Sex Ed the GOB Bluth Way #2, Monday, Period 3

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

By the main campfire, a several tables with stools were set up.

When everyone had shown up and taken a seat, GOB smiled. "Hello, class. It's been brought to my attention that some of you don't think I have any idea what I'm talking about when it comes to sex. I'll have you know that I have at least one son who worships the ground I walk on and probably a few more kids that I've never even heard about."

"With that out of the way," GOB said, even though he didn't really need a segue for reasons that should be fairly obvious, "let's move to a subject that I know a lot about: getting a potential sexual partner drunk. Or as I like to call it, ."

"Now, at least one person in this class thinks that the suggestion that any of you are attractive is wrong, so booze is pretty much only shot any of you have with her. Try to figure out who little miss diva is. If you can identify her to me before the end of class, you'll get some extra credit!"

"Booze is the great equalizer. When someone is way too hot for you, or too stuck up, or otherwise kind of a bitch but you want to get into his or her pants anyway, the best way to do this is to get them drunk. This works best if you're both at a bar."

"The direct method to getting someone drunk if you're just meeting them is to walk up to them, try some sort of line to chat them up, then offer to buy them a drink. Bad lines include 'Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!' and 'Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?' That one makes them think you think they're a prostitute. If she's not a prostitute, she will take offense to that. A guy will probably take the money."

"If you're a chicken, you can always have the bartender just bring your target a drink and make sure he points you out. If your target gives any indication that they appreciate the gesture, don't be a wuss. Walk over there and start talking. You don't necessarily have to use a line here, but if you have a good one it can't hurt too much."

"A riskier method is to scope out somebody who's already had a few and try to swoop in and pick them up. If this interrupts somebody else trying to get them drunk, you might have a fight on your hands. If the person was just getting themselves plastered, you may be dealing with a depressed person. If it's the right kind of depression, though, you're in. Being a rebound can be a lot of fun."

"You can also try to get a person drunk by throwing a drink at their face and hoping they swallow enough of it to make a difference, but that usually doesn't work," GOB said. He probably wasn't being serious.

"It works the other way, too. Are you way too attractive or bitchy for people like little miss perfect? Do you still want to get some action despite this? Get yourself drunk and see who you end up with at the end of the night. It's not always the best way of doing things -" GOB knew that well, "- but it keeps things interesting."

"For today's activity, you're going to try to get somebody drunk. Since this is a school thing, I can't actually give you booze according to a nasty letter the dean of students sent me, but we have various non-alcoholic drinks to make up for that and you can pretend it's actual booze. Four of you will sit at one of these tables and have anything you want to drink. My assistant Tino will be playing the part of a bartender."

"Everyone else will be able to walk up to as many people they want and try to score through fake alcoholic bribery. Bug Tino to give them something. Walk up and chat them up. If you can get them to have two drinks or agree to leave their seat with you, you win. If they stop accepting your drinks or tell you to go away, you lose. Simple as that."

"Now let's get some people fake drunk!"

[OOC: Anyone looking to get the extra credit by outing she who thinks she's better than everyone else can do so in the Talk to GOB thread.

Also, there is no extra credit.

Standard availability applies.]

Comments

Sign In

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

Collapse like a filthy drunk!

Re: Sign In

[senor-chado.livejournal.com]

Yasutora Sado

Re: Sign In

[ktarian-wildman.livejournal.com]

Naomi Wildman

Re: Sign In

[turtle-techie.livejournal.com]

Donatello

During the lecture

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

Take notes, ignore GOB, talk, whatever you'll do while the teacher is talking.

Re: During the lecture

[senor-chado.livejournal.com]

Chad always was the student to mindless take notes and then headtilt at them later.

Re: During the lecture

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Johnny didn't take notes, but he was listening pretty good.

Re: During the lecture

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

Isabel pretty much facepalmed through most of the lecture.

Re: During the lecture

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Inara had an entire speech ready on the ethics (or lack thereof) involved in getting someone drunk and then having sex with them, took one look at GOB, shut her mouth, and put her head down on her desk.

Re: During the lecture

[senor-chado.livejournal.com]

Chad's head tilted as Inara's head hit her desk. "You okay?"

Re: During the lecture

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"It's like every word out of the man's mouth is wrong," Inara said quietly to the top of her desk, "and crass, crude, unethical and contrary to every rule of polite human interaction."

Re: During the lecture

[notajar]

Door takes notes, though it's possible some of them might be things like 'Clearly he has taught this class before, and my drunk Irish not-Seely roomie took it.'

Activity! Get Someone Drunk!

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

As stated in the post, the rules are like this: four of you sit down and can order any non-alcoholic drink you want to start with from the moddable Tino (just so that you're not a crazy person sitting at a bar with nothing, just waiting for people to buy you something). The rest of you get to go to any and all of these sitting people that you want to try to get them to accept two drinks. You can take any of the methods GOB mentioned in the lecture to get them to accept those drinks. Tino is fully moddable to you, too.

If the sitting person says no to either drink or just tells you to go away, you're done. Move on. If the sitting person accepts the second drink or a direct offer of going to dance/get out of here/make out/etc, you win. If you are a sitting person and accept either of those things, please continue to sit down for anyone else who wants to try to score. You can always actually hook up with a charming person after class.

Please only take one of the sitting positions if you'll be around a good amount of time to answer pings.

Bar 1

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

If there is a volunteer would like to have people try to get you fake drunk and have the time to accept advances, sit down now.

Re: Bar 1

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Johnny sat down and ordered a coke. This? he thought, should be interesting.

Re: Bar 1

[senor-chado.livejournal.com]

If word got around that Chad was buying drinks for other hot guys, he could potentially get in a lot of trouble. But...it was a class excersize and he'd always tried to have been a good student, and Chad hoped he could stick with that as an excuse for what he was thinking instead of what happened the last time he bought guys drinks...

...True, those drinks had been extremely potent in their alcoholic content, but those were good memories. And that's why....er, not why! He had to stick to the class excuse!...he had Tino bring Johnny another Coke, from 'that really big Mexican fellow with the Japanese eyes.' and then got ready to flash the thumbs up when Johnny looked his way.

Totally for class exercise. Totally.

Bar 2

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

If there is a volunteer would like to have people try to get you fake drunk and have the time to accept advances, sit down now.

Re: Bar 2

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow sat at the bar with a diet soda and waited for folks to approach her.

Bar 3

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

If there is a volunteer would like to have people try to get you fake drunk and have the time to accept advances, sit down now.

Re: Bar 3

[turtle-techie.livejournal.com]

Donatello sat down and ordered a glass of orange juice, hoping very hard that no one would actually try hitting on him.

Bar 4

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

If there is a volunteer would like to have people try to get you fake drunk and have the time to accept advances, sit down now.

Talk to GOB

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

During or after class, here's the place to ping him or offer to buy him a drink.

Re: Talk to GOB

[notajar]

...In for a penny, in for a pound, right? Door skips right past her classmates, and walks up to the teacher. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Re: Talk to GOB

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

GOB gave Door a quick lookover. "I'm technically not a teacher. Sure. I'll have a Sco..." GOB frowned. Stupid school. "Coke, I guess."

OOC

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

See? We're within GOB's expertise at the moment.