fandomhigh | Library [04/24]

Rikku nodded. "Yeah. It's ... kinda scary. And I want to be sure about it all before ... before we try anything, you know? If we do. I don't want it to be like last time."

She laughed a bit at herself. "Sorry. Just ... yeah. If you could help, that'd be great. I'm not sure what I'm looking for is even going to be here. But I have to start somewhere, right?"

"Yeah, everyone has to start somewhere," Sam said, sounding slightly wary. He glanced towards the computer, hesitating for a moment. "You're not going to try anything involving portals without being absolutely certain that everyone involved will be all right, are you?"

Rikku swallowed hard, but her gaze was steady. "No. Th-this isn't like last time, I promise. I ... someone is helping me, a friend? And I said she didn't have to, but she said it would be okay, and ..." She bit her lip. "Last time I figured it was just me that was ... at risk. I mean, I was stupid anyway, and I get that now, and I deserve a future, too, yeah. But ... I'm not going to let other people get hurt for this. That's ..."

Her voice dropped. "I'd never forgive myself."

Sam felt a little guilty for getting worried so quickly, and tried to sound as calm as he could. "When you say someone's helping you, do you mean Dawn? She told me a little bit about what you might end up doing."

Rikku's eyes lit up. "Oh, you know Dawn? Yeah, she ... she said she needed to talk to someone. Was that you?" She laughed softly. "I told her what had happened, and she said I was lucky to be alive. I guess you shouldn't mess with blood magic. See, I learned something this semester, right? But ... but she said that there were ways, to open portals, without all that? And I need information, and we don't know yet if it's even doable, but ... I have to look. Just in case it is."

"Yeah, Dawn was probably talking about me. She's my girlfriend," Sam explained. "And she's completely right that you shouldn't be doing blood magic without all the information, because it's really dangerous. I just want you to understand, if she helps you with opening a portal, it's dangerous for her too."

He laughed softly. "I'm not stupid enough to think that I can force her to not help you, and even if you told her to not help, I don't think she'd listen at this point. She's stubborn like that. But she's also wonderful and amazing and kind of perfect, and I don't know what I'd do if something happened to her," he rambled. "You seem like you really want to make sure this works though, if it's doable."

Rikku stared at him for a long moment, taking it all in. "Whoa. I didn't realize. We're not ... the blood magic thing was before. She ... she said it wasn't dangerous. You mean it is? I ... I didn't ..." She looked away, thinking of the links in the chain. The way the cycle kept wanting to repeat itself. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Rikku cleared her throat and looked away, not looking back until she was calm again. "Okay. I understand. You love her, right? She's really something. I mean, she offered to help me just ... just like that, you know? Like it was nothing. Listen. She can't ... can't do anything without what I find. The information I need -- without it, we can't even start. There's nowhere to look for him, it's just over. I would just tell her sorry, and thanks so much offering, and then I let go and move on." And maybe Yuna would, too.

She closed her eyes, hoping he understood what she was trying to say. "If I ... told her that I looked, and didn't find anything ..." She let the words hang.

"I...I don't want you to do that," Sam said quickly, waving his hands in a kind of frantic motion. "That isn't fair to you, and it isn't fair to whoever it is that you're trying to help with...whatever it is that you're planning. I guess I just wanted to make sure that you weren't taking Dawn's help lightly. I'm...being a stupid, crazy boyfriend," he said, smirking softly. "She wants to help you, and I want her to do what she wants. I just figure it's my job to somehow keep her from getting hurt in the process."

"Come on, let me show you how to use the catalog," he said, motioning to the computer. "If you put in the subject you want, whether it's something vague like 'dimensions' or something specific, you can see what books we have on the subject."

Rikku smiled faintly. "It's totally okay. That's not stupid or crazy, that's ... you don't want anything to happen to her. Totally standard boyfriend stuff. Mine, uh. He's not so thrilled about this, either." She gave him a sympathetic smile. "It's okay. It's sweet, actually. You know?"

"And I didn't know that ... this was dangerous. What Dawn's trying to do. I'm glad you told me. I-I don't want anything bad to happen, this time. Last time was bad, but I was using blood magic and some dark ritual thing and being stupid. I wasn't even going to try again until I got Hermione's okay that I wasn't being stupid." Rikku blushed. "My roommate. She's way smarter than me."

