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Doctoring 101, Friday, Per 1

Another day, another portal, another trip into Navaan's reality. You guys were getting to see so much good stuff! And learning to really understand where she came from and why she was the way she was! (Understanding is the best part of friendship, isn't it, bestie <3 <3)

"All right, so today we're going into one of the scariest, most horrific places I can think of," Navaan declared, standing in front of a tall, and elegant-looking building that practically gleamed in the light. "One day, when I have a big enough group, I'm gonna come back and burn this place out, but, sadly, today is not that day. Perhaps, after experiencing the atrocities inside, you'll decide to join me, but that's for another day. Today is just a scouting mission and may whatever god you worship, even Sithrak, have mercy on your soul once you witness what lies within." She took a deep and fortifying breath. "That's right, today, I'm bringing you to...a hospital. Chip up chaps, and gird your loins - probably for good sex afterwards, but whatever. Let's go."

And with her shoulders back and head held high, in Navaan marched.

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Doing Battle!

Anakin Skywalker

Stewart

Donald Blake

Arthur Lester

Are your loins properly girded? Well, are they?!?!

Better be, because she's going in!

Edited 2024-06-14 18:14 (UTC)

The lower floor is given over to Reception, where a bevy of incredibly attractive people were bustling around with files, wheeling people with various ailments and maladies about, and helping other people find their way. The waiting room was full of plants and large windows and even a few helpful posters to ensure safer, longer lives.

"Oh, hello!" one receptionist said with a pleasant smile as Navaan strode up. "How can I help you? Looking for a specialist in particular?"

"Out of our way!" Navaan declared. "I'm a doctor and this is my class and we've come to see your horrors!"

"Umm...well, this is a hospital," the receptionist said, looking confused. "There aren't really any horrors?"

"We'll be the judge of that!" Navaan snapped. "Come along you lot! And ignore them. They're all just shapeshifters, except those ones over there." She pointed at a group of concerned-looking receptionists that quickly ducked back around a corner and out of sight. "They're unholy polyps of extruded flesh. I know these things, I'm a doctor."

[First two links SFW, third link NSFW]

Edited 2024-06-14 18:20 (UTC)

Don paused to snap a photo of the poster about how believing you existed was a personal choice, for no particular reason.

Then, of course, he silenced his phone and put it away.

The first stop on this carnival of horrors was the injury ward, a long hall set up with individual tents for patients. It was very noisy in here, with patients groaning and weeping and generally in pain. Busy official looking people wandered through the tents, taking notes, snapping orders to people, and suggesting treatment.

"This is the floor of 'faith-healers,'" Navaan said, rolling her eyes. She stopped in front of one tent where a patient gasped for breath, his shirt open to show a bloody wound. As they watched, a young man with a compassionate expression on his face stepped inside. "Your chest is pretty badly torn up," he told the bleeding man. "May I heal it with the power of lies?"

[Safe!]

"What the hell is this?" Arthur asked, appalled, as John described it all to him.

"A hospital," Navaan said. "I thought I made that real clear!"

"But this is terrible!" Arthur insisted. "Are all the hospitals here like this?"

"Probably!"

Navaan hadn't been to all of them, Arthur!

"But hospitals are supposed to help people! Not whatever this is!" Arthur insisted.

Navaan scoffed. "You go and tell them that!"

"I'm a little outnumbered," Arthur noted.

And he didn't have his gun.

"Then why are you complaining to me?" Navaan asked. "I already said I'm gonna come back and burn them out!"

"Wait, you were serious? Are you going to get the patients out first?"

Did Arthur sound alarmed? Arthur was a bit alarmed.

"Obviously," she scoffed. "It's like you don't know how doctoring works at all."

Whoever had the most patients won, Arthur!

"That is apparently true, at least for around here," Arthur admitted.

Your entire world was weird, Navaan.

After witnessing the effect the power of lies had on patients (that would be: none), they continued on to an area labeled infectious diseases where they were all given plague doctor masks to wear for their safety.

And, yes, that was it for their safety equipment. Just the mask.

This area had proper rooms with large observation windows to look into. One of the rooms showed a hideous fleshy creature with multiple eyes that undulated slightly while it happily talked to a group of doctors (also in masks), who were taking notes. Navaan led them inside to hear what it was saying.

