fandomhigh | School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

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!event: assembly

School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

The Tick took the stage once the audience was nice and full and smiled. "Crime is a broken drive-up ATM machine. It doesn't pay. Trust me, as a former full-time and current freelance Bank Teller of Justice I know this well. Sure, the ATM is faster when you get it to work, and it's the easier way to make money, but it'll break down, leaving you high and dry. And broke. It's best to park the car, go inside, do things right, and cross that Vestibule of Right because otherwise you're going to end up with nothing in time!"

"Trust me, I've been a superhero long enough, I know what I'm talking about!"

"Today's speakers are criminals who've learned how bad the life can be, who've learned that it's not worth the chance of saving a little bit of time only to end up unable to retrieve your Money from the Bank of Law."

[OOC: Standard assembly stuff. Threads for speakers are marked, please don't comment in those threads until the speaker has, speakers should also ping into the Q&A thread.]

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"Questions? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?"

"Do you work alone or with a company? And if alone, would you be interested in working with someone?"

"I work alone. Freelance, because sometimes I don't want to take the job. Mostly I turn down the jobs when they occur while Vanessa Saturn is on. She's so spunky and adorable," Deadpool replied. "Working with others usually ends with getting stabbed in the back. And I usually prefer my back to be knife-free."

"Why do you ask?" Deadpool asked, giving Pip a once over.

Pip grinned. "I'm in the same business. We're always looking for new recruits."

(So... not a giant pirate then?)

"You want to recruit me?"

"Only if you're any good. Are you any good?"

"I'm the best at what I do, and what I do isn't very nice," Deadpool replied seriously. "Snikt snikt."

"Gosh I hope I don't get sued for copyright infringement or anything," He said quietly.

"...Snkit snikt?"

"You know, Wolverine. 'Snikt snikt'!" Deadpool said, holding up his fists. "Small and insanely hairy. Is on every team known to man. Ringing any bells?"

"...Never heard of him. Should I be impressed by the comparison?"

Re: Speaker Q&A [11/10]

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Re: Speaker Q&A [11/10]

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Cameron raised a hand. "So why not just work fulltime for the goverment if they seem to have a need for your... services?"

"Mostly because they have this annoying tendency to get all moral on me after the job is done," Deadpool scoffed. "Plus, they don't pay near as well as the private sector."

"So it's mostly just about the money?" Cameron asked.

"No. Sometimes I won't take a job no matter how much money they offer."

(Like killing my love, the light of my life: Bea)

Cameron was actually surprised by the answer. "What's your guideline for accepting jobs then?"

Deadpool shrugged. "Depends. Who the target is, who is hiring me, the mood I'm in at the time, if Venus is in the second house. You know, lots of things."

Cameron didn't really know, but he nodded anyway. "What about morals? Do they calculate in there somewhere?"

Deadpool rolled his eyes, an action that was probably lost on Cameron due to the mask. "Because morality works so well when you kill people for money."

Re: Speaker Q&A [11/10]

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Re: Speaker Q&A [11/10]

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"What initially attracted you to the mercenary profession?"

"Well, it was much better than being a minion for various super villains," Deadpool responded. "Plus, the money was good."

"yeah I get that." Billy said. "Are you more a hitman or assasin than a mercenary though?"

"Well, assassin or hitman would imply that I only kill people. Which I don't. Sometimes I get paid to steal stuff. Or sabotage stuff. I'm very flexible, if you know what I mean."

Billy nodded. "yeah that does make sense. You get all your expenses paid as well or does that come from your own pocket?"

"Depends on the job. If it's something cheap then I'll pay for it. But I do enjoy charging people so I can fly around the country and annoy the stewardesses."

Billy snickered.

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