fandomhigh | The Library; Monday [ 09/22 ]

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The Library; Monday [ 09/22 ]

When considering the possible things that he could do when he opened the library to keep himself from getting bored, Cal considered three different things. The first was the obligatory studying for school. The second consisted of studying for the play. The third, which would be more time consuming and therefor what he would likely pursue, was to track down some titles he remembered from Dr. Luce's office, especially vivid in his head after telling Amber about him on Friday, and see if they existed in the library.

However, once he did, in fact, open, and saw the residual results of all that research done over the weekend because of that island, Cal realized that cleaning up after the fact was going to keep him plenty busy enough.

[[ also? My computer is jacked up and marking everything as October, apparently. XD ]]

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Biting her lip, Amber followed him. "How many books can I check out at one time?"

"You actually want to check them out?" Cal asked, his brow creasing a little, but unabashedly since she was behind him. "You know, a lot of the ones I'm talking about don't even really deal with my...um...

Amber was totally checking out his backside. "Then help me out here," she suggested quietly. "Show me what I need to help better understand your condition."

If Cal knew that Amber was doing that, he would have been required to ask 'What backside?'

Even though he knew he chose the word first, his nose wrinkled a little to hear Amber call it a condition, and he stopped a bit, biting his lip thoughtfully.

"Well," he said, reluctantly. "There is one thing..."

A skinny ass didn't mean she wouldn't look.

"What?" she asked.

"It's...really outdated by now, I'm sure," Cal continued, both in his idea and in walking, "but there was a book. I'm, uh, well...I was actually one of the case studies, for the chapter on my...you know."

"Oh my god, really?" Amber followed closer, intrigued by the idea of getting to read about him. "Is it by this Dr. Luce?"

"And some of his associates," Cal added, with a slight nod, as he dully kept his eyes on the numbers on the shelves to locate the right area. He thought about Amber reading through it, all those technical terms, but mostly, the diagrams, the charts, the photograph with the black-barred eyes to keep his identity safe.

Amber was looking at the shelves too, having no idea what she was looking for but whatever, she was searching. "You wouldn't mind, Cal, seriously, if I read this book?"

Cal glanced back toward Amber, his expression vaguely reminiscent of a wounded puppy, despite the fact that he just shrugged and turned away to continue on. "Why would I?"

"Aw, Cal," she said and stepped up closer, having caught that look. Her hand reached for his back, between his shoulder blades. "If you'd rather I didn't, I understand."

Cal's shoulders shifted a little with the hand against his back, first pulling back toward them, and then, slightly, all of it very subtle, falling forward a little, body stooping slightly. "It's fine," he told her. "I'll probably be good for you to read."

Her hand dropped away and Amber actually closed in on herself a little, thinking stupid thoughts about why he wouldn't want her touching him. His movement, subtle as it was, was made known and she allowed it to hurt her. "Okay," she whispered and shoved her hands in her pockets, falling behind.

A response like that, where he could practically feel Amber pulling away despite the fact that his back was to her, made Cal draw in a slight breath and settle into a sort of somber silence. Was she upset at him because he'd showed some sort of reluctance, a sort of guarded restraint? What did she expect? He'd already opened himself up to her more than anyone else, but just because he didn't go rushing headlong...

It didn't matter, anyway. He found the shelf in the silence passing between them, trailed a finger along all the spines of the books, and then found the one he wanted, 1974, Genetics and Heredity.

"Chapter sixteen," he told her. "We can go check it out and you can take it with you." He hoped that worked as a polite way of saying he didn't want her opening it up here. "There's also an article in the old '75 archives of the Journal of Pediatric Endocrinology by the good doctor himself that I found. I can't loan the journals out, but we can photocopy it."

It would be nice if he acted like he did before Friday night. Amber couldn't figure out what she was doing wrong. Touching him was a no-no now?

"Fine. That's fine," she said, getting that he didn't want her to open the book here. She wouldn't have anyway, but whatever. Amber turned around and headed back.

Jesus, did someone call 'fire' or something? Cal looked after Amber as she started to edge away, feeling like she felt she couldn't move fast enough, for a moment before saying, pointing a thumb over his shoulder in the opposite direction. "And the Luce article? Did you want...? It's over that way."

Amber stopped, turned, and gave him a look. "What the hell is going on here? Everything's changed since Friday night and you're treating me like I've got some sort of disease or something. I can't touch you now?"

Cal stared at Amber for a long moment, trying to register exactly what it was she was saying. All he could seem to come up with was, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your attitude, Cal. I touched your back and felt you pull away from me. Why? Don't be so obtuse, okay? It doesn't suit you at all."

At first, all Cal could think to do in response was stare back a little more. And then he blinked, came around to his senses and asked, "Obtuse? Are you serious?"

If anyone was being obtuse, here....

"Can you answer my question please? Why did you pull away from my hand?"

"If anyone pulled away, it was you," Cal pointed out. "I shifted, if you really want to be that technical. What? Am I supposed to feel bad because discussing my deformity doesn't exactly make me all touchy-feely?"

"No, you're not," she said, her voice soft. "But I don't think I want to deal with you like this everytime we talk about who you are."

"But that is part of who I am!" Cal said, his voice raising despite the location, but his frustration getting the better of him. "That isn't just going to change! Or would you rather I just pretended like it didn't bother me, just like I had to pretend with--"

But Cal didn't say it. He stopped short of that name, sucked in a deep breath, and sucked down his emotions with it. He shook his head. "Forget it," he said. "I'll check the book out for you; I've got some things I've got to do before I close up, anyway." He breathed out a sigh and turned to head back to the the front desk.

Amber stood still, blanching from his yelling at her. He compared her to her. Most likely he always would.

As soon as he walked away, she slumped down against the bookshelves bringing her knees to her chest. She had to get control of her emotions and she really didn't need him to see her cry.

The Library; Monday [ 09/22 ]

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