How to Be a Complete Bitch Without Really Trying, Workshop 7, Period 2 (Monday, August 18)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

Class! Class, this week was very exciting! Were they excited, children? They should be! Today was a very special day! Today was their final! Wasn't that right, Jean-Paul?

"Indeed, Mademoiselle Bell," Jean-Paul agreed. "Today is your final." They should be very excited indeed! They were almost done with Jean-Paul and Tink! "And we have a very special final in store for you. It should be an excellent test of whether you have truly learned the way of the bitch, is that not right, Mademoiselle Bell?"

It should! It also contained random humiliation, which, in Tink's mind, was just as important for a final. Because teachers should get to laugh at their students a lot. Why else would one teach? It certainly wasn't for the money. Did the children have any idea what they got paid, here? Here was a hint: not much.

"It is true, we do not. Do not go into education, children. The pay is horrible and you have to deal with, well, you. When you are thirty looking back at yourselves as teenagers, you will agree with me." Was Jean-Paul being bitchy? Yes. He also believed he was one hundred percent right. "Now, your final will be simple. Complete the tasks assigned to you in the proper fashion, and you are done."

Of course, that was only simple for people with full, functioning brains, so Tink wasn't too convinced that all of their students could pull it off, but at least the failures would be entertaining. Tink had a martini and would be keeping score and videotaping anything that looked particularly useful for blackmail purposes. Had Jean-Paul noticed how rich this island was, for blackmail possibilities?

"I have!" Jean-Paul said happily. "Truly, it is a wonderful place. Unless you are the one being blackmailed." They would not speak of the weekend everyone was a pony. Ever. "But remember, children, after the blackmail possibilities, you are done!" That meant they never had to see JP and Tink again! Unless they needed clothes. Or got stuck in one of his classes. But other than that!

And that was a very, very good thing indeed. Now shoo! Off with you! Time to final!

Comments

Sign In! (8/18)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

Your truly assigned bitch names, and your most divariffic icons, please!

Re: Sign In! (8/18)

[always-damp.livejournal.com]

Toby

Talk Amongst Yourselves (8/18)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

Be afraid of the coming final. Because you should be.

Re: Talk Amongst Yourselves (8/18)

[always-damp.livejournal.com]

Toby heard the word 'final' and was almost nervous. Almost.

Re: Talk Amongst Yourselves (8/18)

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

Lee didn't think anything would be as hard as yesterday so he wasn't too worried.

Re: Talk Amongst Yourselves (8/18)

[finding-x-dream.livejournal.com]

Agnes was just very glad that she wouldn't have to be in this class much longer.

Round One: Divas, Start Your Engines! (8/18)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

Pick one of the three horrifying scenarios below, and ping in to throw the bitchy, diva tantrum that it warrants against the poor, unsuspecting wait staff / shop clerk / assorted NPCs.

(These NPCs may look startlingly similar to NPCs that occurred in earlier simulations. This is because the muns only have so much icon space Tink and Jean-Paul were too lazy to reprogram new NPCs in the danger shop.)

R1: Scenario One: This Food Is Gross!

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

You ordered medium, and this steak is medium rare. You clearly said no ice, and these dimwits brought you ice. Mod your food-related mishap (with bonus points for how nitpicky and stupid the problem is), summon the waitstaff, and abuse the crap out of them. How can they ever make this up to you!?

R1: Scenario Two: This Dressing Room Is Ugly!

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

You deigned to grace this stupid little show with your presence, and this is the thanks you get? You explicitly gave them a list of what was to be here, in the dressing room, and it is all wrong! Mod what tiny details they have messed up (again, bonus points for stupid details) and summon the organizers and threaten to just walk out. How dare they!?

R1: Scenario Three: This Store Sucks!

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

You were going to spend some of your bags and bags of money here, in their unworthy store, and this dress is not available in your size! These shoes are entirely the wrong color! This suit won't be available until Wednesday! Mod the painful and outrageous inconvenience (once again, bonus points go for pettiness) and explain to the clerk how much they'll have to suck up to get you not to sue them or shoot them or something. How rude!