"The power of belief is a powerful thing," one of the doctors agreed, nodding thoughtfully.

"And are we even sure the host was using the lung at the time? We can't say the spore didn't move in thinking it was abandoned..."

Just then, a burst of colorful light and the sound of trumpets came from the hallway as a staff-wielding man stepped through the glowing portal. As his foot stepped on the floor, half the patients in the rooms vanished resulting in boos and jeers from the staff.

"I was studying that!" one doctor yelled. "Oh there you go showing off again!" yelled another.

"Fine!" A woman tore off her mask in frustration and stomped down the hall. "If that's the way it's gonna be, I'll just engineer a new plague, even more virulent than the last!"

"Oooh, let's follow her!" Navaan said, scampering after.

[Both links safe!]

"This is explaining so much about the class," Anakin sad faintly.

"Right?" Don whispered to him.

Navaan just nodded knowingly. That's right, bestie. This was why she was teaching you how to be good doctors.

I'm feeling very uncomfortable about this thing, Arthur, John said, eyeing the whatever-it-was in the human.

"Maybe the host is happy," Arthur suggested weakly.

Following the angrily stomping woman, they ended up in an auditorium labeled 'Therapy Ideation.' Navaan sat down in one of the back rows of seats to watch, gesturing for her class to join her.

At the front of the room where a group of skeletons in tattered robes, arguing about flesh-eating parasites when the woman hollered, "I need a new plague! Gregory ruined the last one with his stupid chronomancy!"

"Oooh! A request!" the first skeleton said, steepling its fingerbones together.

"I'll get the chalkboard!" another said.

"Remember, cabal," a third skeleton said piously. "This is an ideation session. All ideas are good ideas, so lets not shut anyone's ideas down, okay? Okay."

And then they watched a ten-minute ideation session as the skeletons came together to create a novel plague to unleash.

[One panel NSFW]

Edited 2024-06-14 18:51 (UTC)

After tucking his plague doctor mask away for stealing/safe-keeping, Stewart made himself comfortable in a seat with his feet up on the one in front of him, tapping out an inspired rhythm because that shout of 'I need a new plague' was instantly putting to mind some sort of death metal plague punk dance remix of an old Huey Lewis and the News staple...

After the ideation session broke up for celebratory sex-and-donuts, Navaan led the class up a set of stairs that to the 'Infffirmary.'

"Normally, I wouldn't even show first-time students this place," she said. "But most of you don't suck too terribly and I think you can handle it. But it's not gonna be pretty and you need to be prepared for that."

And she opened up a door and led them inside.

[Safe!]

Just keep walking, Arthur. Nothing worth seeing here.

John kind of wished he could avoid it, too.

After their tour concluded, Navaan led them back through the portal to their classroom.

"Thoughts?" she asked.

"Compared to all of this, sex seems relatively inoffensive as a remedy," Arthur admitted, extremely reluctantly.

"And you thought I didn't know what I was about," Navaan scoffed.

To be clear, it was because she did not.

"I still don't know how helpful any of that is," Arthur insisted. "But it's certainly better than most of this."

"Right because you never wanna give me any credit for things," Navaan said.

"Well it's not as if having sex with someone is going to heal their wounds, either," Arthur protested. "They'll just...go out happier than they would here, I suppose."

There was a snakebite victim who would agree with that.

"How many people's lives have you saved by doctoring?"

[NSFW!]

"None, because I'm not a doctor!" Arthur said.

"Then maybe shut up about how doctoring works!"

"Well, how do you fix wounds?" Arthur asked.

"Depends on the wound, duh!" Navaan said. Some involved acorns! Or sex! Or sex and acorns! "You don't know anything! Just 'cause your mad at the hospital doesn't mean you get to be a jerk to me! This isn't a sexy roleplay!"

And with that she flounced out.

Arthur stood for a moment dumbfounded.

"Well, that's a first."

You should probably apologize.

"I have no idea what I would apologize for."

You can think of something.

Who was a better doctor than you expected, huh? Huh?

Why do I always plan for my longest classes on days when the headache gods are like "We hate you especially"?

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Doctoring 101, Friday, Per 1

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Listen to the...Lecture?

Reception

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Injury Ward

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Talk to Navaan

OOC