fandomhigh | Punching People and Not Breaking Your Hand: Fighting 101 - Period 5

Frowning slightly as he watched all the kids file in for class, Deadpool crossed his arms over his chest.

"So it seems we're not around France anymore. There go my plans to teach Savate and let you kick clowns..."

It was sad, really. Kicking clowns was excellent exercise. Good cardio.

"Instead, now that we seem to be vaguely South Pacific in that adorable Rogers and Hammerstein kinda way, I'll be showing you a few basic moves in Muay Thai. Because elbowing and kneeing people in the chest is so much more fun," He told them all cheerfully.

"There will be four basic moves to learn here. The elbow strike, the knee strike, hanuman and the flying knee." He squinted at them for a moment. "And no, these aren't going to be done on each other. I'd rather not get punched by the principal if I can help it. Sure, she's got that MILF thing working for her now, but it's just bad form to toss you all in a room to have a battle royale..."

Deadpool sighed dreamily.

"...Maybe someday." Shaking his head, Deadpool snapped out of it. "Partner up to help each other with form and try these on the punching bags. They usually don't hit back and now that I've said that we're doomed to being attacked by them for the beret thing."

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"You're the one that wants to talk," she said, frowning. "I guess a cafe is fine, or the Perk, or whatever."

"As you prefer," he said. "We can talk when we get there."

Deadpool coughed politely.

He just wanted to eat his cookies, really.

"This is all painfully awkward to listen to and all, but... shoo. I have cookies to eat and your emo is messing up the experience."

Ino rolled her eyes at him. "Fine," Ino said to Liir, "I'll talk to you there."

"And you," she said severely, to Deadpool-san, "just eat your cookies, okay?"

"What does that word mean?" he snapped. He'd heard it used on the radio in conjunction with him twice and now this?

"Whiney, emotional, needs to learn to play the guitar right, needs stay away from the eyeliner..." Deadpool shrugged. "I has many meanings."

That got a very flat look.

"Then it's being misused."

"Well maybe you should learn to play guitar."

He just smirked.

"I'd rather learn to hit people. Hence my spot here in this class."

"See, that can also be emo," Deadpool pointed out helpfully. "If your parents died tragically. Or if you have some elaborate destiny. Or maybe you dress up like a rodent to fight crime..."

"Beaten to death and melted by water," he answered crisply. "Though the only destiny I have is an eventual pine box some ways down the line.

"...I won't even dignify that last one with an answer, though."

"Well welcome to the club," Deadpool replied, waving dismissively. "I think everyone has dead parents."

A beat.

"Except Turtle. I've met hers. Her mom was like a stick figure. God help Turtle if she takes after her when she gets older."

"Thank you."

And to be honest, he took it rather sedately. They were, after all, no more or less dead for being related to him and after the initial shock?

Well, just how things were.

"I can't say I've met Turtle's parents, but I'm sure they're perfectly nice."

"No, not so much. Her mom was a bit of a harpy. Her dad was a nice enough guy, though."

"That also seems to happen."

...he would have said 'scorpion' for his own mother, but that was just semantics.

But scorpions, you see, lack that certain panache to make it extra mean.

Unless you're the Rock.

(Worst movie ever.)

Deadpool just nodded faintly. "So... cookie time. Shoo. You go have fun emoing it up with Ino there."

He folded his arms.

"I'm not bloody 'emo'. Annoyed is not emotional."

"You say poh-tay-toe, I say poh-tah-toe."

He just rolled his eyes, snorted, and went about his day.

Punching People and Not Breaking Your Hand: Fighting 101 - Period 5 - [06/02]

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