Library, Monday, 6/26

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

Tyler yawned as he opened the library; he had slept even less than usual the night before. He gripped his coffee tightly as he settled in behind the desk.

The library was open.

[OOC: New job = I'm here until about 1:30 EST and will pick up any tags after 10. Also, Bob is a ghost only Tyler can see; that thread is locked and Bob's presence is NFB unless the pirate can see ghosts.]

Comments

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"I remember everything," Bob repeated with an innocence that didn't fit his appearance. "I saw them carry me home. I saw you. I saw you let them bury me in the back garden." He looked at Tyler. "I'm sorry." He shook his head over and over again and looked back down at the pictures of the soldiers in the book. "I wasn't a good enough soldier."

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

Tyler buried his head in both hands as if he was pysically holding it together. "You were my friend. I shouldn't have-" He swallowed. "It was wrong. It was all wrong."

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

Bob teared up. "You said it was all right. You said.. I trusted you to.. I don't understand why you weren't there."

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

I was busy getting very drunk and having a nervous breakdown. Oh, and freaking out my imaginary friend's girlfriend. That was fun.

"I don't know either," Tyler admitted. "I wasn't thinking straight. I should have taken on that mission myself, if we were going to do it."

"How are you here?"

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"They let me out."

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

"they, they, what they?"

Tyler stood up and paced the library. "People in my world, they stay dead. DOn't they?"

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"They told me I couldn't tell you who they were. The first rule is that you don't ask questions. They let me out and they said I could come and see you again. I didn't get to say goodbye. I think I'm still dead." He turned his head to show the back of it, the disgusting mess of a gunshot still warm and raw, but thankfully not dripping. "See what they did?"

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

Tyler gingerly reached out a hand to touch the wound, pulling back just before his fingers would have made contact.

Then he went back to the pacing, motions becoming more frantic.

"This isn't real, this isn't real. Dr. Pevensie cut back on my meds. You're a hallucination. Like Tyler."

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"You're Tyler." Bob looked confused. "Are you a ghost too?" His mouth opened wider. "Did someone kill you?"

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

"No, no. I'm alive. I think. Maybe, maybe someone should have." He drew a ragged breath. "Maybe this is my hell."

He sat down across from Bob again and tried to put the whole thing a way the man would understand. "Tyler was someone I made up," he said carefully. "He's a part of me, but he's not really me."

"I never wanted anyone to get hurt."

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"But they did anyway. I did."

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

"I remember," Tyler said. "And I let them bury you."

His eyes were getting very red. "I don't think there's anything I can do, is there."

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

Bob looked confused again. "But.. you're Tyler Durden." He didn't seem to comprehend that Tyler wasn't capable of smoothing over every situation. He'd never seen any evidence to the contrary. Even Bob's death had been smoothed over and Project Mayhem had gone on.

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

Tyler shook his head slowly."No. There's no such person." A voice in the back of his head said, You deny me, but you're still using my name. Real nice, buddy.

"I'm just- " His throat was dry, and he forced himself to ignore the voice.

"I'm no one. A kid with problems. And I dragged other people in. I don't know how to apologize to you. I can't."

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

Bob shook his head. "No. You're our leader. You showed us how to stop being slaves. You made us better."

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

At those words, Tyler felt a rush of pride. The feeling made him gag.

"I took away your life," he said, because whatever else Project Mayhem had been, good or bad, there was no question about that. "Is that better?"

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"It was for a while," Bob replied. "And it could have been for longer, I think."

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

It was Tyler's turn to be confused, and the tears were really stinging at his eyes now. "I don't understand."

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"Before Fi.." He put his hand over his mouth to stop himself from saying it out loud. "Before I joined, all I had was the support group. Then after I joined, it was better. I was a man again. I was part of something important. And it could have stayed better. But it didn't, because.." He trailed off and looked back at the book.

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

"Because you died," Tyler said dully.

He buried his head in his folded arms. "You died because you believed in it. Because I made people believe in it."

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"No, not it. You."

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

"I tapped into something," Tyler said, not disagreeing. "It, me, whatever."

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"We were better, for a while. All of us. But we're nothing without you."

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

Tyler smiled, a truly wretched smile.

"No. With me, you're nothing. You're rotting bones that are somehow talkng to me and why did I let the shrink cut back on my meds?"

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"Why did you leave?" Bob asked. "You weren't there when I.. now you're not there for the others?"