School Assembly, Friday Afternoon, The Auditorium

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Hello, Fandom High students and faculty! This week's assembly comes to you out of necessity due to the cost of construction. Our speakers today have a focus on corporate sponsorship and are here to show you the good side and bad side of such sponsorship. Now if you'll give our guests your undivided attention, we can begin!"

[OOC: Same deal as last week. General conversation threads are nice and open, reactions to our guests can go in their threads after they have pinged in, and same for Q&A. Thanks to my assembly volunteers for contributing. :)

ETA: The sprinklers were set off here and will be going until shortly after a faculty member busts those responsible. Faculty members? Nail them!]

Comments

Re: Speaker 1: Krusty the Clown

[fh_extras]

When most people think of clowns, they probably don't picture the one that walked into the auditiorium. They probably had heard him yelling at his agent on his cell phone just outside, though. When he walked in, he stubbed his cigarette out on the ground and gave a randomly cheerful, "HEY HEY!"

And then went right back to his normal expression. "That's all you get. They didn't shell out for more than that. So I'm here to talk about my line of products, all with the Krusty Seal of Approval. They include: Krusty Handguns, Krusty-Brand Home Pregnancy test- May cause birth defects, Krusty-O's, Krusty-Brand Imitation Gruel, Chocolate Frosted Frosty Flakes, Krusty-Brand Lo-Cal TV Dinner, Krusty greeting cards, Krusty's Famous Sauce, Krusty-Brand Low Income Housing, Kamp Krusty, Krusty's Clown College, Krusty Land, Krusty's Non-Narkotik Kough Syrup, Krusty Brain & Health Tonic, Krusty-Brand Vitamins, Krusty's Sulfuric Acid, Krusty T-Shirts, Krusty Monopoly, Krusty Non-Toxic Kologne, my autobiography, Krusty's Crowd Control Barrier, Lady Krusty Mustache Removal, Krusty Electric Toothbrush, Krusty Mini-Basketball Hoops, Krusty Fried Chicken, Krusty Eye wash, Krusty Geiger Counter, Krusty Home Depot, Krusty Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based Beverages, Krusty Personal Swabs and Krusty Kosher Ham. Buy it all, you know you want to. Also, your chef has graciously agreed to serve Krusty Burger in your cafeteria today. At least I think he did."

His cell phone went off, and he picked it up as soon as he'd finished his sentence. "Yeah... So the check's cleared? Good. Give me fifteen minutes."

He hung up, looking at the students. "Listen, if I could make the autographs quick? I have a mall I gotta open."