarky, but all that comes out is him singing:


Like a bang, a boom-a-boomerang
Dum-be-dum-dum be-dum-be-dum-dum
Oh bang, a boom-a-boomerang
Love is a tune you hum-de-hum-hum


Marty is an okay singer. But is very confused.

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Lisa looks on in mock horror, but suppresses a giggle. She whispers, "Oh holy shit. I am so not kissing ass in class today. With my luck he'd take that literally."

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Lisa leans over and whispers in Marty's ear "I guess that answers the steroids question, eh?"

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty nods and tries to say something snarky but ends up singing again:


Super trouper beams are gonna blind me
But I won’t feel blue
Like I always do
’cause somewhere in the crowd there’s...


Marty frowns and looks at his half-eaten Ham and cheese sandwich.

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

"...I think my brain just broke. Thanks so much." Jake lets his head fall down on his desk, whimpering.

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

::Starts dancing when he hears the singing::

Come on, Marty! Louder! Do "S.O.S"!

Oooooh, Dancing Queen! Somebody Call Daniel Jackson, and then you should sing Dancing Queen! ::laughs, still dancing::

[harried-potter.livejournal.com]

((OOC: *scrubscrubscrub* pass that brainbleach please? *is dead*))

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

I'm with you!

*Callisto flails "blindly" as she gets up*

As soon as I figure out where you are.

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

"Are they starting an ABBA singalong, naked!? Mamma Mia is right."

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty scowls and starts to say something again... but again with the singing:


Everybody screamed when I kissed the teacher
And they must have thought they dreamed when I kissed the teacher
All my friends at school
They had never seen the teacher blush, he looked like a fool
Nearly petrified ’cos he was taken by surprise
When I kissed the teacher
Couldn’t quite believe his eyes, when I kissed the teacher
My whole class went wild


Marty slaps his hand over his mouth horrified.

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

"I am not reaching out to touch you. Who knows what I might hit on the way?"

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

::sees Callisto flailing::

Yo, TA-baby? You wantin' to dance? You can dance with the King, if you want to dance... ::continues dancing. It involves too many Elvis-style pelvis gyrations::

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

Hang on I think I found you.

*reaches out for Jake's shoulder*

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

::stops dancing::

You wanna kiss the Teacher, Marty-baby?

All you have to do is ask. ::smirks, and laughs::

[positive-angel.livejournal.com]

((ooc: makes me very glad Chihaya went to Journalism instead. *breaks out the wire brush to help))

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty looks at Lisa slightly panicking. He points at the grilled ham & cheese sandwich and then himself.


So when you’re near me, darling can’t you hear me
S. O. S.
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me
S. O. S.

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

*considers whether killing Ash is worth explusion*

*is highly tempted*

[deirdreofamber.livejournal.com]

*sits in class rather dumbfounded, unable to speak. Lays head on desk and might have passed out*

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Lisa looks concerned. She jokes around with Marty, but she has a strange affection for the kid. "Marty, are you okay? Is it the sandwich? Something in the sandwich?" She gets up and kneels in front of him, looking him over for physical signs of illness.

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake feels someone touching him and spins around, slightly fearful. "Oh, thank god, it's you." He clutches Callisto's hand tightly. "I'm... very, very scared now."

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

::steps over next to Callisto and Jake::

You two not wantin' to join the discussion?