fandomhigh | Library [09/17]

Gabrielle, who could be quite the voracious reader when she wanted to be (it helped to have an inexplicably convenient lack of language barriers, funny how that worked), had finished both the volume of Sappho and the copy of When the Love of Your Life Is Your Best Friend that she'd started, and subsequently checked out, yesterday.

Knowing perfectly well that they might get lost in her room -- she wasn't used to having places to put her things any more! -- if she didn't bring them back in, she headed into the library after driver's ed and came up to the desk with the books in her arms.

"Hello," she said cheerfully to the very, very tall boy from her literature class.

"Hey," Sam said, smiling in return. He marked the page he was on and set his book down on the desk to give her his full attention. "Can I help you with something?"

"Oh, just returning these," Gabrielle said, holding the books up. "I could just put them away myself, but the library does have rules."

"Oh, I can take care of them, it's not a problem," Sam said. "It's Gabrielle, right? I ended up looking for self help books today because of you."

"That's me," she confirmed. "And you're amazingly tall -- I mean, Sam."

Gabrielle had a sad tendency to get a little dorky around boys with a certain puppyish aspect to them.

She handed the books over to him and asked curiously, "Because of me? How?"

"The radio said you've been looking stuff up, and I realized I had some things to look for too," Sam explained. For the first time, he looked at the titles of the books she'd given him, and he couldn't stop himself from laughing.

Gabrielle laughed, too, just because it seemed like the thing to do (when in Rome and all, not that she'd been to Rome yet but she could see the point of the proverb), before her expression melted into confusion.

"Is that funny?"

"I wasn't laughing at you," Sam said quickly, thinking about how that might have sounded. "I just could have used this book a year ago, about being in love with your best friend. I didn't even know it was here."

"Really?" Gabrielle asked, before hastily adding, "It wasn't for me. I mean, that's not a problem for me. I was just curious, and it looked interesting, and were you, really?"

"Yeah. I mean, I still am, really. That's what I have this for now," Sam said, pointing to the book he'd been reading about long distance relationships. "He graduated over the summer, so he's home now."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Gabrielle said a little more gently, leaning forward against the desk. "I'm sure you miss him a lot. Is the book any help?"

She chuckled as something occurred to her, and gestured at the non-Sappho volume she'd brought back in. "I'm thinking of sending a copy of that back to Hercules and Iolaus, actually."

"Yeah, the book is helping. Not as much as the fact that I'm going to be seeing him in a few weeks though," Sam said.

"Are the two of them together?" he asked. "Or do you think they need to get woken up to exactly how much they care about each other?"

"I know the feeling, in a way, at least. I miss seeing my best friend --" because that was all she was, really -- "and I can't ever turn down a chance to go home for a visit."

She tapped a finger against her lips, thinking. "I don't think they are -- at least, not as far as I can tell, but I do have my suspicions."

"In my experience, it can be hard to tell the difference between best friend feelings and more serious ones," Sam said. "Especially if they're new feelings. If your suspicions are right, I hope they get it figured out. It's a lot better that way." It was a good thing he made that clear since his dorky grin surely couldn't have given it away.

Oh, no, the grin didn't give a thing away at all.

"You make it sound like more people have that problem than they realize," Gabrielle said thoughtfully.

"Well...yeah, I think they do," Sam said. "My brother and I both went through that, actually. We'd never been with other guys before. Then I met Peter and he met Alec and everything changed."

"You make it sound so easy," Gabrielle observed with a laugh.

"Oh, it's not easy. I got really lucky," Sam said. Really, really lucky considering he got Peter, of all people. "Peter and I spent like, a year dancing around how we felt, but it could have been a lot worse, like if he didn't feel the same way about me, or if my family wasn't okay with it. I'm sure you know how it goes." Because everyone lived in his brain, apparently.

". . . not really," Gabrielle answered slowly, from a perspective down near the opposite end of the spectrum where none of these concepts had ever seemed like a big deal ~~because RenPics tried to be all coy for six years~~. "Although I can understand not wanting to be forthcoming about your feelings right away." Hard not to understand when you shared campfires with Tall, Dark, and Broody, who never coughed up the details about her angst.

"I guess not wanting to be forthcoming is pretty universal, no matter who you like," Sam said. "It sounds like you come from a place as open-minded as here."

"Not really. I mean, not always," Gabrielle mused, thinking of Ephiny. "Athens is more tolerant than most of the small villages we pass through, and the Amazons are still working through their prejudice against the Centaurs. But some places . . . it's all right. Sometimes you just need to give someone a little bit of encouragement. I know I might still be home in Poteidaia, wishing I could do more, if I hadn't met Xena."

She smiled. "It's why I try to do that for some of the people I meet."

"Well, you might have your work cut out for you here," Sam said. "I don't think we can have enough encouraging people here."

"Even in Fandom?" Gabrielle looked surprised for a moment, then stared off into the stacks, considering. "It's hard to let go of things you've been taught your whole life, though, I know that. And if noobody knew that book was here . . ."

"And as nice as it is here, people still go home and see their families, and that's not always pleasant," Sam said, getting thoughtful as well. "Encouragement could go a long way."

"Especially if they feel safer here," Gabrielle added. "It's easier to talk about things like that when you're not worried about being in danger if the wrong person overhears. I'd love to get a chance to help people out that way, if we can find them."

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