fandomhigh | Intergalactic Justice, Tuesday Period One

"Today, my little critters of learnitude, we finish our class with a GAUNTLET!"

Jim was appropriately gung-ho for the occasion. "This shop-- this DANGER SHOP has been set up with the defining laws of my universe. You must choose! Choose your weapons! Choose your enemy! And SAVE MY LOVELY BUTTERFINGERS OF JUSTICE!"

Jim coughed to clear his throat, then helpfully indicated the cardboard cut-out of an unusually attractive, bee-like woman all the way at the back of the Danger Shop. "Unfortunately," he continued, "My sidekick, Peter, couldn't be here today to give you the skinny on the second assignment. I will just have to take his place and hope the Great Worm Spirit forgives me!"

He held up a little cardboard mask of an anthromorphic dog up to his face. "Hi, class!" he said, in a high-pitched voice, "Fighting peril and righting wrongs in the galaxy is kind of a big, um, terrifying job, but it's really nothing compared to the dangers of, uh, haggis. See, haggis is... the heart... lungs... and liver... of a sheep... boiled in its own--"

Theatrically, Jim choked up a little. Then pulled the mask away from his face. "Sometimes," he said, with ceremony, "You just can't avoid haggis. Now! Get to it, my little chums!"

[ ~~wait for the~~ ocd up! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well...it looked kind of like a mutant. Alex decided it was close enough for government work. "Halt! In the name of the law!"

"This is the planet of Heck," Evil said, boredly, as he examined his nails. "There is no law but me."

Alex held up--an eggbeater.

Whoops.

"I represent intergalactic law and. Goodness or something." This class had him so confused.

"Goodness?" Evil asked, and now he was well and truly looking amused. "I am Evil." Pause. "The Cat. What do I care about goodness, or sunshine, or babies, or rainbows, or those little sugary candies they leave on hotel pillows?"

"Do you care about not getting stomped by a giant robot?" Alex wanted to know.

"There are no giant robots here," Evil replied, reaching for the very large cardboard ray gun that laid hidden underneath his throne. "It clashes with the decor."

"Are you really going to bank on that? How do you know I don't have a giant robot right outside?" Alex asked.

"It's a planet," Evil said, staring at him over the rim of his ray gun. "There is no outside. Unless you mean the VACUUM OF SPACE."

"Exactly. It's a robot, it doesn't need to breathe," Alex pointed out.

"But you do, I'd imagine," Evil said, idly.

And then, with maniacal glee, he fired the cardboard ray gun at Alex's feet. "Dance. Dance the infernal dance of HECK!"

Alex looked at Evil like he was crazy. "Watch the boots!"

Reeling his voice in to a more subdued tone, Evil continued, "I said dance."

"I don't dance."

"But you DO NOW!"

In another burst of maniacal laughter, Evil resumed firing. "Oh, this is such fun."

Intergalactic Justice, Tuesday Period One

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat

Re: Pick an Opponent - Evil the Cat