fandomhigh | Tuesday, May 15th - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to Carrots, Spleenology, and so on

This class was not actually located at the large campfire, as the teachers had decided that the campfires had demon spirits within them and thus were planted by the truckers union to watch them. You couldn't be too careful with truckers' union demons. And the teachers weren't entirely sure if they counted as vampires anyway.

So instead students would be reporting to the lovely Activities Area, which looked suspiciously like the Dining Hall. Chairs were lined up neatly in rows, and there was a bulletin board with helpful information. Okay, the bulletin board actually had coupons on it for Dinty Moore soup, but coupons are helpful.

Just before class was about to begin, two men wearing housecoats over flannel pajamas entered the room. One of them had a blonde wig (price tag still attached) and red lipstick smeared oddly around his face, and the other had a darker wig and at least three days' worth of stubble. If any students were hoping that these were not going to be their instructors, they ~~shouldn't have signed up for a class with such a stupid name~~ were going to be greatly disappointed.

"WELCOME!" shouted one of the men. It didn't matter which. It really didn't.

"Welcome to our wooooorkshop!"

"It does not have any dangerous chemicals!"

"Not many at all."

"We have not arranged for any to be delivered today!"

"My name is Jerry Sizzler," said one, gesturing to the complete opposite direction from where the other stood, "and this is my sister --"

"-- Jerry SIZZler," he supplied.

"We are, of course, your instructors --"

"And not two clearly insane people."

"Right, right. And His Majesty the Grand Archduke of Findleyburg will be our assistant."

"We bribed him with an antique Persian vase!" Which wasn't true. They had bribed the TA with 32 cents in change, which they thought were rare Turkish coins.

"This class will have domestic tips for the modern lady --"

"-- As well as sexual education for the elderly --"

"-- And some notes on how to improve your golf game."

Both of them nodded.

"Now! For our first class! We should like each of you to introduce yourselves and explain how it is that you came to Greenland."

"West Greenland."

"West Fandom, Mexiland!"

"Yes, yes. And then we shall get to the educational portion of things."

[~~Wait for OCD~~ OCD up! If you're unfamiliar with the Jerries, this infopost might help, but really, all you need to know is that they're insane.]

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Donnie had a grape scented marker and a copy of the Fandom Hightimes (http://community.livejournal.com/fhightimes/10866.html), which he was reading with a bit of amusement. "Rover...?"

"Yes?" said one Jerry expectantly.

"No, Jerry, he said 'Rover.'"

"Oh! I thought he was calling his dog."

Both nodded and walked away again.

Jim walked up to... the... giant turtle? Sometimes you had to love this town. "Hey. I kind of want to avoid death, so I need a partner. Want to team up?"

"Sure," Donnie said, looking relieved. "You're Jim, right?"

"Yes. But don't tell the Jerries that. They won't remember anyway," Jim said. "'Donatello.' That's not a very common name."

"Not since the Renaissance," he agreed, watching the Jerries somewhat worriedly. "Do you know them?"

"They have a shop in town. I'm technically working there now, but I'm not sure they know that," Jim explained.

"That seems like it'd be awkward," Donnie said, unfolding the paper out so Jim could see it too.

"How are we doing here?" asked the Jerries, hovering in a very teacher-like manner and not anything stalkerly like at all.

"Have you found the words?"

"Our words are missing."

"The donkeys stole them."

Both Jerries nodded sadly.

"Not really," Jim said. "I just walk in whenever I want and have fun bartering with people. If the Jerries are there, they just act crazy in the background until they get bored. You should come by sometime and see if you can trade some crap for some garbage."

Jim picked up a cherry marker and started looking for those monkey messages or whatever the assignment theoretically was. He didn't really pay much attention to the prompt.

"I'll have to try it," Donnie said, and he settled in to circle words pretty much randomly.

Tuesday, May 15th - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to Carrots, Spleenology, and so on

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)

Re: The Educational Bits (No, Really)