fandomhigh | Intergalactic Justice, Tuesday Period One

"Today, my little critters of learnitude, we finish our class with a GAUNTLET!"

Jim was appropriately gung-ho for the occasion. "This shop-- this DANGER SHOP has been set up with the defining laws of my universe. You must choose! Choose your weapons! Choose your enemy! And SAVE MY LOVELY BUTTERFINGERS OF JUSTICE!"

Jim coughed to clear his throat, then helpfully indicated the cardboard cut-out of an unusually attractive, bee-like woman all the way at the back of the Danger Shop. "Unfortunately," he continued, "My sidekick, Peter, couldn't be here today to give you the skinny on the second assignment. I will just have to take his place and hope the Great Worm Spirit forgives me!"

He held up a little cardboard mask of an anthromorphic dog up to his face. "Hi, class!" he said, in a high-pitched voice, "Fighting peril and righting wrongs in the galaxy is kind of a big, um, terrifying job, but it's really nothing compared to the dangers of, uh, haggis. See, haggis is... the heart... lungs... and liver... of a sheep... boiled in its own--"

Theatrically, Jim choked up a little. Then pulled the mask away from his face. "Sometimes," he said, with ceremony, "You just can't avoid haggis. Now! Get to it, my little chums!"

[ ~~wait for the~~ ocd up! ]

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"One of our men is a telepath," the Princess said, smartly, "It's the only way we can work under my sister's radars." She sounded very serious about it.

"Oh, I guess that makes sense," Turtle said, nodding congenially. "Doesn't that get annoying, though? That he can read your mind. You'd be screwed if he had bad breath one day, because then all you'd be doing was thinking that, man, George has bad breath, and he'd know it, and be all cranky at you for it, but you can't help it! It's not your fault he had an onion bagel for breakfast and it just stuck!"

"He doesn't have a mouth," Princess What's-Her-Name pointed out, crossing her arms. She was feeling an odd kind of foreboding, a familiar one, even, but she brushed it off.

Jim was nowhere in sight, after all.

"So the breath issues are limited."

"Lucky for everyone," Turtle stated with a nod. "Except for him."

"I think he knows how to live with it," What's-Her-Name said, pleasantly. She liked this girl. "So what's your name--"

There was a dull thud.

"Wexler," she answered. "Turtle Wexler. I--"

She blinked at the thud, staring forward a little, not entirely sure she wanted to turn around to see what that had been, but she turned anyway.

The cow blinked up at her. "Moo," it said.

Turtle narrowed her eyes slightly at the cow. "Did you just squish the princess, cow?" she accused.

The cow gave her big, watery cow eyes, then proceeded to chew its cud.

Intergalactic Justice, Tuesday Period One

Re: Save the Princess!

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