fandomhigh | How to Be a Complete Bitch Without Really Trying, Workshop 7, Period 2 (Monday, August 18)

Class! Class, this week was very exciting! Were they excited, children? They should be! Today was a very special day! Today was their final! Wasn't that right, Jean-Paul?

"Indeed, Mademoiselle Bell," Jean-Paul agreed. "Today is your final." They should be very excited indeed! They were almost done with Jean-Paul and Tink! "And we have a very special final in store for you. It should be an excellent test of whether you have truly learned the way of the bitch, is that not right, Mademoiselle Bell?"

It should! It also contained random humiliation, which, in Tink's mind, was just as important for a final. Because teachers should get to laugh at their students a lot. Why else would one teach? It certainly wasn't for the money. Did the children have any idea what they got paid, here? Here was a hint: not much.

"It is true, we do not. Do not go into education, children. The pay is horrible and you have to deal with, well, you. When you are thirty looking back at yourselves as teenagers, you will agree with me." Was Jean-Paul being bitchy? Yes. He also believed he was one hundred percent right. "Now, your final will be simple. Complete the tasks assigned to you in the proper fashion, and you are done."

Of course, that was only simple for people with full, functioning brains, so Tink wasn't too convinced that all of their students could pull it off, but at least the failures would be entertaining. Tink had a martini and would be keeping score and videotaping anything that looked particularly useful for blackmail purposes. Had Jean-Paul noticed how rich this island was, for blackmail possibilities?

"I have!" Jean-Paul said happily. "Truly, it is a wonderful place. Unless you are the one being blackmailed." They would not speak of the weekend everyone was a pony. Ever. "But remember, children, after the blackmail possibilities, you are done!" That meant they never had to see JP and Tink again! Unless they needed clothes. Or got stuck in one of his classes. But other than that!

And that was a very, very good thing indeed. Now shoo! Off with you! Time to final!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You were going to spend some of your bags and bags of money here, in their unworthy store, and this dress is not available in your size! These shoes are entirely the wrong color! This suit won't be available until Wednesday! Mod the painful and outrageous inconvenience (once again, bonus points go for pettiness) and explain to the clerk how much they'll have to suck up to get you not to sue them or shoot them or something. How rude!

"These shirts make my arms look small!" Lee shouted angrily. "What's the meaning of this?"

"No, they don't," said the hipster of indeterminate gender, not even looking up from -- his? her? -- magazine. They didn't pay (him or her) enough to give a crap, so the guy's arms were, like, fine or whatever.

"You don't know anything," Lee scoffed, "except for the bottom of your parent's basement and the bottom of a potato chip bag. Get me a new shirt."

The hipster looked up, booooooooooored, and sighed. "Look, you don't gotta be a jerk about it," the hipster said. "Fine. I'll get you a different shirt or whatever."

This was accompanied with a big, self-pitying sigh. How dare the guy with the bitchin' arms make the hipster work.

"Excuse me," Ronan began. "I'm terribly sorry to interrupt," he continued, although his tone said that he was anything but sorry, "but I couldn't help but notice that these shirts labeled 'emerald green' are in fact a few shades too light. I'm certain that it's just a minor mistake with the stock -- could you go and find the actual emerald green shirts for me, please?"

How to Be a Complete Bitch Without Really Trying, Workshop 7, Period 2 (Monday, August 18)

R1: Scenario Three: This Store Sucks!

Re: R1: Scenario Three: This Store Sucks!

Re: R1: Scenario Three: This Store Sucks!

Re: R1: Scenario Three: This Store Sucks!

Re: R1: Scenario Three: This Store Sucks!

Re: R1: Scenario Three: This Store Sucks!