Stabbing People for Fun and Profit: Mercenary Work for Beginners, Monday, Period 4

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool was practically bouncing with glee over this class. He was being allowed to teach impressionable youths about mercenary work, how great was that?

Once all his students, or at least a few of them showed up because he was getting impatient and wanted to get on with the teaching and the shooting fun times.

"Good morning my little mercs in training. First of all, I'd like to clear up any salacious rumors you may have heard on the radio about myself and Professor Yondaime. Contrary to what Aly may have claimed, there was no quickie Vegas style wedding with a classy Venice backdrop, complete with costumes and a little gondola that brought any bride up the aisle. Because that would just be silly and we all know better than to listen to the radio for what the truth is."

He paused and thought that statement over.

"Scratch that, listen when I'm on the radio because I would never lie about stuff like that. Unless I got paid to, at least. A point that brings us to the topic of the day!"

Grinning at his class, Deadpool started to pace back and forth.

"First! Why are you in this class? What do you want to learn? Is this something you want to continue as a career choice? Because let me tell you, there was no mercenary for hire included on those aptitude tests that guidance counselors usually make you take. I know this because there would have been more questions about whether or not you're willing to kill people for money. An poor excuse for an aptitude test if you ask me."

"Second! How far are you willing to go for this? It's a question every merc has to ask themselves when they first start out. Where do they draw the line in what jobs they will take and what they won't take? Will you not kill babies? Or maybe don't want to kick puppies. I'm pretty sure you won't get hired for any puppy kicking jobs, but you never know. It could happen. Be a pretty easy job too." He looked off, lost in thought over such a easy job and if he was willing to kick puppies for money.

Oh, who was he kidding, of course he would. Money was awesome.

"Third! What is your skill level in the fighting, gun work, sword work, explosives, knowledge of bad reality shows about models, breaking and entering skills with a z, and ability to adapt to changes in plans and situations?? All very important and necessary for being a mercenary who lives for more than a year. Seriously. I remember this one kid, we called him No Armed Pete because he didn't have any arms. He didn't last long in the business. Heart attack. It was sad, really."

He bounced on his heels once, waiting for answers from the kiddies. "Well? What are you waiting for?"

[[ooc: Please wait for the OCD is now up!]]

Comments

Sign In

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Make it collapse or he'll make you collapse.

Re: Sign In

[sound-loyalty.livejournal.com]

Kabuto Yakushi

During the Lecture

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Wonder about his magical wedding and if you should get him a toaster.

The answer to that? Yes. Yes, you should buy him a toaster.

Re: During the Lecture

[snow-white-boy.livejournal.com]

So this was the one Kabuto had mentioned was married to the Hokage.

Haku had serious doubts as to the man's mind.

Re: During the Lecture

[girlzippo.livejournal.com]

Charlie's mostly blinking. And staring. And blinking. Marriage. Puppies? Kill people? Is he really allowed to talk to them about that? And if so, and this is for real... oh, she's so flunking this course.

Re: During the Lecture

[henryoredward.livejournal.com]

Edward was trying to make up his mind about Deadpool. The excited bouncing was rather irksome, but he did like what the teacher was saying.
It didn't take Edward much time to decide that puppy-kicking wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Baby killing, too. But there were probably harsher sentences for that. Did that mean you charged more for the job?
He had really been looking forward to this class.

Re: During the Lecture

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

While everyone else was in Stabbing People for Fun and Profit, Sokka was in a workshop all his own entitled Try to Make It Through The Summer Without Getting Beat Up Too Much.

He had already decided that lesson 1 was Not Letting Deadpool Know You Didn't Sign Up For This On Purpose.

After listening to the lecture, lesson 2 became Sucking Up To Yondaime.

Re: During the Lecture

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

Setsuna? Taking notes. Like a good little minion. And to distract herself from something about a wedding at the beginning of the lecture? Uh...whut? Maybe she would have go back and catch up on Radio after all...

Question 1

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Has it been your dream to be a merc ever since you saw an episode of The A Team?

Re: Question 1

[sound-loyalty.livejournal.com]

Kabuto pushed up his glasses before answering. "Where I'm from, ninja pretty much are mercenaries. And I'm curious to see your take on the job, as opposed to the Yondaime Hokage's views."

Re: Question 1

[snow-white-boy.livejournal.com]

"I don't know what the A-team is," Haku said flatly. "And I have no choice but to be a mercenary or die." Either from starvation, or from being caught by hunter ninja.

Re: Question 1

[girlzippo.livejournal.com]

"Uh... I got signed up to this course by mistake." Charlie paused. "Please don't hate me? Or, uh. Hurt me? Too much?"

Re: Question 1

[socksofcool.livejournal.com]

"I was...actually planning on joining the army," Seely said. "Try and get into the Rangers become a sniper with possible mad black ops skillz and later angst sexily about it."

Re: Question 1

[x5-alec.livejournal.com]

"It's an option," Alec said, a little bemused at Deadpool. "Since I have the training already. But it's not necessarily at the top of my list, either."

Re: Question 1

[turtle-toughguy.livejournal.com]

"There's not a lot of work out there for a guy like me. Might as well be doing something worth my time."

Re: Question 1

[sixstandingby.livejournal.com]

"I don't know what an A Team is but I know this might help me the next time I infiltrate a planet," he said. That really hadn't gone well even though it'd ended up all right.

Re: Question 1

[henryoredward.livejournal.com]

"That's a television show, right?" Edward gave a little shrug. "Never seen it. But I thought if I was going to go around stabbing people anyway, I might as well do it for money." He gave a big grin, and it wasn't very easy to tell if he was joking or not.

Re: Question 1

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

Mel kind of rolled her eyes. "I did jobs mostly to keep myself fed and keep a roof over my head. That and because it's fun."

Re: Question 1

[im-fullmetal.livejournal.com]

Ed shrugged. "I was in the army. I don't want to have to listen to some ambitious, self-serving officer telling me what to do."

...not that he was talking about anyone in particular, really.

Re: Question 1

[jedi-qui.livejournal.com]

"I can honestly say it has never occurred to me to sell my skills that way," Qui-Gon said with utmost dignity. "There are far more important factors to consider than whether someone can pay you or not."

Re: Question 1

[robotboyfetish.livejournal.com]

"Actually... I think I'm kinda sorta joining SHIELD?" Cassie said.

Question 2

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Look at that puppy. Just asking to be kicked. The money would just be an added perk.

Re: Question 2

[sound-loyalty.livejournal.com]

"A job is a job, right?" Kabuto said innocently. "You can't say you'll take a job, and then decide not to do it once you're already committed."

Question 3

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

What can you do? And it better be cool, damn it.

Re: Question 3

[sound-loyalty.livejournal.com]

Tapping his chin, Kabuto thought for a moment. "...I'm a medical ninja. Meaning most of what I do is very fine-tuned chakra control." He smiled. It was a pleasant smile, unless you cared to notice the underlying evil. "It's never wise to underestimate a medical ninja just because you think the term sounds harmless. We're usually some of the most dangerous people you'll ever meet. We know more ways to disrupt the human body than your basic fighters do."

After Class

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Talk to the teacher, poke him with a stick and run, you know...

The usual.

Re: After Class

[just-add-starch.livejournal.com]

Fraser, with new hat, couldn't resist this. After the class ended, he found his way to Deadpool's room and smiled politely at him.

"I hear congratulations are in order."

OOC

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

NO EXPLODEY WORLD

Re: OOC

[sound-loyalty.livejournal.com]

We don't like the world exploding.

Just Wade.