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life's little quirks

a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2 | july 8

Loki decided to hold class outside, around the main campfire for maximum, well, maximum campfire experience. He really didn't know what the fuck that meant other than he wanted to be outside and not cooped up in a classroom. If the students didn't like roughing it, oh fucking well. That was why he had the authority.

"All right," he started once everyone seemed to have filed in, "I see some familiar faces and some faces I don't recognize. So, if you don't know me, I'm Loki, I'm your teacher and if you didn't sign up for this class, don't tell me that because I'll have to make fun of you."

And he would too.

"Anyway, if you're expecting to do battle with swords or learn to fly or shit like that, you're gonna be sadly bored in this class because that's not what it's about. This class is about dealing with all the little shit that you encounter in everyday life that can put a major fucking cramp in your day. It's stuff that no one thinks about until it fucking ruins their plans because they had no idea how to fucking get past it. This class will teach you how to get past certain things, how to deal with certain things and how to be fucking awesome while doing it."

He just threw that last part in, of course. He was always awesome.

"Today, though, we'll start off slow. We'll do introductions so I know who the hell you are and what the hell you're doing here. Name, age, and last time you bought fucking condoms." He thought of leaving it there but, well, he didn't need to get in trouble. "If you don't want to tell anyone that, just tell us the last time something embarrassing happened to you that you didn't know how to deal with. Sound good? Right." He paused and looked around the assembled mass before picking two people at random. "And you two," he said, pointing to George and Elena, "are the TA's. Congratulations. Don't you just love random fucking selection? Anyway, intros. Go."

With that, he leaned back and waited to hear the class intros.

[Class syllabus and roster]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He's always around to talk to anyone!

Loki had expressed an interest that the feeding continue, and so continue it shall. In the form of cake (http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/choc_pumpkin_bundt.html) at the end of his class. She offered it out with a sweet smile as she greeted him with a, "So, how'd it go?"

"I've got some blushers this time around," he said, eyes lighting up upon seeing some sort of chocolate cake. He didn't immediately think of it as healthy because mmm chocolate.

And that, truly, was how she got some of the best of them. Mwa ha ha.

"Awww," said Daisy with a grin. "How long do you think that'll last?"

"Depends," he said, gesturing to the cake in order to show that he had SOME Kind of manners. "If I don't go too hard on them, they should be okay. I asked about the last time they went and bought condoms today. A lot of them had never done it."

And a lot of them had PLANS and REASONS why they hadn't. Teenagers were active.

And Daisy blinked at that as if it was an entirely foreign concept to her. "Really?" she finally asked, and then shook her head. "And, no, it's all yours, so help yourself. I'm not exactly in the habit of allowing myself to have cake in the morning."

"Thanks, wifey," he said, grinning at her and taking the cake. "And yeah, really. Some of them actually had some good reasons. One of them let's the guy do it because, if he wants to get laid, he'll have the protection. Some people don't use condoms where they're from, that kind of thing."

There was another pause.

"Yes, but if you want to get laid, you'll have the protection," Daisy pointed out, shaking her head a little. "So is that what the first lesson was about? Proper protection? I'd hardly count the consequences of what happens if you haven't got it as one of life's little quirks, Loki. Or were you just asking out some potentially inappropriate curiosity or need to make the blushy ones squirm?"

"No, no, that was there intro question," Loki explained before taking a bite of the cake. "You know, name, age, and some other random thing to get a feel. I asked that. I am doing a lesson later on buying embarrassing things though so it was a precursor. See who's going to do okay buying condoms, laxatives, tampons, that kind of thing."

"And here I just ask their favourite foods," said Daisy. "Which is how the octopus thing came up, by the way. No Ho-Hos for breakfast every day, although one kid did have a Swiss Cake roll."

"Swiss Cake rolls are a pretty good dinner food," he said, nodding. "Sweet and there's usually two of them you can even share!"

"Noooooo," said Daisy. "Bad Loki. No more cake if you keep that up."

"It's mine now!" he said, holding it close. "And I'm not teaching your class so I can say that. You could punish me if I showed up in your class one day and tried to sway them to junk food."

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