fandomhigh | a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2

Loki decided to hold class outside, around the main campfire for maximum, well, maximum campfire experience. He really didn't know what the fuck that meant other than he wanted to be outside and not cooped up in a classroom. If the students didn't like roughing it, oh fucking well. That was why he had the authority.

"All right," he started once everyone seemed to have filed in, "I see some familiar faces and some faces I don't recognize. So, if you don't know me, I'm Loki, I'm your teacher and if you didn't sign up for this class, don't tell me that because I'll have to make fun of you."

And he would too.

"Anyway, if you're expecting to do battle with swords or learn to fly or shit like that, you're gonna be sadly bored in this class because that's not what it's about. This class is about dealing with all the little shit that you encounter in everyday life that can put a major fucking cramp in your day. It's stuff that no one thinks about until it fucking ruins their plans because they had no idea how to fucking get past it. This class will teach you how to get past certain things, how to deal with certain things and how to be fucking awesome while doing it."

He just threw that last part in, of course. He was always awesome.

"Today, though, we'll start off slow. We'll do introductions so I know who the hell you are and what the hell you're doing here. Name, age, and last time you bought fucking condoms." He thought of leaving it there but, well, he didn't need to get in trouble. "If you don't want to tell anyone that, just tell us the last time something embarrassing happened to you that you didn't know how to deal with. Sound good? Right." He paused and looked around the assembled mass before picking two people at random. "And you two," he said, pointing to George and Elena, "are the TA's. Congratulations. Don't you just love random fucking selection? Anyway, intros. Go."

With that, he leaned back and waited to hear the class intros.

[Class syllabus and roster]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Aww, Daisy, I knew you loved me," he said and grinned at her. "You are unable to withstand my charm."

"I am!" said Daisy, with a note of exasperated, amused agreement. "Utterly incapable! Every single time, that charm of your just takes right over and I'm like putty in your big, manly hands, Loki."

"Don't make me flick this cake at you," he teased with a laugh. "Get it all in that pretty hair of yours."

"And you accuse me of being the bad spouse," Daisy shook her head. "I make that cake just for you and you want to put it in my hair."

"It'd be playful!" Loki insisted. "Playful fucking flirting!"

"You're just like a big, eons old kid, aren't you?"

"Should I not be?" he wondered. "I thought people liked it!"

Not that he was planning on changing or anything.

"Not when it involves cake in my hair, you shouldn't," said Daisy. "Cake goes in your stomach. Fingers go through my hair."

"What if my fingers just happen to have cake on them?" he wondered.

"Then I'll have to remember to bring napkins for you next time," Daisy decided after a moment to consider it.

"And tuck them into my shirt collar and everything?" he joked. "Just to make sure I don't make a mess!"

"Well, if you insist on acting like a kid, that's only fair that I can treat you like one. And, by the way, I have you hate you now for making me sound like someone's mum."

"Hey, in some weird fucked up world, you are a mom," he reminded her. "Aw, little Marcus. So inquisitive."

"Him and that smelly hat from Ben's shop," muttered Daisy, shaking her head and wondering if it was a good thing Loki had only mentioned Marcus or not.

She still doubted the validity of Justice's paternity claim. There was no way Tony bloody Stark could have produced something that adorable, not even with Daisy.

"At least yours had some manners," Loki pointed out. He'd had Michael, a little hellion if there ever was one.

"See, now I half wish your little guy was still around," said Daisy. "That way I can compare and see which one of you is actually more mature."

"Do not fucking say that!" Loki said, shushing her. "I don't want to wake up to him wanting breakfast again!"

Even if Michael was awesome.

"If he shows up wanting breakfast again," said Daisy, "I promise I'll help you make some."

"If you've jinxed me, I am going to evict you," he threatened without any real vehemence behind it.

"You can't evict me for that!" Daisy insisted. "You'd miss me way too much."

Not that she probably wouldn't just be over at Ben's enough that it probably wouldn't make a difference, but still. That was where she kept all her nice stuuuuuff.

"Can too, it's in your fucking lease!" Maybe he could get her to look through it or something. It'd be funny.

"What? That you can evict me for possibly jinxing you and having your wee little improbably kid show up again?"

"Yes," he said, nodding. "It's in there. Check it out."

a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2 | july 8

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