School Assembly, Friday Afternoon, The Auditorium

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Hello, Fandom High students and faculty! This week's assembly comes to you out of necessity due to the cost of construction. Our speakers today have a focus on corporate sponsorship and are here to show you the good side and bad side of such sponsorship. Now if you'll give our guests your undivided attention, we can begin!"

[OOC: Same deal as last week. General conversation threads are nice and open, reactions to our guests can go in their threads after they have pinged in, and same for Q&A. Thanks to my assembly volunteers for contributing. :)

ETA: The sprinklers were set off here and will be going until shortly after a faculty member busts those responsible. Faculty members? Nail them!]

Comments

Before the Assembly [10/13]

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

Find your seats and mingle!

Re: Before the Assembly [10/13]

[thebluespirit.livejournal.com]

A lot of people seemed to be going to these assemblies, so Zuko decided it was time to find out what the fuss was about. He settled down in one of the seats and waited for the show to begin.

Re: Before the Assembly [10/13]

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty sits down and starts to doodle in one of his notebooks.

Re: Before the Assembly [10/13]

[ktarian-wildman.livejournal.com]

Naomi came in and found a seat trying not to think about the fact that she had detention tomorrow.

Re: Before the Assembly [10/13]

[1ordinarygirl.livejournal.com]

Buffy was here, still hauling cheerleading competition papers around. She sat down and began reading through them again.

Re: Before the Assembly [10/13]

[nadiathesaint]

Nadia had taken the lunch hour to get in a long shower, and was thus looking a lot better than she had in Constant Vigilance.

She's still mulling over everything that happened when she finds a seat, however.

Re: Before the Assembly [10/13]

[once-a-king.livejournal.com]

Peter found a chair for the assembly, hoping it would be nearly as amusing as last time.

Re: Before the Assembly [10/13]

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

...Just soap and water, my foot. Setsuna had managed to get most of the glitter from Health class of of her, sure, but it seemed to like her hair a rather lot. Still, she had nothing else to do this afternoon and thought an assembly could be interesting and she has an evil, evil mun.

Re: Before the Assembly [10/13]

[sogothcally.livejournal.com]

Cally sat down and wasn't even trying to hide the fact she was listening to one of the books on CD she borrowed from Rory on her headphones.

Re: Before the Assembly [10/13]

[bookyeve.livejournal.com]

Evie dragged herself to assembly, looking tired and cranky. Caffiene and sugar hangovers weren't much more fun than alcohol. She slumped down in a chair near the back, and yawned, closing her eyes.

Re: Before the Assembly [10/13]

[http://users.livejournal.com/weissguy_/]

Weiss showed up, sat down, prepared for amusement. Or sleeping.

Speaker 1: Krusty the Clown

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Our first speaker is a television host and king of product placement. Please welcome a representative of the Krusty Korporation and The Krusty the Klown Show, Krusty the Clown!"

Re: Speaker 1: Krusty the Clown

[fh_extras]

When most people think of clowns, they probably don't picture the one that walked into the auditiorium. They probably had heard him yelling at his agent on his cell phone just outside, though. When he walked in, he stubbed his cigarette out on the ground and gave a randomly cheerful, "HEY HEY!"

And then went right back to his normal expression. "That's all you get. They didn't shell out for more than that. So I'm here to talk about my line of products, all with the Krusty Seal of Approval. They include: Krusty Handguns, Krusty-Brand Home Pregnancy test- May cause birth defects, Krusty-O's, Krusty-Brand Imitation Gruel, Chocolate Frosted Frosty Flakes, Krusty-Brand Lo-Cal TV Dinner, Krusty greeting cards, Krusty's Famous Sauce, Krusty-Brand Low Income Housing, Kamp Krusty, Krusty's Clown College, Krusty Land, Krusty's Non-Narkotik Kough Syrup, Krusty Brain & Health Tonic, Krusty-Brand Vitamins, Krusty's Sulfuric Acid, Krusty T-Shirts, Krusty Monopoly, Krusty Non-Toxic Kologne, my autobiography, Krusty's Crowd Control Barrier, Lady Krusty Mustache Removal, Krusty Electric Toothbrush, Krusty Mini-Basketball Hoops, Krusty Fried Chicken, Krusty Eye wash, Krusty Geiger Counter, Krusty Home Depot, Krusty Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based Beverages, Krusty Personal Swabs and Krusty Kosher Ham. Buy it all, you know you want to. Also, your chef has graciously agreed to serve Krusty Burger in your cafeteria today. At least I think he did."

His cell phone went off, and he picked it up as soon as he'd finished his sentence. "Yeah... So the check's cleared? Good. Give me fifteen minutes."

He hung up, looking at the students. "Listen, if I could make the autographs quick? I have a mall I gotta open."

Speaker 2: xTreme Blue

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Next, please welcome the makers of an apparently popular and exciting sports drink who want to show you just how extreme their product can make life, xTreme Blue!"

Re: Speaker 2: xTreme Blue

[fh_extras]

A giant explosion which harmed absolutely nothing rocked the stage and two completely rockin' sk8t3r d00ds emerged from the smoke. Both were bandoliered with what looked like grenades and paint tubes.

