fandomhigh | How to Win Friends and yadda yadda yadda [8/15]

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How to Win Friends and yadda yadda yadda [8/15]

Cox belts out a sharp peircing whistled and points for everyone to sit down in their seats. When everyone is at least pretending to pay attention, Cox begins his ~~rant~~ lecture.

"If you're like me? Chances are people are going to annoy you with their pesky personal problems that will distract you from your main goal in life. In order to deal with this issue you must learn to look like you care when really you don't.

Method One: Feign interest.
"Gosh Newbie. I never realized how wonderfully boring your life could be. Please tell me in excruiating detail about how your stuffed dog smells like pancakes."

Method Two: Barely acknowledge their existence
*grunt*

Method Three: Find a polite way to get out of the conversation while still making said person think you care about their feelings
"Go away Newbie."

Please pair up with another classmate. One of you will whine and emo about your life and the other will use all three methods outlined for you. Then switch."

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"You're going to die immediately after class."

"Of course I am," John says and bangs his head against the desk. "My girlfriend is violent."

Zack patted John's shoulder. "There there."

"Aren't relationships supposed to be full of hearts and fluffy things?"

"I don't know, I'm not in one."

"Oh. Sorry," John says sheepishly. "I'm sure you'll get there eventually."

"Only if Parker doesn't kill me first."

"Can't you just hide?"

"She'd find me."

"Why is she looking to kill you?"

"It's Parker."

"Dude, she's wanted to kill me before and I'm still alive. Anything I can do to help?"

"Revenge." Zack replied.

John's interested now. "Revenge like how?"

"I'm thinking of getting her a new alarm clock," Zack said. "One she can't set herself."

"Would it be a very loud alarm clock?" John asks, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Very," Zack smirked. "With a specialised alarm."

"Oh?" John's definitely interested. "Do tell of this alarm."

"That weekend people went crazy and thought they were from that fifties musical," Zack said. "I have footage of Parker as Cha-Cha."

"Oh, that weekend. Yeah, I did the radio broadcast that day," John says. "So, you'd use audio of her as her alarm?"

"Yeah."

John smiles and then ends up laughing. "You're an evil, evil genius."

Zack grinned. "I do my best."

"Lemme know if I can help," John offers. "I'm always up for some good trouble making."

"I will," Zack promised.

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

whitedeathpod.livejournal.com - 2006-08-15 16:51 (UTC) - Expand

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