fandomhigh | How to be a Comic Book Superhero (Monday, outside the Kwik Stop)

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how to be a superhero

How to be a Comic Book Superhero (Monday, outside the Kwik Stop)

Today's topic, as written on Bob's whiteboard?

'PUBLICITY:
How not to be a 'tard like the dude in that last movie'

Jay, however, was on top of the Kwik Stop, hefting a baseball bat above his head. "Come, son of Jor-El! Kneel before Zod!"

Bob rolled his eyes and wrote 'What Not To Do' with an arrow snaking upwards. Then he wrote 'Good Publicity' and 'Bad Publicity' with a line separating them. Time for the one-sided discussion portion of the class.

After that, Bob erased the board and wrote, 'SIDEKICKS?'. And, finally, 'LAST CLASS NEXT WEEK. Bring all class materials.'

[['Class materials' means the bong sabers, the inflatable doll, the duct tape, etc. OCD ~~coming~~ up.]]

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"Group hug," Luke said. "Don't go near her alone. Hermione especially."

"Oh!" Rikku flailed a little. "This was, you know. The idea was, there'd be a lot of us going, to do the hug thing. We'd pretend it was an Al Bhed national holiday and have signs and everything. I wouldn't go to her office alone at this point, 'cause if I did, either I'd punch her or she'd do something sick to me and either way, wow, that goes bad places fast."

Luke gave her a soft smile. "Sorry," he said, "I trust you. I've just had it up to my ears with people walking up to her office because they think they can take her. I'd be hexing people too, frankly."

No he wouldn't.

"I was facepalming at me," she said, shaking her head. "For not explaining that. I mean. I just said four seconds ago that I wanted to go splatter her into a wall or something, and not to tick her off, and now I'm going 'Let's all give her hugs.' Great, yeah? And ... maybe it's a bad idea anyway. She's ..."

Rikku moved a little closer, dropping her voice. "Luke? I think she's crazy. Like, not just mean, but ... she's not going to back down. Someone's gonna get hurt. Maybe we shouldn't be ticking her off at all. I'm not running scared of her, honest. I just ... she's gonna snap, and it's gonna be ugly, and it may not be somebody that can defend themselves."

No, he wouldn't.

And if Umbridge snapped and seriously maimed someone she cared about, then she would take her Godhand to that office, logic be damned.

Luke nodded vigorously. "I know what you mean. She's like a bomb about to go off. But so are some of the students. If she says the wrong thing to the wrong one who doesn't have control over their powers, this could get really, really ugly."

He rand a hand through his hair. "I tried to tell her that. She wasn't impressed with my insights." He shrugged a shoulder. "She wasn't impressed with me at all."

"She's not impressed with anybody but herself," Rikku said coldly. "She's got her ideas and her little boxes and that's how the world is because she said so. I almost called her a Yevonite."

"Not a compliment," Luke said, making a face. "I know a couple of Huttese curses that apply, but I'm not supposed to know those words."

"She's just like them. It's kind of ..." Rikku shuddered. "They know something's a lie, but they want it to be the truth, so they say it is. Because if they say it, then it will be, and it's a pretty lie, and the truth is just ugly and harsh. So this is the truth now,and if you're caught telling lies, then we'll kill you, because you can't threaten our truth. The real truth. The one that should be."

Luke nodded. "It sounds a bit familiar," he said quietly.

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How to be a Comic Book Superhero (Monday, outside the Kwik Stop)

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