fandomhigh | Heroing [Tuesday, period 2, class #2]

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heroing

Heroing [Tuesday, period 2, class #2]

"Hello, class!" Captain Hammer bellowed as soon as everyone was seated. "Today, we're going to talk about sounding heroic. In order to strike true fear into your nemesis...es. Nemesiseses. Nemisi...." He shook his head. "Bad people you fight! In order to strike fear into their hearts, they need to hear you coming. Now, some people believe in 'battlecries.'"

Captain Hammer's use of airquotes didn't necessarily indicate any sarcasm. It more indicated that he didn't know how to use airquotes.

"Which are fine and good. I prefer to just speak loudly at every opportunity! Some heroes like to sing, and that's fine too. Other heroes like to...talk to their villains. And a lot of villains talk back." He shook his head. "They think they're 'witty.' Anyway, class! Your job today is to pair up and hold a heroic conversation! Do it loudly! Sing if you want! Use catch phrases! 'Banter!' Just be heroic while you talk to each other!"

[OCD is ~~coming~~ up, lol forgot to strike this out.]

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"Hey!" Hannibal yelled. "Make like a tree and leave!"

That was sort of a catchphrase.

"You shout," Romeo returned with a kind of friendly glare, "yet you say nothing, fool."

"I know you are but what am I?" Hannibal shout back sharply. "I am the hero!"

"And if thee called thyself a carp, that would not make thee one," Romeo countered. "But let me name you. I'll name you a pig, and a dog, and a pig-dog, but none of your 'hero.' "

He might have been having a little bit too much fun with this.

"Only girls talk like that!" Hannibal decided. "Are you a girl? I think you're a giiiiiiiirl!"

"The best you can do is to call me a girl?" Romeo arched an eyebrow. "Thou whoreson toad, I'm ten times the man and twenty times the hero you could ever be!"

"And yet, you keep talking like a girl!" Hannibal said, laughing. "You're. A. Poser. You're a fake wannabe!"

Hannibal laughing made Romeo laugh and that wrecked the hero thing.

"I'm a very real wannabe!" he said. "And -- that is how I talk. Really. And I don't sound like a girl."

And Romeo laughing just made Hannibal laugh more.

"You sound like...an apple tree!" Still laughing. "I don't even know what I'm saying anymore."

"I think you're saying that King Awesome is obsessed with trees," Romeo snickered. "Perhaps your superpower is turning things into wood."

"It might be a bit useful!" Hannibal said, avoiding the obvious dirty line. "I could turn bad guys into wood! I'd stop them cold! Their bark would definitely be worse than their bite!"

Romeo had managed to miss that opportunity for dirty; somewhere, Mercutio would be very disappointed.

"You could chop them limb from limb!" he offered.

"And, of course, cut them off at the trunk!" Hannibal added.

"Pluck their fruits -- or, wait, does that sound filthy?"

"Nothing wrong with a little dirty," Hannibal decided.

"Our professor liked my superhero name because of the dirty," Romeo said. "Perhaps it just goes with the task of heroing. Lots of damsels to rescue, all of that."

"Oddly enough, I am okay with rescuing damsels," he said. "It's part of the job and all."

"It's only your duty as a hero," Romeo agreed seriously. "And, strangely enough, not one I would mind either."

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Heroing [Tuesday, period 2, class #2]

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