Round Two: Exercise Apathy (8/18)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

(OOC: We couldn't resist. There are cigarettes here and chairs. Lounge in a _fashionably_ bored way, and not a fidgety lame little-person bored way.)

Re: Round Two: Exercise Apathy (8/18)

[always-damp.livejournal.com]

Toby wasn't sure if he was supposed to just be like, sitting and smoking. But damn, cigarettes! He inhaled deeply not knowing when he'd have another chance for this.

Re: Round Two: Exercise Apathy (8/18)

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

Lee bypassed the cigarettes but did flop down in one of the chairs, lazily sprawling out like he owned the place.

Re: Round Two: Exercise Apathy (8/18)

[peace_n_war]

Warren just sat around and waited. Fine. He could do this.

The longer it lasted, the longer he didn't have to worry about humoring the pixie and the fairy, after all.

Re: Round Two: Exercise Apathy (8/18)

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Liir skipped the cigarettes, knowing how they could make you choke if you weren't careful as he'd seen a younger member of the Forcers made a fool of, and lazed thoughtlessly in the chair.

Re: Round Two: Exercise Apathy (8/18)

[finding-x-dream.livejournal.com]

Agnes sat down on a chair very primly and waited.

While waiting, she pulled a hatpin off her hair and stuck it down the back of her big clunky boots, to try to scratch an itch on her heel.

Re: Round Two: Exercise Apathy (8/18)

[not_in_the_book]

Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Breathe. Repeat.

Ronan let the smoke fill his lungs, let it out, feeling himself relax into a state of apathy. It's not like this class mattered, anyway. It was a summer workshop, not something he was being graded for.

Who cares?

Round Three: Here You Are, Miss America! (8/18)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

Ooooooh, you might just win it all! Here, put the sash and tiara on, and take this armful of long-stemmed roses -- yes, boys, even you have to do that part -- and step up to the microphone to give your Very Intelligent Answers to these Serious, Serious Questions. Bitch it up in here.

(OOC: pick one, and that's the question you were magically asked by the mysterious invisible voice behind the very bright footlights.)

R3: Question 1: World Peace

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

Why do you want world peace? What will you do to bring it about in your lifetime?

R3: Question 2: World Peace And Other Touchy-Feely Stuff Like That

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

Which is more important: ending global hunger, curing cancer, or world peace? Why?

R3: Question 3: Your Gift(s)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

What do you feel is your greatest gift? How will you use it for the world?

Round Four: Abject Humiliation (8/18)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

Round four is a stage with a karaoke machine on it. There is a pink frilly taffeta bridesmaid's dress (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/pink_dress_340x490.jpg), some high-heeled tap shoes, and both just happen to be in your size, isn't that handy? Your task for this round is to put on the dress and shoes, get up on the stage, and tap-dance while you sing "The Good Ship Lollipop." The karaoke machine has a TV with the words highlighted along in case you've forgotten them. If you really object to the song, it could be changed to something by the Pussycat Dolls, so do not go there.

Did we mention the mustard? Right. There's a big container of squeezable mustard. You have to pour that on yourself while you perform. Bon appetit!

Re: Round Four: Abject Humiliation (8/18)

[always-damp.livejournal.com]

Toby...didn't see the problem with this. He didn't know how to tap, so he turned it into a sort of strip tease, minus the stripping, since he wasn't wearing a shirt to begin with. Smearing mustard all over his face and chest, people might be worried he was too into this.

Your Teachers (8/18)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

They are here. They are laughing. They are filming you.

Your TA (8/18)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

He is probably laughing at you, too.

Re: Your TA (8/18)

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Chuck was laughing at you and your pathetic attempts to be as bitchy as he is.

OOC (8/18)

[tinkerbitch.livejournal.com]

Wave adieu to Miss Bell; she is returning to Townie status this fall. It has been simply lovely humiliating educating you all!