fandomhigh | Dealing with Stupid People [Monday, June 25, 2nd period]

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stupid people

Dealing with Stupid People [Monday, June 25, 2nd period]

"Okay, people this is gonna be a...thing...so I recommend coffee. Lots of coffee."

Josh, personally, was on his sixth cup.

"For your final class, I wanted to present you with a challenge." There was a dangerous spark in his eyes. "So I found a couple of special guests. Ladies and gentlemen, the Jerries!"

He hissed to the class, "Ixnay on talk about the overnmentgay."

This...should be something.

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Both Jerries leaned in, dropping their voices.

"Not officially, Jerry."

"Do you know what sort of intrigue it would cause to declare war now?"

"The mafia is everywhere, Jerry!"

"Their pigeons are spying on us!"

"How are we to fight a war against the mafia's pigeons?"

"They sleep on our roof!"

"They watch our every move!"

"They scan our brains right through its tinfoil!"

"I had my tinfoil removed, Jerry!"

"For your protection!"

"The pigeons can't eat all of that tinfoil!"

"No! They'll drown first!"

Both Jerries laughed a bit evilly.

"Your plan is to kill the mafia's pigeons? Er, how will that help you?" Inara didn't know much about the mafia or pigeons, but it sounded...like it might have been what they were trying to convey.

"Shhhhhhhh!" yelled one Jerry, flailing a bit.

"We never said that! Never!"

"She said that, not us!"

"We would never plot against you, mafia pigeons!"

"Do not eat our brains!"

"There are tastier brains in the ice cream shop!"

"They store them in the freezers!"

"It was her! It was her! It was her!"

Both Jerries began running around in circles, screaming.

Inara threw her hands up to make sure they ran in a radius. "Lad--er, Gentle--er, Jerries!" She raised her voice to be heard over the screaming, "I'm sure you're fine! I didn't do anything, I was just trying to clarify what you said. The pigeons are..." She was stumped for ideas, then remembered something she'd seen on the cortex, "they're double agents! Working for the authorities."

Both Jerries stopped abruptly and stared at her.

"Double agents?!"

"The pigeons ... the pigeons are helping us, Jerry!"

"I knew it all along, Jerry!"

"No wonder! The tinfoil is ours!"

"We shall eat the freezer-brains! Not them!"

"They can pass our messages along to Canada!"

"I've never had my own mafia pigeon before, Jerry."

"Whatever shall we feed them!?"

Freezer-brains? "What do non-mafia pigeons eat? Maybe it's similar?" Inara suggested, trying to be helpful, but really just thankful the screaming and running had stopped.

"Jerry, don't be silly!" laughed one Jerry.

"All pigeons work for the mafia."

"They train them from birth!"

"They are hatched for it specifically!"

"The ones who fail are shipped off to Greenway!"

"Where we find them and sell them in our excellent store."

"Only the best for the tourists!"

"Oh? Where is this store?" Inara asked.

"Our fabulous store!" announced one Jerry proudly.

"Our one and only location!"

"In West Mexico, Greenland!"

"In West Sweden, Mexiland!"

"In West Fandom, Swedway!"

"It is our newest store, Jerry!"

"We have seven of them at present!"

"We shall hire you to work in one of them!"

"We are sure you will like our references, Jerry!"

"We filled out your resume perfectly!"

Inara realized that she had no idea where the store was. "Thank you very much for the offer, but I, er, already have a job."

"You must hire us, Jerry!" one Jerry protested.

"If we have no job, how will we eat?!"

"If we have no job, how will we find shoelaces!?"

"If we have no job, how will we feed the donkeys!?"

"We have no donkeys, Jerry!"

"The donkeys ran away!"

"The donkeys drowned!"

"The donkeys ran away because they drowned!"

"How will we ever give the donkeys their plastic wrap now, Jerry!?"

"This is all your fault!"

They didn't seem very happy about it.

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Dealing with Stupid People [Monday, June 25, 2nd period]

Re: Talk to the Guests!

Re: Talk to the Guests!

Re: Talk to the Guests!

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Re: Talk to the Guests!

Re: Talk to the Guests!

Re: Talk to the Guests!

Re: Talk to the Guests!

Re: Talk to the Guests!

Re: Talk to the Guests!

Re: Talk to the Guests!