She leaned over to look at the screen. "Okay, I was kind of looking at this stuff before, er, some of it. This is neat. I don't suppose you've got any entries for 'fayth'? With a 'y'?"

"I just hope Dawn thinks my concern is as sweet as you do," Sam said, smirking. "And I'm a firm believer that enough research will lead to any kind of situation being less dangerous. From what I know of Hermione, from seeing her here, I bet she'd agree."

Sam went into the catalog and typed in "fayth," frowning when zero hits came back. "Nope, sorry."

Rikku shook her head. "It's okay. It's what I expected. Uh ... okay. Can dead spirits dream? Like, they're on the Farplane, can they ... conjure things up, through dreaming? How do you look for that?"

"Let me look for Farplane first," he said, and when nothing came up, he searched for 'dead spirits dreaming' and still got nothing. "Hmm. This might be harder than I expected."

Rikku smiled wistfully. "Spira's kinda weird. I guess no one here has heard of it. I mean, that's a good thing, 'cause no one's mean about me being Al Bhed? But kinda makes research hard."

She considered. "Is there any kind of information on ... do dreams form a different sort of dimension? Can they?"

Searching for that kind of topic brought up one book, but Sam wasn't sure if it was what Rikku was looking for. "Well, I don't know what that book says, but I wouldn't be surprised if they could. Maybe with the right kind of spell..."

Rikku chewed her lip. "Maybe I check that book anyway, you never know. And ... and maybe it's just not going to be here. I wonder if Lulu knows anything. Maybe I'm doing this wrong, looking the wrong way, I don't know." She shook her head. "I'm not ready to give up yet. But ... I meant it. About being careful. Honest."

"I believe you," Sam replied. "If the information you're looking for exists, it has to be out there somewhere. And odds are, someone at this school is capable of finding it. Just...maybe not in this library."

"Yeah. There's information out there, we just ... have to find it. There has to be a way." She nodded. "And thanks. And ... I'm sure Dawn understands, with the protective-thing."

Rikku considered for a minute. "You're the fighter-type?"

Sam smirked. "Yeah, for the most part. My brother and I were pretty much raised as soldiers. He's a better fighter than I am, while I'm better with research, but...I'm pretty good at the killing of bad things overall. Why do you ask?"

Rikku grinned. "Oh, man! I haven't gotten to kill monsters in a while. I can't wait to go back home, my Godhand's been in storage. We should go some time! Just ... a group of people and take out some bad guys, you know!?"

She shook her head, remembering that that wasn't why she was asking in the first place. "Just that ... whoa, none of my business here, but ... she knows that you know that she can take care of herself, right? 'Cause I'm tiny and I get so tired of people thinking it means I can't beat them up, or I need someone guarding me, and ... if she gets mad when you're doing the protective-boyfriend thing, maybe ... that's why?" She facepalmed. "I said this was none of my business, right?"

"I can think of quite a few people who would consider taking a weekend to take out some bad guys to be a valuable use of time," Sam said, laughing.

"And I know that Dawn can take care of herself. I forget sometimes, and do stupid things like jump in front of her when there are guys with guns threatening us," he admitted. "I just...I'd rather do the fighting for her, if that makes any sense. I know that if she was all alone, she could take care of herself just fine. But if it's the two of us...she shouldn't have to fight unless she wants to." He smiled softly. "I know it's none of your business, but I appreciate you pointing it out anyway."

Rikku giggled. "We should have done it last weekend, to let off stress before finals! Nothing like killing some fiends to work out school jitters."

"And I ... oh! I mean, no, of course you know that. You're not that kinda guy. I'm guessing. And the wanting to fight for her ... that's totally normal. I just - I'm used to people looking at me and thinking I can't fight, and I bet Dawn gets that, too. It gets old really fast." She smiled sympathetically. "But it's totally not something most guys have to deal with, y'know? So you might not realize that she gets that, and ... yeah. Seriously gonna stop butting in now."

Sam laughed. "I do my best to make sure that Dawn knows that I know she can fight. If nothing else, it gets me good boyfriend points."

Rikku grinned. "Those are some serious bonus points, right there. A girl likes to know that her guy thinks she can kick some butt."

Well, maybe not most girls, but she did, anyway.

Library [04/24]

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