fandomhigh | Win Friends and blah blah blah... Afternoon [8/8]

Dr. Cox is looking rather smug this morning as all the students come and take their seats.

"All right newbies, every once in a while a situation comes along where you need to handle it with kid gloves. So today's class is all about Let's take for an example an old patient of mine. Let's call him.... Bob. Bob hasn't been listening to his regular doctor about his heart and arteries and has somehow smuggled in a dozen White Castle sliders into his hospital room after having a quadruple bypass surgery. Your options are thus:"

Be *shudder* Nice
"Gee Mr. Geldoff I know those hamburgers are awfully tasty but perhaps we should go over your diet and see what we can do to make you healthy again. Okay Buddy?"

Be Direct
"Hey Bob? No offense but this eating habit of yours is going to send you to an early grave. You've ignored the warning signs even after having surgery and if you continue this practice it will have dire consequences"

Be Me
*sharp piercing whistle* "All right Bobbo, I'm only going to tell you this one more time so you better start using those flaps on the side of your head or so help me I'll rip them off and give them to my intern who could so use them. Did you really thing having White Castle after surgery was the brightest idea ever? Why didn't you just open a can of lard and start shoveling it into your face because it's having the same effect. You know the whole quadruple bypass isn't just a warning sign tubby, it's a freakin' billboard teetering over and about to crush you like an ant. So if it were me? I'd either start eating something green and stop trying to eat a heifer in one sitting. 'kay?"

Your assignment is to approach three different students using one of the methods above each for one or more of the following delicate situations:

1. Your significant other is a fish
2. Your significant other has a thing for bellboys
3. You have a booger hanging on the end of your nose
4. You have something in your teeth
5. That thing you had for lunch was tainted by E Coli
6. You have cancer
7. You have toilet paper stuck to the end of your shoe
8. You're bald. Everyone knows you are wearing a rug
9. You're a little pudgy.
10. Your fly is down and your fashionable underwear is showing

[OOC: ~~Wait for the~~ OCD is up!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Frowning, John asks, "What happened with Aeryn?"

Zack shook his head gravely. "There's never an easy way to say this, but, well...she's a fish."

"...but she's in this class and isn't exhibiting any fish like characteristics."

"That's because when I say fish, I mean robot body controlled by a super-intellegent mutant cod."

"How do you know?" John's suspicious now. "You've been seeing the insides of my girlfriend?"

"Because Alanna is a servant of the cod," Zack said. "Aeryn revealed herself to me when I thought I was her."

"Aeryn exposed herself to you?!" The look on John's face might be a mixture of anger and OMGWTF. "And she didn't kill you afterward?"

Zack flailed a little. "Not dirty!"

"You're the one telling me my girlfriend showed you her naughty bits!"

"The cod is in her head!" Zack flailed. "There were no naughty bits!"

"Then don't look at her naughty bits if she does it again!"

John? Really not getting it.

"She's a fish, she doesn't even have naughty bits!"

"If she's a fish, she has a gills! Those are fish naughty bits!"

"You find lungs sexy? You are a very strange man."

"And you're a peeping Tom! A Peeping Zack!"

"It's not peeping when she shows me of her own free will."

"But you looked! You peeped my girlfriend!" John really has no idea what they were even talking about.

"No, Alanna, worshipper of the super-intellegent mutant cod peeped. My body was just along for the ride."

"Did your body like being along for the ride?"

"No, unlike some people, my tastes don't run towards fish."

"No, you just like looking at things you weren't supposed to!"

"I didn't have a choice in the matter, Alanna needed to kneel before her cod!"

"You're one to place blame easily," John points out.

"It's not my fault Aeryn felt it neccesary to dress Alanna up in a bellhop outfit."

"My girlfriend is not a freak!" John scowls and stamps his foot. "And you have a mullet!"

Re: Assignment:

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