fandomhigh | Stabbing People for Fun and Profit: Mercenary Work for Beginners, Monday, Period 4

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mercenary work

Stabbing People for Fun and Profit: Mercenary Work for Beginners, Monday, Period 4

Deadpool was practically bouncing with glee over this class. He was being allowed to teach impressionable youths about mercenary work, how great was that?

Once all his students, or at least a few of them showed up because he was getting impatient and wanted to get on with the teaching and the shooting fun times.

"Good morning my little mercs in training. First of all, I'd like to clear up any salacious rumors you may have heard on the radio about myself and Professor Yondaime. Contrary to what Aly may have claimed, there was no quickie Vegas style wedding with a classy Venice backdrop, complete with costumes and a little gondola that brought any bride up the aisle. Because that would just be silly and we all know better than to listen to the radio for what the truth is."

He paused and thought that statement over.

"Scratch that, listen when I'm on the radio because I would never lie about stuff like that. Unless I got paid to, at least. A point that brings us to the topic of the day!"

Grinning at his class, Deadpool started to pace back and forth.

"First! Why are you in this class? What do you want to learn? Is this something you want to continue as a career choice? Because let me tell you, there was no mercenary for hire included on those aptitude tests that guidance counselors usually make you take. I know this because there would have been more questions about whether or not you're willing to kill people for money. An poor excuse for an aptitude test if you ask me."

"Second! How far are you willing to go for this? It's a question every merc has to ask themselves when they first start out. Where do they draw the line in what jobs they will take and what they won't take? Will you not kill babies? Or maybe don't want to kick puppies. I'm pretty sure you won't get hired for any puppy kicking jobs, but you never know. It could happen. Be a pretty easy job too." He looked off, lost in thought over such a easy job and if he was willing to kick puppies for money.

Oh, who was he kidding, of course he would. Money was awesome.

"Third! What is your skill level in the fighting, gun work, sword work, explosives, knowledge of bad reality shows about models, breaking and entering skills with a z, and ability to adapt to changes in plans and situations?? All very important and necessary for being a mercenary who lives for more than a year. Seriously. I remember this one kid, we called him No Armed Pete because he didn't have any arms. He didn't last long in the business. Heart attack. It was sad, really."

He bounced on his heels once, waiting for answers from the kiddies. "Well? What are you waiting for?"

[[ooc: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is now up!]]

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Talk to the teacher, poke him with a stick and run, you know...

The usual.

Fraser, with new hat, couldn't resist this. After the class ended, he found his way to Deadpool's room and smiled politely at him.

"I hear congratulations are in order."

And Deadpool somehow pulled Fraser's old hat out of nowhere to taunt him with.

"On what? My awesome class?"

"Oh no," he said, shaking his head. "On your nuptials. I've heard you're officially a taken man."

Deadpool stared at him and each word he replied with was very slow and deliberate. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh, I think you do." Really, this was fun. "I've heard it both from the radio and a reliable source. I would've sent flowers had I known you were going to be tying the knot."

And really, Deadpool was going to torture Aly for this.

"Aly is not a reliable source! She's tricksy and also wanted us to make out more, what does that tell you about her mental state, huh?"

"She's seemed pretty reliable to me," he said and tried not to laugh. It was hard though. "Did you wear my hat to your wedding? That would've been like me almost being there in spirit."

Yup. Gonna kill Aly now.

Deadpool glared at him. "You mention anything about a wedding to Arashi and I will stab you in a place that'll make sure you'll never get happy with a woman ever again, got it?"

Fraser tsk'ed him. He couldn't resist.

"But, I do have a question."

Why couldn't he carry his swords around with him?!

"No, I will not run away with you to Canada."

"That wasn't my question," he said. "But you were close. After that letter you wrote me, I thought we might have something."

Was he pouring it on too thick? Maybe. But still. He'd had his hat stolen!

A little, but it was still weirding Deadpool out.

"You're gonna have a ninja trying to kick your ass if you keep talking like that, you do know that right?"

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