fandomhigh | How to be a Comic Book Superhero (Monday, outside the Kwik Stop)

Entry tags:

how to be a superhero

How to be a Comic Book Superhero (Monday, outside the Kwik Stop)

Today's topic, as written on Bob's whiteboard?

'PUBLICITY:
How not to be a 'tard like the dude in that last movie'

Jay, however, was on top of the Kwik Stop, hefting a baseball bat above his head. "Come, son of Jor-El! Kneel before Zod!"

Bob rolled his eyes and wrote 'What Not To Do' with an arrow snaking upwards. Then he wrote 'Good Publicity' and 'Bad Publicity' with a line separating them. Time for the one-sided discussion portion of the class.

After that, Bob erased the board and wrote, 'SIDEKICKS?'. And, finally, 'LAST CLASS NEXT WEEK. Bring all class materials.'

[['Class materials' means the bong sabers, the inflatable doll, the duct tape, etc. OCD ~~coming~~ up.]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Rikku bit her lip. "Oh. It's, uh, that kinda thing, huh? Sorry. Yeah."

Luke waved his hand, looking sheepish. "Sorry, long month. You get to deal with a really fun Luke. I apologize."

"Don't be silly," she said, giving him a sympathetic smile. "I mean, I know the drill, the whole 'hey, let's list off the people who shouldn't be dead.' And that's before the whole ..." She dropped her voice. "You know. Mess you've got going right now. Hey, I was emo enough last month. You totally get a turn."

"That list is coming around for the first time this month," Luke said softly. "And Tori's leaving soon, and Rory before that and I'll just be stuck here with him, and can we do ice cream and wallowing soon?"

"We can totally do ice cream and wallowing soon," Rikku said, nodding. "Get some PJs or else you'll be stuck with the really embarrassing ones Dawn and I picked out for you. And we might make you wear them anyway. And we have totally-cute-but-boyfriend-safe ones for ourselves and - oh! I might be, uh, out of town later this week, but that's just a couple days, so any time you wanna wallow that isn't then is good." She was blushing a little so she stammered on to the next point she could think of, an entirely tactless one. "H-have you tried ... talking to him? Or you're still doing the never-talking-to-him-again? 'Cause that's okay, too, I'm not gonna judge, here. He, uh, he was kinda worried about you in --"

Her eyes got wide. "Class! Flying! He got all SOMEONE IS MESSING WITH LUKE and stomped off and you were in Umbridge's office and are you okay!? I was going to ask and it's been so crazy that I totally forgot and did she hurt you!? Because I will beat her and I have a Godhand and I totally think I could take her."

Luke's mouth had dropped open a bit at Rikku's stream of consciousness. "I'm fine," he said, quietly. "It's nothing that won't heal. And no, I haven't talked to him. He's been calling but I haven't been picking up and he can just learn that someone's said no to him for once in his life."

"'It'll heal' is not the same as 'fine'," she said darkly. "She hexed my legs on backwards. I had to get Hermione to take it off again. And I was being nice."

She considered for a minute. "Okay, not nice, really? But I mean, I was almost civil. Just kinda indifferent. I wasn't actually trying to piss her off or anything, I just didn't care much. That's ... and so she zapped me, you know? It's insane." She made a face. "And she's got it in for Hermione. This is gonna be bad."

Luke frowned. "Well, she'll have to get around us first," he declared. He gave her an appraising look, then rolled up his left sleeve to show her the scar stretching down his forearm. "This was to prove she could," he said quietly, "which was probably what my father felt. I was...surprised."

Rikku stared for a long moment, face impassive.

"So, uh, this is where I'm supposed to be all mature and not stomp over there and attempt to feed her her own lungs, right?"

"If you wouldn't mind," Luke said with a wry smile. "She's still alive and I know my father saw her...so she has to be pretty formidable."

Rikku nodded. "Okay. Yeah. Gonna be mature here. And just ask you to not, uh, make yourself more of a target than you have, like, I know we're probably gonna do something at some point, 'cause we have to, but I mean the amusing crap like 'hahaha, I showed her, OH GREAT, MY EYE.' Being mature."

She nodded again. And then made a face. "Do I have to? 'Cause the lungs thing really ... seems more appropriate and all. That bitch."

"I'm not planning on coming any closer to her than, well, this," he said. "Not by myself. I can annoy from a distance if it becomes necessary, and ignoring her decrees is easy enough. I have no urge to paint myself blue and parade around waving a sign that says 'Umbridge is a poodoo head.'"

Rikku cracked up. "Oh, man. But that would be awesome. She couldn't even be mad, she'd just think you were crazy."

"Massive non-existent gremlin bite epidemic?" Luke asked, eyes sparkling.

Rikku clapped her hands. "You know, I totally said a minute ago that we shouldn't pester her. But ... Hermione and I were talking, and we think ... maybe she just really, really needs a hug. You know? Or several. Probably a big group one."

"Group hug," Luke said. "Don't go near her alone. Hermione especially."

"Oh!" Rikku flailed a little. "This was, you know. The idea was, there'd be a lot of us going, to do the hug thing. We'd pretend it was an Al Bhed national holiday and have signs and everything. I wouldn't go to her office alone at this point, 'cause if I did, either I'd punch her or she'd do something sick to me and either way, wow, that goes bad places fast."

Luke gave her a soft smile. "Sorry," he said, "I trust you. I've just had it up to my ears with people walking up to her office because they think they can take her. I'd be hexing people too, frankly."

No he wouldn't.

"I was facepalming at me," she said, shaking her head. "For not explaining that. I mean. I just said four seconds ago that I wanted to go splatter her into a wall or something, and not to tick her off, and now I'm going 'Let's all give her hugs.' Great, yeah? And ... maybe it's a bad idea anyway. She's ..."

Rikku moved a little closer, dropping her voice. "Luke? I think she's crazy. Like, not just mean, but ... she's not going to back down. Someone's gonna get hurt. Maybe we shouldn't be ticking her off at all. I'm not running scared of her, honest. I just ... she's gonna snap, and it's gonna be ugly, and it may not be somebody that can defend themselves."

No, he wouldn't.

And if Umbridge snapped and seriously maimed someone she cared about, then she would take her Godhand to that office, logic be damned.

Luke nodded vigorously. "I know what you mean. She's like a bomb about to go off. But so are some of the students. If she says the wrong thing to the wrong one who doesn't have control over their powers, this could get really, really ugly."

He rand a hand through his hair. "I tried to tell her that. She wasn't impressed with my insights." He shrugged a shoulder. "She wasn't impressed with me at all."

"She's not impressed with anybody but herself," Rikku said coldly. "She's got her ideas and her little boxes and that's how the world is because she said so. I almost called her a Yevonite."

"Not a compliment," Luke said, making a face. "I know a couple of Huttese curses that apply, but I'm not supposed to know those words."

"She's just like them. It's kind of ..." Rikku shuddered. "They know something's a lie, but they want it to be the truth, so they say it is. Because if they say it, then it will be, and it's a pretty lie, and the truth is just ugly and harsh. So this is the truth now,and if you're caught telling lies, then we'll kill you, because you can't threaten our truth. The real truth. The one that should be."

Luke nodded. "It sounds a bit familiar," he said quietly.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How to be a Comic Book Superhero (Monday, outside the Kwik Stop)

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?

Re: Sidekicks?