Bad Ash's Art Appreciation, Lecture #3

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

::"Bad" Ash stands in front of the class in his bathrobe and slippers, a clipboard in his hand. He is quietly humming "Mmmm Bop"::

::He patiently awaits for all the students to take their seats, and when he is sufficiently satisfied the students are all here, he removes his robe and stands in front of the class, wearing nothing but slippers and a smile::

"Today, we will be discussing the classical nude!" ::laugh::

"First, I welcome any other students to embrace the classical nudity as well! Today's class is clothing-optional!" ::laughs again::

"Now kids... why is the naked body so damn awesome?" ::starts doing muscle flexing poses:: "Especially the King's naked body? Why do artists usually believe that people in art should be naked? Why don't normal people believe people should be naked? And most importantly... why is it suddenly cold in here?"

"Bad" Ash stands, awaiting answers and discussion.

Comments

[likeguidelines.livejournal.com]

Barbossa blinked. And blinked.

That was entirely too much of a co-worker to see. Not to mention a teacher.

[neptune-wallace.livejournal.com]

Wallace looked over at Barbossa, and could see that the pirate was thinking the same thing he was.

"Are we sure we didn't get sent to a detention instead or something? This is about the worst punishment I could think of!"

[likeguidelines.livejournal.com]

Barbossa chuckled. "This be terrible, all right." He winked. "But fun to talk about on the radio tonight."

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty nods. He opens his mouth to complain but ends up singing.


The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It’s simple and it’s plain
Why should I complain.

[neptune-wallace.livejournal.com]

Wallace does a double take.

"Dude, ABBA? For real?"

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty rolls his eyes and holds up a ham and cheese sandwich from the cafeteria.

He writes a note saying "Stay Away from the Ham and Cheese!"

[neptune-wallace.livejournal.com]

Wallace reads the note and laughs. "Yeah, I don't eat any of the food around here. It all scares me."

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty nods and writes:

"From now on? Luke's and Deb's only."

[neptune-wallace.livejournal.com]

"I had my mom send me a huge stash of Easy Mac and cereal to keep in my room. How did people cook before microwaves?"

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty begins to wonder how he's going to eat the rest of the day without singing ABBA tunes.

[likeguidelines.livejournal.com]

Barbossa grinned. "ABBA, eh? The view inspirin' the song, or be thar somethin' else goin' wrong at this school?"

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty holds up a half-eaten grilled ham and cheese sandwich and a picture of Marty beating the crap out of the Swedish Chef.

[likeguidelines.livejournal.com]

"Got it. Cafeteria food's evil again. Or still." He patted his flask. "I be generally stayin' away from it, meself. Ye be brave to be tryin' it."

[neptune-wallace.livejournal.com]

"Man, I love your show, but I don't think I'll ever be able to listen on Thursdays again!"

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

"I gotta live with the man, pal. Think how I'm going to feel every day across the breakfast table!"

[neptune-wallace.livejournal.com]

Wallaces cringes again at the new image in his head. "Aww, you didn't need to share the love on that one, man!"

[likeguidelines.livejournal.com]

Barbossa nodded. "It be a mental image that'll be stickin' with ye fer a while, t'be sure."