How to Win Friends and yadda yadda yadda [8/15]

[dr-snark.livejournal.com]

Cox belts out a sharp peircing whistled and points for everyone to sit down in their seats. When everyone is at least pretending to pay attention, Cox begins his rant lecture.

"If you're like me? Chances are people are going to annoy you with their pesky personal problems that will distract you from your main goal in life. In order to deal with this issue you must learn to look like you care when really you don't.

Method One: Feign interest.
"Gosh Newbie. I never realized how wonderfully boring your life could be. Please tell me in excruiating detail about how your stuffed dog smells like pancakes."

Method Two: Barely acknowledge their existence
*grunt*

Method Three: Find a polite way to get out of the conversation while still making said person think you care about their feelings
"Go away Newbie."

Please pair up with another classmate. One of you will whine and emo about your life and the other will use all three methods outlined for you. Then switch."

Comments

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"She beats me on a regular basis," Zack added.

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John blows his nose.

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"I believe the cod is paying her to kill me."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Now why would she do that?" John asks, looking at his watch. "You're not very killable."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Because I know the details of her evil plan to take over the school," Zack replied.

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"How absolutely terrible for you," John says, looking suitably concerned. "You must be shaking with fear."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Considering my life is under threat from your piscene lover? Yes."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, right, of course." He pats Zack on the shoulder. "I'm here for you, man."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"I need a hug."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Do you?" John shrugs. "Maybe my piscene lover can give you one."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Maybe I should ask her for one then."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John shoo's Zack away with the flick of his wrist.

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Zack shoo'ed. (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/976689.html?thread=52086577#t52086577)

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

And now John's hiding his face in his arms.

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Returning shortly, Zack noted "Aeryn is a cruel and merciless cod."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John's almost afraid to ask. "What'd she say?"

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"You're going to die immediately after class."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Of course I am," John says and bangs his head against the desk. "My girlfriend is violent."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Zack patted John's shoulder. "There there."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Aren't relationships supposed to be full of hearts and fluffy things?"

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"I don't know, I'm not in one."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Sorry," John says sheepishly. "I'm sure you'll get there eventually."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Only if Parker doesn't kill me first."

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Can't you just hide?"

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"She'd find me."