fandomhigh | Intergalactic Justice, Tuesday Period One

"Today, my little critters of learnitude, we finish our class with a GAUNTLET!"

Jim was appropriately gung-ho for the occasion. "This shop-- this DANGER SHOP has been set up with the defining laws of my universe. You must choose! Choose your weapons! Choose your enemy! And SAVE MY LOVELY BUTTERFINGERS OF JUSTICE!"

Jim coughed to clear his throat, then helpfully indicated the cardboard cut-out of an unusually attractive, bee-like woman all the way at the back of the Danger Shop. "Unfortunately," he continued, "My sidekick, Peter, couldn't be here today to give you the skinny on the second assignment. I will just have to take his place and hope the Great Worm Spirit forgives me!"

He held up a little cardboard mask of an anthromorphic dog up to his face. "Hi, class!" he said, in a high-pitched voice, "Fighting peril and righting wrongs in the galaxy is kind of a big, um, terrifying job, but it's really nothing compared to the dangers of, uh, haggis. See, haggis is... the heart... lungs... and liver... of a sheep... boiled in its own--"

Theatrically, Jim choked up a little. Then pulled the mask away from his face. "Sometimes," he said, with ceremony, "You just can't avoid haggis. Now! Get to it, my little chums!"

[ ~~wait for the~~ ocd up! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Now y'r just makin' it WORSE!" Bob shrieked, clearly enraged. "Shakin' baby!"

He gestured wildly at the pond that laid behind him. Or, more accurately, the tuna therein. "Avenge our brother! Take back the land under the feet of this killer of cousins and riiIIIIse UP! DESTROY! DESTROY!"

The tuna swam.

Lee blinked at the swimming fish.

"Um." He backed away as far as he could. "Stop that. Look, I brought you your cousin and you're attacking me?"

"...Jus' a lil' destruction here, fellas?" Bob asked of the tuna. "Please?"

The tuna kept on swimming their circle.

"Oh, for lord's sake. You!" He pointed a fin at Lee, "You're trespassin' and bringin' me the bodies of my people! Number four! Trounce this ill-begotten son of a monkah!"

Cat Number Four moved his hand a little. The one with the bowl in it.

"Look, do you want your cousin?" Lee asked, keeping an eye on everyone. "I don't want any trouble. Just take your cousin and stop trying to attack me."

"We must have VENGEANCE!" Bob declared. "NUMBER FOUR! NOW! TROUNCE HIM WITH ALLA YER MIGHT!"

Lacking any real weaponry and being compelled to follow Bob's orders, Number Four dutifully threw the fishbowl at Lee.

"Oh frak!" Lee said, dropping the herring so he could try and juggle the damn bowl. "Was that really necessary!?"

"NUMBER FOUR!" Bob spluttered. His speech came out a little garbled. Being juggled would do that to a goldfish, "Remember the talk we had about NOT THROWIN' MAH BOWL?"

A pause. "Uh, hi," he said unto Lee.

"Hi," Lee said, looking down. "Now, can we go about this peacefully before I drop you?"

"...Yeah," Bob said, after giving it a moment's thought, "That, uh, sounds like an idea."

"Okay." Lee nodded. "I'm going to give you back to the guy that was just holding you. I'm leaving your cousin here. You give me your word that you send nothing to attack me. I'm not letting you go until you give me your word."

And, with that, he held the bowl out with his arms, threatening to drop him.

"Alright alright," Bob squeaked, flailing his fins a little more. "You got mah word, you got mah word! Number four!"

The giant cat lumbered forwards in a peaceful kind of way.

"Good," Lee said and gently handed the fish bowl over. "It was nice talking with you."

Ignoring Lee completely as soon as Number Four took him, Bob ordered Four 'The hell outta dodge!'. He could last be caught muttering something about 'bottomfeedin' land dwellers' as Four carried him dutifully into the sunset.

Intergalactic Justice, Tuesday Period One

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish

Re: Pick an Opponent - Bob the Goldfish