fandomhigh | Tuesday, May 15th - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to Carrots, Spleenology, and so on

This class was not actually located at the large campfire, as the teachers had decided that the campfires had demon spirits within them and thus were planted by the truckers union to watch them. You couldn't be too careful with truckers' union demons. And the teachers weren't entirely sure if they counted as vampires anyway.

So instead students would be reporting to the lovely Activities Area, which looked suspiciously like the Dining Hall. Chairs were lined up neatly in rows, and there was a bulletin board with helpful information. Okay, the bulletin board actually had coupons on it for Dinty Moore soup, but coupons are helpful.

Just before class was about to begin, two men wearing housecoats over flannel pajamas entered the room. One of them had a blonde wig (price tag still attached) and red lipstick smeared oddly around his face, and the other had a darker wig and at least three days' worth of stubble. If any students were hoping that these were not going to be their instructors, they ~~shouldn't have signed up for a class with such a stupid name~~ were going to be greatly disappointed.

"WELCOME!" shouted one of the men. It didn't matter which. It really didn't.

"Welcome to our wooooorkshop!"

"It does not have any dangerous chemicals!"

"Not many at all."

"We have not arranged for any to be delivered today!"

"My name is Jerry Sizzler," said one, gesturing to the complete opposite direction from where the other stood, "and this is my sister --"

"-- Jerry SIZZler," he supplied.

"We are, of course, your instructors --"

"And not two clearly insane people."

"Right, right. And His Majesty the Grand Archduke of Findleyburg will be our assistant."

"We bribed him with an antique Persian vase!" Which wasn't true. They had bribed the TA with 32 cents in change, which they thought were rare Turkish coins.

"This class will have domestic tips for the modern lady --"

"-- As well as sexual education for the elderly --"

"-- And some notes on how to improve your golf game."

Both of them nodded.

"Now! For our first class! We should like each of you to introduce yourselves and explain how it is that you came to Greenland."

"West Greenland."

"West Fandom, Mexiland!"

"Yes, yes. And then we shall get to the educational portion of things."

[~~Wait for OCD~~ OCD up! If you're unfamiliar with the Jerries, this infopost might help, but really, all you need to know is that they're insane.]

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Sokka waved his hand in the air wildly.

"Excuse me? Excuse me, Captain Findley? What happened to your toast?"

"I'm afraid I ate it, oh ponytailed one," Hamlet replied. "I had it for breakfast one morning with jam and peanut butter on top, and a nice glass of orange juice and a bowl of oatmeal on the side. However, I do know where you can obtain more bread of you own if you are that desperate for toast."

"Aw, man!" Sokka complained. "You're making sense! That spoils the fun!"

"... And it's NOT A PONYTAIL!!!"

He shrugged. "Sadly, I'm the sane one in this equation, although I'll gladly go along with whatever madness anyone else wishes to sprout. After all, here in West Mexigreenland, the hawks will sometimes chase after ponytails with handsaws."

Sokka carefully looked Hamlet up and down. Yeah, he could take him. Probably.

"Say 'ponytail' again and I'll rip out that thing in your lip."

Hamlet feigned ignorance.

"What, my cold sore? Surely you aren't threatening to steal Herpes from me."

"Yes," Sokka answered, giving him the Raised Eyebrow of Doom. "I'm going to rip off your large, metal cold sore. Whatever it is, I'm sure me grabbing and pulling will hurt." He waggled his eyebrows. "So, NO 'PONYTAIL'. Capisce?"

Tuesday, May 15th - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to Carrots, Spleenology, and so on

Re: Our Illustrious TA

Re: Our Illustrious TA

Re: Our Illustrious TA

Re: Our Illustrious TA

Re: Our Illustrious TA

Re: Our Illustrious TA

Re: Our Illustrious TA