"Hey everybody! I'm Tyler, that's Paco..." Paco gave the peace sign. "We're here to tell you about the awesome new nutrimite-packed xStream Blu! Stick it in your face-hole!" He tossed a few grenades into the crowd. Those lucky enough to get hit with one were instantly clothed in a rad black xStream Blu t-shirt.

Paco gave the thumbs-up. "Email!"

"xStream Blu gives you all the Essential Nutrimites and Mineroids necessary to the xStream lifestyle!" Tyler yelled. "To demonstrate, my friend Paco here will ride down the terrifying Death Ramp!"

Paco climbed up the terribly high ladder while buzzsaws began to spin and alligators chomped and rings of fire lit up. Arriving at the top, Paco grinned.

"And now my man Paco will show you the value of xStream Blu in your daily intakez0r by strapping the skateboard... to his HEAD!" Paco did as Tyler instructed and then used his hands to wheel himself to the edge of the ramp. He pushed off and, after passing through the first set of deadly spikes, there was another harmless explosion and Paco was down at the bottom, looking tired but unharmed! "Wicked gnarly awesome zero gravity well!" he screamed.

The tossed out wide-mouthed squirt bottles of xStream Blu. Anybody with extremely keen eyesight could make out the tiny print ingredients next to the ingredimites -- pancake batter and blue house paint.

"Thanks for your time, Fandom High! We'll catch you on the xStream Side of Life!"

Speaker 3: Daria Morgendorffer

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

The Tick may have seemed a bit happier to introduce the final speaker. There just seemed to be something Right about this one.

"To wrap things up with a change of perspective, I would like to introduce a consumer, Daria Morgendorffer!"

Re: Speaker 3: Daria Morgendorffer

[fh_extras]

A very plain-looking college age girl in combat boots and glasses took the floor, and began speaking in a voice that somehow stayed almost entirely monotone. Or at least sounded like it really wanted to be entirely monotone.

"My name is Daria Morgendorffer," she introduced herself. "You may be saying to yourself, she obviously isn't part of any company trying to sell me stuff. And you would be right. Personally, I'd rather die first, but this assembly isn't about that. Thank god. This assembly is about corporate sponsorship, and you've been listening to people telling you what to buy and what to think about what you buy because they tell you to do it. And naturally, being teenagers, a lot of you probably would think having these products in your school is a good idea, just because they're supposed to be cool and popular.

"What you don't know is what the price is. At my high school, we sold out to a company that gave us Ultra Cola, which made us cheap and tawdry enough, and that was before we failed to meet the monetary quota they set for us. True, we had money coming in to fund extracurricular activities. However, we were reduced to soda machines in the hallway- several, actually- and advertisements covering the school so that it looked like we had new school colors. The cheerleaders did get new uniforms, which were very... nice... if you don't take into account the fact that they looked like soda cans and had some difficulty maneuvering in and out of the pyramid. So despite all the ads saying otherwise, even the cheerleaders couldn't manage to look cool while playing walking billboards.

"In the end, all we really got out of the deal was a lot of trouble and bloating. Just because someone tells you something is great doesn't mean it is, and it definitely doesn't mean you should play into it. Listening to people is good if it means you don't walk out into traffic or anything, but you don't need anyone telling you what to like. People really aren't as stupid as advertisers would like you to think. After all, if humans couldn't think for themselves every once in a while, Darwinism would have wiped out the entire species years ago. Or so I'm telling myself this week."

General Audience Conversation [10/13]

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

During the assembly, there is plenty of time to talk amongst yourselves. Please do so here.

Re: General Audience Conversation [10/13]

[demonbelthazor]

Bel was in the audience. Bored out. of. his. mind. He started bouncing a small ball of fire between his hands for something to do.

Re: General Audience Conversation [10/13]

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake was staring in fascination at the Klown, and then he pulled out his sketchpad and began sketching a sequence of scenes he'd call 'Evil Klown vs Monotone Girl'.

Re: General Audience Conversation [10/13]

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

Setsuna was about to doze off, when she was awaked quite harshly and suddenly by water raining down from the sky. She let out a surprised sound, at first for just getting wet, but then...she gasped, eyes widened.

And where there was once a Setsuna, there was now a slightly glittery albino crow. Her red eyes darted around the auditorium as she hopped slightly on the bleacher seat. Oh God, oh God, oh God, please, please, please have it that no one saw that. Oh God, oh God, oh God.

Re: General Audience Conversation [10/13]

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke was now drenched and more than a little weirded out by two people who could just make fire.

He sat back in his seat and tried to concentrate on the speakers.

His mind kept wandering back to his phone call with John, though.

Speaker Q&A [10/13]

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"All of our speakers are done now. If you have any questions for them, please step up and ask!"

[OOC: Please don't ask a question of a speaker until they have pinged into this thread. Thank you.]

Re: Speaker Q&A [10/13]

[fh_extras]

While Krusty was available for questions, he kept checking his watch and making that twirly motion with his hand that translated in English to "Come on, come ON."

Exiting [10/13]

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Thank you all for attending! Hopefully you learned something important from the presentations! Have a good weekend, chums!"

OOC [10/13]

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

Big, big thanks to the guest speakers this week because I had nothing. You made this work!

You'd better make this work or you just made me a liar!