Art of Seduction [Wednesday, Period Four]

[doubleohblonde]

Today's class was actually in a classroom, Bond stood next to large whiteboard as he waited for the class to arrive, looking slightly more chipper than usual.

"Good afternoon class," Bond began. "Today we were going to discuss first dates, but then I remembered just how a really good first date can end, and I decided it might be worthwhile to skip ahead slightly to make sure that if you do have such a date, that it has a happy ending. For both of you."

He paused a moment and then continued for the benefit of the entendre-impaired "I am, of course, talking about sex." Bond then proceeded to give concise, yet informative, explanations of the basic mechanics for both heterosexual and homosexual couples, using stick figure diagrams to illustrate some of the more popular positions for each.

"While the details of a person's sex life, or lack thereof, varies from individual to individual, one thing that everyone who has or is thinking of having sex should keep in mind is safe sex," Bond said, his tone serious as he began another series of diagrams. "Now, there are a variety of methods that can be utilised for safer sex. For example there is hormonal contraception, intrauterine devices, making sure your partner isn't working for a criminal syndicate, and a variety of barrier methods."

"One of the more highly recommended methods of contraception is the condom," Bond said, pointing to a particular diagram. "Not least because it is one of the few methods that prevent STDs as well as unwanted pregnancy. To help demonstrate the importance of proper contraception, we will be watching a short film on the subject, after which you may go, or stay to discuss the class with your fellow students."

[ooc: wait for ocd up. Links are varying degrees of NWS.]

[Class Roster|Previous Classes]

Comments

Sign In - Seduction [Week 4

[doubleohblonde]

Like you're thinking about sex.

Re: Sign In - Seduction [Week 4

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Liir Thropp

Listen to the Lecture - Seduction [Week 4]

[doubleohblonde]

Marvel at what might be the one time in his entire life that Bond talks about sex in a purely professional manner.

Or just try to hide from the stick figures.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Seduction [Week 4]

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Liir really did not want to be in this class right now. He wanted to go find Amber and...

Discuss baking. Yes, that's right. DISCUSS BAKING.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Seduction [Week 4]

[bad-nose-job.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear.

Quit staring at the stick figures, Penelope.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Seduction [Week 4]

[bitten_notshy]

Jack was trying not to laugh at the stick figures, but he actually took notes on the birth control options. They were almost all new to him.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Seduction [Week 4]

[icecoldfrost]

Stick figures? Really? There were more explicit things on television than this.

Still, Emma took diligent notes, since things like birth control had very much been on the list of Things We Do Not Discuss both at home and at her previous school, and she hadn't exactly had anyone she could ask for the last year or so.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Seduction [Week 4]

[wantstobehuman.livejournal.com]

George stared at the stick figures, cocking his head as he tried to properly decipher them.

It didn't help that he kept getting distracted. The next full moon was less than a week away, so his senses were already in overdrive -- and there was a new scent in the air that he just. couldn't. place.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Seduction [Week 4]

[nevertobequeen.livejournal.com]

Morgana was doing all right until the stick figures came into play, and then she just started staring and wondered if such acts could be worth the supposed pleasure.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Seduction [Week 4]

[trigons_child]

Raven was feeling distracted for some reason, and the lecture wasn't helping.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Seduction [Week 4]

[ashockingbitch]

Jenny was more interested in the teacher than the lecture, although the stick figures were definitely entertaining.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Seduction [Week 4]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Uquar, this was uncomfortable. She didn't want to hear about it, she wanted to do it. Now. Right now.

She tried not to squirm too obviousy throughout the lesson.

Watch the Film - Seduction [Week 4]

[doubleohblonde]

Use protection, because if you don't Syphilis will come to your house and kill you with a chainsaw. For realz.

Re: Watch the Film - Seduction [Week 4]

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

...hadn't he watched something on this in another class?

Arg.

Re: Watch the Film - Seduction [Week 4]

[bad-nose-job.livejournal.com]

Yes, she's seen something like this before.

Her cheeks were going to be warm, no doubt, the entire class.

Re: Watch the Film - Seduction [Week 4]

[bitten_notshy]

... oh, really. Jack had no idea what to make of this one, and just hoped he wasn't expected to take it seriously.

Re: Watch the Film - Seduction [Week 4]

[wantstobehuman.livejournal.com]

"But." George continued staring, this time at the images on the screen. That sound? Was the sound of George's brain breaking into a million little pieces.

Re: Watch the Film - Seduction [Week 4]

[icecoldfrost]

...Right.

Emma was just going to be over here, laughing into her notebook.

Re: Watch the Film - Seduction [Week 4]

[nevertobequeen.livejournal.com]

The diagrams had been bad enough, but the film did nothing to make Morgana feel better about ever having to have sex.

Class Discuss - Seduction [Week 4]

[doubleohblonde]

OR FLEE, FLEE FOR YOUR SANITY!

Re: Class Discuss - Seduction [Week 4]

[bad-nose-job.livejournal.com]

Penelope gathered her bag. Really, she didn't need to stay for this did she? Not having the first clue about having sex, what could she say to anyone?

Re: Class Discuss - Seduction [Week 4]

[icecoldfrost]

Emma leaned back in her chair, waiting for the fun to start. As the TA, she had a duty to stay and mock people facilitate discussion. Or something.

Talk to Bond - Seduction [Week 4]

[doubleohblonde]

He's here for all your questions, all of them.

Talk to the TAs - Seduction [Week 4]

[doubleohblonde]

You know, if you can't look Bond in the eye after the stick figures.

Re: Talk to the TAs - Seduction [Week 4]

[bitten_notshy]

Jack was around and wondering if he could possibly get away with asking Emma a few questions.

Somehow, that turned into thinking about how pretty Emma was. Which turned into thinking about how rugged Professor Bond was.

... Jack might not be much use for the rest of class.

[doubleohblonde]

Bond + sex pollen is pretty much the same as throwing a cup of water in the ocean.

Which is as good a segue as any into OMGWTFPOPSICLE?!.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

...I was going to link it if you hadn't found it in the therapy post. Too perfect ^_^