fandomhigh | Stabbing People for Fun and Profit: Mercenary Work for Beginners, Monday, Period 4

Deadpool was practically bouncing with glee over this class. He was being allowed to teach impressionable youths about mercenary work, how great was that?

Once all his students, or at least a few of them showed up because he was getting impatient and wanted to get on with the teaching and the shooting fun times.

"Good morning my little mercs in training. First of all, I'd like to clear up any salacious rumors you may have heard on the radio about myself and Professor Yondaime. Contrary to what Aly may have claimed, there was no quickie Vegas style wedding with a classy Venice backdrop, complete with costumes and a little gondola that brought any bride up the aisle. Because that would just be silly and we all know better than to listen to the radio for what the truth is."

He paused and thought that statement over.

"Scratch that, listen when I'm on the radio because I would never lie about stuff like that. Unless I got paid to, at least. A point that brings us to the topic of the day!"

Grinning at his class, Deadpool started to pace back and forth.

"First! Why are you in this class? What do you want to learn? Is this something you want to continue as a career choice? Because let me tell you, there was no mercenary for hire included on those aptitude tests that guidance counselors usually make you take. I know this because there would have been more questions about whether or not you're willing to kill people for money. An poor excuse for an aptitude test if you ask me."

"Second! How far are you willing to go for this? It's a question every merc has to ask themselves when they first start out. Where do they draw the line in what jobs they will take and what they won't take? Will you not kill babies? Or maybe don't want to kick puppies. I'm pretty sure you won't get hired for any puppy kicking jobs, but you never know. It could happen. Be a pretty easy job too." He looked off, lost in thought over such a easy job and if he was willing to kick puppies for money.

Oh, who was he kidding, of course he would. Money was awesome.

"Third! What is your skill level in the fighting, gun work, sword work, explosives, knowledge of bad reality shows about models, breaking and entering skills with a z, and ability to adapt to changes in plans and situations?? All very important and necessary for being a mercenary who lives for more than a year. Seriously. I remember this one kid, we called him No Armed Pete because he didn't have any arms. He didn't last long in the business. Heart attack. It was sad, really."

He bounced on his heels once, waiting for answers from the kiddies. "Well? What are you waiting for?"

[[ooc: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is now up!]]

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A little, but it was still weirding Deadpool out.

"You're gonna have a ninja trying to kick your ass if you keep talking like that, you do know that right?"

"I had my heart broken!" Fraser took off his new hat and put it against said heart. "I think I have the right to be a little sulky."

Deadpool gave him a pat on the arm. "I'm sure you'll find another Canadian to love. Someday you'll move on from this heartbreak. Just as long as we don't tell your heart. Your achey breaky heart."

He didn't think it'd understand.

"On a happier note," he said, "did someone give you a toaster as wedding gift?"

"No, no toaster yet, but I am hoping for a blender! Oo! Or a panini press. I don't like paninis but I love saying the word. Paniiiniiii."

"Did you take his last name?" Fraser asked.

"No, I think Aly hyphenated it." He glared again. No fair with the tricksy questions! "I will punch you."

"Hyphenated is always good," Fraser agreed. "So, you're not Wade Yondaime-Wilson? It's very fitting. Very masculine. Really."

"His last name is Uzumaki and there was no name changing or wedding or visit to the Pacific coast to meet up with an ex!"

"You sound like a soap opera," Fraser decided. "Did yourself and Professor Yondaime exchange rings?"

"I'll kiss you again if you don't shut up," Wade threatened.

"Where are you registered?" Fraser said, ignoring Deadpool's threat. "I could buy you a shower curtain."

This was going to get him in so much trouble...

Wade had to follow through with his threat and kissed him again.

After being kissed again, Fraser blinked a few times and said, "The shower curtain will even have floral prints."

"No, this is the part where you stop talking and flee like the RCMP that you are!" Wade said, stomping his foot like a petulant child. "I'll do it again, so help me."

"Did you just stomp your foot?" Fraser asked, staring. "You shouldn't teach any future children those manners."

"And you shouldn't be... You!"

Marriage stole his mojo. Damn it.

And that was to make Fraser laugh. Only a little though.

"I was told to wish you joy by the same reliable source as before and you're attempting to insult me. I'm hurt, Professor."

"You let Aly know that I'm going to get her back for this somehow. I don't know when, but it'll happen." And then as an after thought, "And I'll steal your hat again too!"