Win Friends and blah blah blah... Afternoon [8/8]

[dr-snark.livejournal.com]

Dr. Cox is looking rather smug this morning as all the students come and take their seats.

"All right newbies, every once in a while a situation comes along where you need to handle it with kid gloves. So today's class is all about Let's take for an example an old patient of mine. Let's call him.... Bob. Bob hasn't been listening to his regular doctor about his heart and arteries and has somehow smuggled in a dozen White Castle sliders into his hospital room after having a quadruple bypass surgery. Your options are thus:"

Be *shudder* Nice
"Gee Mr. Geldoff I know those hamburgers are awfully tasty but perhaps we should go over your diet and see what we can do to make you healthy again. Okay Buddy?"

Be Direct
"Hey Bob? No offense but this eating habit of yours is going to send you to an early grave. You've ignored the warning signs even after having surgery and if you continue this practice it will have dire consequences"

Be Me
*sharp piercing whistle* "All right Bobbo, I'm only going to tell you this one more time so you better start using those flaps on the side of your head or so help me I'll rip them off and give them to my intern who could so use them. Did you really thing having White Castle after surgery was the brightest idea ever? Why didn't you just open a can of lard and start shoveling it into your face because it's having the same effect. You know the whole quadruple bypass isn't just a warning sign tubby, it's a freakin' billboard teetering over and about to crush you like an ant. So if it were me? I'd either start eating something green and stop trying to eat a heifer in one sitting. 'kay?"

Your assignment is to approach three different students using one of the methods above each for one or more of the following delicate situations:

1. Your significant other is a fish
2. Your significant other has a thing for bellboys
3. You have a booger hanging on the end of your nose
4. You have something in your teeth
5. That thing you had for lunch was tainted by E Coli
6. You have cancer
7. You have toilet paper stuck to the end of your shoe
8. You're bald. Everyone knows you are wearing a rug
9. You're a little pudgy.
10. Your fly is down and your fashionable underwear is showing


[OOC: Wait for the OCD is up!]

Comments

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John eyes the list. And then his classmates. And waits.

Re: Assignment:

[dr-snark.livejournal.com]

Dr. Cox approaches John. "Newbie? you got a..."

Cox makes a brushing motion at the end of his nose with his hand.

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"..a nose?" John taps his nose. "Yep, you've got one two. And a fine nose it is, sir."

Re: Assignment:

[dr-snark.livejournal.com]

"Got a little extra something hanging off the end of it there, Buzzcut."

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"I don't have a zit, do I?" And now he's trying to cross his eyes and look down his nose.

Re: Assignment:

[dr-snark.livejournal.com]

"No," Dr. Cox said getting a little impatient. "You've got some stalagtite dried up mucus poking out there."

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Oh." More frowning and more attempts to peer down his nose. "I have a wee cold. Got a tissue?"

Re: Assignment:

[dr-snark.livejournal.com]

Cox sighs and hands John a kleenex.

Re: Assignment:

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"John," Zack nodded. "Heard your broadcast on Saturday, even though I wasn't quite myself. Everything okay?"

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Seems to be," John replies. "What about you? If I can help you, dude, I'm here."

Re: Assignment:

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"No, no, I'm focussed on your needs today," Zack said. "After all, with what happened to Aeryn..."

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

Frowning, John asks, "What happened with Aeryn?"

Re: Assignment:

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Zack shook his head gravely. "There's never an easy way to say this, but, well...she's a fish."

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"...but she's in this class and isn't exhibiting any fish like characteristics."

Re: Assignment:

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"That's because when I say fish, I mean robot body controlled by a super-intellegent mutant cod."

Re: Assignment:

[grand-fallguy.livejournal.com]

Tim mimed snatching something off of John's head. "Everyone knows. Stop wearing dead animals on your head."

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"I am not Davey Crockett," John says, frowning.

Re: Assignment:

[grand-fallguy.livejournal.com]

"Then either stop wearing a piece or pick a better one because you're not fooling anyone." Actually Tim felt he was being rather nicer than Cox would likely be in such a situation.

Re: Assignment:

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

Greg moseyed over to John. "Hey, dude," he said amiably.

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Hey, buddy," John greets. "How's it goin?"

Re: Assignment:

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

"Pretty good," Greg said. "So. Have you ever thought about plugs, maybe?"

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"I have plugs in my bathtub."

Re: Assignment:

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

"Or maybe transplants?" Greg suggested. "'Cause it's just getting embarrassing, man."

Re: Assignment:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"About as embarrassing as that paunch of yours."

Re: Assignment:

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

Greg looked down. "Fine. If I work out more, will you at least consider doing something about the rug?"