Sexual Education [07/13] - Thursday Afternoon

[lesssexthanmiho.livejournal.com]

"Hi," Becky said, eyeing her class as they arrived at the campfire. There were tables scattered about - about large enough for two people to work together at one. "This is Sex Ed. I'm Becky. 'Ms. Vartan' will get you detention. 'Mrs. Bluth' or any variation thereof will get you shot."

"Anyway. Here is where we learn about those things between your legs, and how to use them. I only have one rule: Don't piss me off. You get to figure out what that means all on your own."

"So. First of all, I'd like y'all to fill out the info on those sheets," she said, gesturing to a stack of papers. "'Course, you can choose to leave things blank. I don't care. Just trying to get a feel for who I'm working with. Once you're done with that, we're doing the first of many, many practical lessons. You're going to be in groups of two and one group of three."

She read off the list. "Bridge and Belthazor, Nadia and Lana, Maia and Pip, Dawn and Sam, Phoebe, Blair and Samuel, and Seras and Demyx who were ALWAYS HERE. Get behind a table with your partners. If I said your name wrong or you prefer something else, I don't care but you can tell me anyway, I guess."

Becky strode over to a table, upon which were four elongated balloons (the sort used to make balloon animals) filled with...something. The something was made quite obvious as Becky picked up a can of whipped cream and sprayed it into the balloon. She stopped and tied off the balloon so that it was about seven inches long, and filled with enough whipped cream that it was taut, just like the other five balloons.

"Our activity for today," she said as she walked around and set a balloon and a foil-wrapped Trojan Magnum (lubricated and ribbed, for her pleasure!) on each table, "is to get the condom on the balloon. Which seems easy...'cept that there's been a tiny hole pricked in each balloon, in the...head, as it were." Becky snickered. "If you're not gentle, you'll get whipped cream everywhere. Once the condom is on, you can test to make sure you did it right by squeezing the balloon, which is really just like a male climax, though whipped cream, as I've said before, tastes a hell of a lot better. Unless the male in question regularly drinks pineapple juice, or so I've heard."

[ooc: First of all, wait for my OCD threads. OCD is up! I lied, I know I missed at least one person. Secondly, needless to say, this workshop might not be the safest for work. :)

Note on the balloons: they're...to scale. Average size you would expect. And they're filled with enough whipped cream that they're soft but taut enough that they won't, um, lose shape, so to speak. Feel free to mod them as necessary, but keep that pinprick in mind!]

Comments

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

"Yeah, this is just about the most embarrassing way this class could have turned out," Sam agreed. "But it's okay. Just relax. If it's any consolation, I'm pretty sure our balloon would have made a content noise if it were alive." He mentally flailed and looked away again, figuring that was a little too much information. "You know, you can pretend I'm Dean, if that would make you feel better."

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

She stared at him, and dropped the balloon completely. It plopped to the desk. "How would that make me feel better?"

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

"Because it's not me?" Sam said, wondering how he always managed to say the wrong thing. "You said this is embarrassing because of the condom, the balloon, and me. I thought you meant because it's me and not Dean."

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"Um...no. No, that's not it." She picked the balloon up again without explaining. "Okay. Let's just do this so we can switch places, do it again, and be done?"

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

Sam gave Dawn a curious look, but didn't ask for further explanation. Maybe Dean would know what she meant. "Okay, fine." He took the end of the balloon and started pushing the condom up, finally rolling it up all the way.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"How do we know if you did it right?" Dawn asked, remembering that Becky had told them how, but not what the how was.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

"Um. You've got to give the balloon another squeeze," Sam explained. "If whipped cream doesn't go everywhere, it's on right."

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

Dawn turned her head away. Yep, wall still needed paint. "Okay, I'm squeezing, but you have to look." She squeezed down gently with her hand and felt a shift in the whipped cream.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

Sam nodded - not that Dawn could see, with her fascination with the wall paint - and watched. "Hey, it worked. Go us," he said, smiling.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"Cool!" Dawn handed Sam the balloon. "Your turn."

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

Sam smirked and took the balloon, holding it like he'd shown Dawn how to. He tried to seem less comfortable than he felt, because while he knew he'd held something similar to this before, that was just about the last thought he wanted to occur to Dawn.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

Dawn didn't notice Sam's comfort level or lack thereof, because she was trying to get the condom wrapper open. Using her teeth.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

Sam wasn't staring, really. He was just watching Dawn really, really well.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"What?" Dawn wiped the wrapper off on her shirt and tried to open it again using her fingers. The wrapper tore quickly, and the condom flew through the air with the greatest of ease.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

Sam dropped the balloon back onto the table, figuring that catching the condom was more important. "You, uh, might want to hold onto this a little longer," he said.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"Nice catch," Dawn giggled, finally seeing the humor in the situation. "And probably. I did tell you I'd never done this before, right?"

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

"Yeah, but you got to see me do it first," Sam replied, snickering as he handed the condom over. "It's not as hard as it looks, I promise."

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"It didn't look that hard," Dawn took the condom. "I'm finding the actual doing to be much more complicated. There should be a book."

She inhaled, then exhaled. "You ready to attempt this and I apologize ahead of time if I fling this at your head?"

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

"Actually, the condom box should come with instructions. Um, for future reference," he said quickly, taking hold of the balloon again. "I'm ready, and prepared for any possible flinging."

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"For future ref...you mean I have to do this again?" She looked horrified.

Trying to recover from that idea, she touched the condom to the end of the balloon and started to roll it back, holding her tongue between her teeth as she concentrated.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

Sam gave Dawn a curious look. "If you're planning on ever having sex, I think it's safe to say you'll have to do this again," he said, watching her work.

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"I could totally be a nun," Dawn decided, smoothing the condom slowly down over the balloon, eyeing the little hole carefully. "I bet I'd be a good nun."

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

"That's kind of drastic, don't you think?" Sam smirked, holding the balloon as carefully as possible, to keep from making Dawn think she was doing anything wrong. "I mean, aside from the uniform, I don't think nuns get to do a lot of evil ass kicking."

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"They should," Dawn decided, happy she'd found a topic that wasn't about condoms or balloons. It made it easier to ignore what her hands were doing right in front of Sam. "They're like...I don't know, they're like these superpowered people with a direct line to goodness. Who'd make a better asskicker?" She hmmmed, then inspected her work, deciding she was finished. "Might help if I was Catholic, though."

Re: Group 4: Sam Winchester and Dawn Summers

[likethegun]

"But nuns can only really pray to make you good. I think physical violence is against the rules. And yeah, I'm pretty sure the Catholic thing is a requirement." Sam's mind went to Dawn as a Catholic school girl before he could really squelch the thought, but thankfully, he managed to keep his imagination from going too far too fast. "Are you done with the condom?" he asked.